First loves and last kisses
by HistoryGeek1399
Summary: Casey Novak and Serena Southerlyn are high school sweethearts, when Serena leaves Casey to go and study abroad, Casey is heart broken. Eventually she finds love with Alex Cabot and just when she thinks she has it all worked out, Serena comes back into her life, stirring up old feelings. Starts out C/S will become A/C with several other pairings along the way.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N; Firstly, I don't own any of the unoriginal character's, if I did...Oh the things I would do...Secondly, I know what you're all thinking where is the Casey and Alex loving...It will come, I promise. Lastly, As awesome as I am I can not take credit for the idea that came from the totally lovely, utterly bonkers and completely adorable Blitz.**

Seventeen year old Casey Novak stepped up to the plate, it was the championship game and they were down by two and she was last up to bat, their chance for victory rested on her shoulders, on her ability to hit a ball with the bat clutched tightly in her suddenly sweaty hands. All she needed to do was hit it hard enough that Olivia could make it home and she could make it round, a home-run. No problem. Taking a deep breath she tried to ignore the chants of the crowd, the fact her parents were in the crowd rooting for her, the scouts from colleges and the weight of expectation.

Releasing the breath she had been holding she got into position, the first ball whizzing past her in the blink of an eye, as did the second. Suppressing the urge to swear and give into her frustration, Casey rolled her neck and refocused on the pitcher, she knew from their training that Abbie Carmichael the captain of their opposition and current pitcher, favoured a knuckleball, which reduced spin and made it difficult for the batter to read. Closing her eyes she cleared her mind, this was just another game in the park with her brothers, another pitch thrown by her father, no pressure, cracking her neck she stepped into position.

As the ball sailed towards her she swung the bat, taking a nano second to savour the sound of the bat hitting the ball, she dropped her bat and started to run, sliding into home the roar of the home crowd and her team-mates ringing in her ears as her best friend Kim Greylek pulled her to her feet slapping her on the back, "You did it, we won."

"Nice going Novak!" Called the coach.

Giving him a thumbs up she was pulled into a many armed hug with her team mates, as they celebrated winning their first championship in ten years. Once the hug ended Casey picked up her water bottle and was heading towards where her parents were waiting, hearing someone call her name she turned and smiled at Abbie Carmichael, "Hi, that was some game."

Shaking hands Abbie smiled, "Yeah, that last hit was amazing! I can't even be pissed we lost It was so good."

"Thanks, I thought you had me there for a minute. You have quiet the arm, those knuckle pitches are the worst to anticipate." Grinned Casey.

"Thanks, I should go my mum is waving at me. I'll see you about and next time your as is mine."

"Whatever helps you sleep. See you about Carmichael." Replied Casey with a smirk before making her way over to her parents.

"Nice job today Sweetie, that was some home hit." Grinned her father Derek as he pulled her in for a hug.

"Thanks dad." Replied Casey, with a smile.

"You did well, but look at you you're all dirty." Scolded Anne Novak as she took in her daughter's clay covered trousers and sweaty hair.

"I'll shower." Offered Casey, her smile dimming at her mother's words.

"Leave her be, she just won the championship." Replied Derek, "How about we go for pizza to celebrate?"

Before Casey could reply she felt a tap on the shoulder, "Ummm, Casey? Hi."

"Hi...um...you're.." She floundered not knowing the beautiful blondes name, despite having spent many hours watching as she trained.

"Serena, Serena Southerlyn. I'm head cheerleader." Smiled the blonde.

"Right. Sorry, different crowds." Replied Casey with a small smile.

"Yeah, that and you're oblivious to my attempts at getting to know you, we share the same history and maths class." Grinned the blonde.

"Sorry..." Muttered Casey.

"Don't be, I was wondering if you're going to Shannon's party tonight?"

"I wasn't planning on it." Admitted Casey, although she was in the 'popular' crowd she wasn't one for hanging out with the cheerleaders preferring to play video games with her friends.

"You should come, I'd like it if you came." Smiled the blonde, her hand lingering on Casey's arm.

The feeling of Serena's hand in her arm and the wide smile the beautiful blonde was directing at her made Casey's insides flutter, "Uh, well, um.."

"Slick." Laughed Serena, "Here take this and give me a text if you change your mind."

Looking down at the slip of paper bearing Serena's number, Casey couldn't hold back her smile, "I'll do that, thanks."

"Great, well I hope to see you later. It was nice to meet you Mr Novak, Mrs Novak." Smiled Serena, sending a wave over her shoulder before heading back to her friends.

-  
>That evening Serena was stood in front of her closet in just her underwear, clothes all over the floor and her bed as she tried to find something to wear to the party, wanting to make a special effort if Casey decided to show up. From the first time she saw Casey she had been attracted to the beautiful redhead, several times she had tried to Casey attention after training or to be partnered with her on assignments, each time Casey politely brushed her off.<p>

She got the feeling it wasn't so much that Casey wasn't interested but rather she didn't believe Serena was actually interested in her, it had taken all her courage to approach Casey after the game today, she just hoped Casey came to the party or at least called her.

Pulling on her favourite dark jeans she decided on a dark green halter-neck top, she knew green was Casey's favourite colour and the shirt showed off her ample cleavage, something she had noticed Casey staring at more than once when she didn't think Serena was paying attention. As she was putting the finishing touches to her make up, her phone began to ring, not recognising the number she hoped it was Casey calling as she answered, "Hello?"

"Hi, Serena? It's um Casey, Casey Novak from school. You um gave me your number..."

Giving a small chuckle Serena decided to go to Casey's rescue, "I'm glad you called."

"Really?"

"Absolutely, I've tried to get you to notice me all year." Replied Serena, slumping down on her bed.

"I-I guess I didn't think you noticed I was alive." Whispered Casey.

"How could I not notice you? You're funny, smart, great at sports and beautiful." Replied Serena.

"Thank you, I've noticed you too...Not..not in a creepy way...in a you're nice way." Stuttered Casey, cutting off when she heard the blondes laughter, "Sorry, I'm not very good at this kinda thing."

"It's sweet." Replied Serena, "So, are you coming to the party tonight?"

"Umm, I actually have plans with the team tonight, but I was wondering if you would like to maybe, only if you want to, come to the pictures with me tomorrow? I mean I don't know whats playing or anything so maybe..you don't want to."

Despite being disappointed Casey wasn't going to the party, the prospect of an actual date with the redhead the following day more than made up for it, "Casey, calm down. I would love to spend the day with you tomorrow."

"That's great, I'm looking forward to it, what time shall I pick you up?" Asked Casey.

"Anytime, I'm free all day." Replied Serena.  
>"Okay, how about I pick you up at lunch time? We could go for a picnic before the movie?" Suggested Casey.<p>

"Sounds great. Casey, this, tomorrow it's a date right?" Asked Serena.

"I...yeah...I mean I hope so." Replied Casey, hitting her forehead with her palm at how moronic she sounded.

"Good, me too." Replied Serena.

"Good. That's good." Replied Casey, "I should go, I'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, have fun tonight." Replied Serena.

"Yeah, you too." Replied Casey making no effort to hang up.

"Umm Casey, why haven't you hung up?" Asked Serena.

Casey shrugged her shoulders before she realised the blonde couldn't see her and she would have to form a verbal response. "I like talking to you, but I'm kinda topless at the moment so...give me a minute."

Casey was sure her brain exploded at the image of the blonde without a shirt on, "Uhhh um yeah, I'll hold." Moving the phone away from her face Casey muttered, "I'll hold? What are you a moron? Come on Novak, get it together."

Changing her mind about the shirt Serena, picked a long-sleeved light pink t-short and pulled it over her head, deciding to save the green top for their date the following day. Sitting back on the bed just in time to hear Casey giving herself a pep-talk, placing a hand over her mouth to stifle her laughter, "I'm back."

"Great, so um, your all dressed now."

"Nope, decided to get totally naked." Replied Serena, chuckling as she heard a lot of rustling and a soft thus before more rustling and a loud thump followed a string of swear words, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I er... dropped my phone and then banged my head picking it up." Muttered Casey, "Are you laughing at me?"

"A little, I think it's adorable that you're all nervous. For the record I'm actually dressed." Replied Serena.

"Good to know." Replied Casey. They spent several minutes talking about school and teachers they hated, when Casey heard her mum calling up the stairs to let her know Kim had arrived, saying a reluctant goodbye Casey grabbed her jacket and headed down to meet her best friend.

"So you and the cheerleader?" Asked Kim as she drove them to their team mates house for a celebration party.

"We're going to the cinema tomorrow." Admitted Casey.

"See and you thought she didn't know you were alive." Grinned Kim, seeing her friends thoughtful expression she asked, "What's going on in that head of yours?"

"What if it's all a set up?"

"Casey, you're the school hero! That hit today win the game, you're going to be the most wanted girl in school." Replied Kim, "Plus, I've seen her checking you out."

"Really?"

"Would I lie to you?" Asked Kim.

"Yes, remember the time you told me the man opposite was a vampire and I got all freaked out? Or maybe the time you convinced me to dye my hair blonde?" Replied Casey.

"Busted." Laughed Kim, "Look at it this way, you can seduce her with your awkwardness."

"Bit me." Muttered Casey, as they headed into the party, her arrival causing a loud cheer making her blush.

Arriving home that night Casey took a shower and climbed into bed, pulling out her phone she decided to send Serena a message, 'Hi, hope you had fun at the party?'

The reply was swift, 'It was fun, would have been better if you were there. How was your team celebration? Xx'

Smiling Casey replied, 'It was good, Kim and Olivia spent most of it making out, sometimes I'm worried they're going to melt into each other and become one person. Xx'

'Kind of like in that Doctor Who episode? Xx'

'Just like that! You like Doctor Who? Xx'

'Absolutely. Xx'

'My perfect woman. Xx' replied Casey, getting no reply she started to worry she had come on to strong, just as she was debating sending another text her phone pinged, making her jump.

'Sorry, I was in the shower, have to be quick or my sisters use all the hot water. I'd like to be your perfect woman ;-) xx'

'Certainly a step in the right direction. Xx'

'Being naked? Xx'

'You have a dirty mind. :-) xx'

'Clean body though. I should get some sleep, I have a date with the star of the softball team '

'Sweet dreams. xx'

'If you're in them they will ' Was the swift reply.

The following morning Casey was awake before seven, something that never happened on a Saturday unless she had a game, as she didn't her parents were surprised to see her up and dressed so early.

"Morning Sweetie, your up early." Greeted Derek Novak.

"I have plans today." Replied Casey with a smile, "Mum do you think you could help me make a picnic, I have a date."

"Of course, whose the lucky boy?"

"Mum, you know I like girls. Her name is Serena, you met her at the game last night." Replied Casey, keeping her voice soft.

"That's great, she seemed nice." Offered Derek.

"Oh Casey, why can't you just..."

"Mum! I'm gay, I like girls. I'm sorry but that's not going to change, forget the picnic I'll get something from the store." Replied Casey.

"Don't be silly, we'll make a nice picnic." Smiled Anne.

Casey knew it was hard for her mum to accept her being gay so the offer to make the picnic with her was a big thing for her. "Thanks mum."

"Of course sweetie, excuse me I just need to check on your brother, he has work today." Replied Anne, leaving the kitchen.

Looking across at his daughter Derek, reached out and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "She'll get there, just give it time."

"Thanks dad." Smiled Casey.

Reaching in his wallet he handed Casey some money, "Here, why don't you take your girl for dinner after the film."

"Dad, she's not my girl." Replied Casey with a blush.

"Yet." Grinned Derek Novak, turning his attention back to the paper he was reading.

Arriving outside the blonde house Casey, collected the flowers she had picked up from the florist and headed to the door, pressing the door bell she wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans, before breathing into her hand to make sire her breath was still minty fresh. Hearing the door open, she forced a smile to her face, one that became more natural when she saw Serena smiling at her. "Hi, these are for you."

"There beautiful, thank you." Smiled Serena, "Let me put them inside and we can go, I'd invite you in but my sister's are home and would give you the third degree, don't want them frightening you off before we've had our first kiss."

"In that case, I'm happy to wait here." Smiled Casey, a light blush colouring her cheeks.

Five minutes later they were in Casey's beat up old VW Beetle she was doing up with her dad, "I love your car."

"Thanks, it's coming together...slowly. My dad has been helping me on weekends."

"That's cool. My dads more a pay someone to do it for you kinda guy." Replied Serena.

Arriving at the park, they found a spot by the fountain and enjoyed the picnic Casey had brought, before watching a cheesy romantic comedy at the cinema, the whole afternoon had been filled with easy conversation and as time wore on Casey felt less and less awkward. Deciding they had eaten too much to want dinner, they decided to take a walk around the fun fair, as they walked Casey noticed Serena shiver and slipped off her jacket slipping it around the blondes shoulders.

"Thank you." Smiled Serena.

Giving an exaggerated bow, Casey replied, "Anything for you, my lady."

"Why thank you." Grinned Serena with a curtsey, linking their hands together as they walked around the fair.

After winning Serena a number of stuffed animals they decided they should head home, pulling up outside the blondes house, Casey walked around the car opening the door for the blonde, who linked their hands as they walked to the door.

"I had a really good time." Smiled Serena as she handed Casey her jacket back.

"Me too." Smiled Casey.

"Does that mean you want to go out with me again?" Asked Serena.

"Very much so." Replied Casey.

Titling her head to the side, Serena studied the redhead, "Casey, would you like to kiss me?"

"I...errr...yes, I'd like that very much." Mumbled Casey.

"Then kiss me." Replied the blonde.

Taking a small step forward, Casey pressed her lips against Serena's, her mind filled with a thousand fireworks, breaking the kiss, she smiled at Serena, "Wow. Does this mean you'll be my girlfriend? Asked Casey, shuffling her feet in nerves.

"Forever." Grinned Serena before pressing her lips against Casey's in a soft kiss.


	2. Chapter 2

As Casey stared in the mirror, she tugged at the shirt she was wearing she couldn't stop the slight tremble in her hands, it was the night of her and Serena's three month anniversary and she had planned a special night. She had worked extra shifts for her father, done extra chores around the house so she had enough money to buy her girlfriend a present and have enough for dinner. Casting one more look in the mirror she put her phone and wallet in her pocket and picked up the necklace she had picked out for Serena before heading downstairs. Her plan was to sneak out before her mother tried to have the 'sex' talk with her again, something that was excruciating for both of them, her plan was working until she dropped her keys.

"Casey, can you come in here a minute." Called her mother.

Although technically a question, she knew refusal wasn't an option, saying a silence prayer Casey headed into the lounge where her parents were watching TV, "Hi, I'm running late so..."

"Don't worry you're not in trouble. We just wanted to give you this." Smiled Derek Novak handing his daughter an envelope.

Opening the envelope Casey pulled out for crisp fifty dollar bills, "What?"

"It's a well done, your grades are good, you work hard and we're proud of you. Now go and have a good time, be home by midnight at the latest."

"Thank you." Whispered Casey hugging her parents before rushing out of the door. Arriving at Serena's house she picked up the flowers she had brought, the same ones as on their first date and knocked on the door. Running her hand over her shirt she looked up as the door opened, her smile fading when she saw Angela, Serena's mum standing in front of her, "Hello Mrs Southerlyn, is Serena ready?"

"She's just changing her dress...again." Smiled Angela, "Would you like to come in and wait, you know what she's like."

"Thank you." Replied Casey politely.

"Cyrus is watching the game, if you want to check the score, I'll go and see how Serena's wardrobe change is going."

Thanking the older woman Casey headed into the lounge, in the three months she and Serena had been dating they had grown comfortable in each others homes, "How are they doing?" Asked Casey, perching on the edge of the sofa.

"Down by three runs." Replied Cyrus as the two of them yelled at the TV, sharing in disgust for the umpires bad call.

Hearing someone clear their throat Casey turned her head, her jaw dropping at the sight of Serena in a black dress that highlighted her curves and cleavage, realising she was staring she shook her head, "You look amazing, these are for you."

"Thank you, you look lovely too, I love that green on you." Smiled Serena, pecking Casey on the lips, taking delight in the deep blush that coloured her girlfriends cheeks.

"We should go." Muttered Casey.

"Sure." Smiled Serena, kissing her father goodbye.

"Casey?" Called Cyrus.

"Yes Sir."

"Have my baby girl home by midnight."

"Yes Sir." Replied Casey as she took Serena's hand and led her to the car.

"Before we go, I think you owe me a proper kiss." Whispered Serena.

"Heaven forbid, I'm in debt." Smiled Casey leaning across and claiming Serena's lips in a soft kiss, one that soon became heated, as they separated they were both panting. They had decided they wanted wait to take their relationship to the next level as it would be a first for both of them.

"I love kissing you." Smiled Serena.

"You're pretty great at it." Smiled Casey, reaching across the blonde she opened the glove box, pulling out the velvet box and the card she had brought she handed them to Serena, "This is for you...Happy three month anniversary."

"I have something for you too." Smiled the blonde pulling a small box and card from her purse, handing them to Casey.

"You go first." Smiled Casey biting down on her lip.

Opening the box Serena gasped at the delicate silver chain with two small heart attached to it, "Casey, its beautiful. I love it. Help me put it on."

Taking the chain from the box Casey fixed it around Serena's neck, making a mental note to thank her mum for helping her pick it out.  
>"Your turn." Smiled Serena.<p>

Opening the box Casey felt her breath catch as she looked at the bright green watch, "Serena this is..."

"Turn it over." Instructed Serena.

Taking the watch out of the box Casey laughed as she read, 'For telling the timey wimey.'. "Serena this is...wow thank you."

"Are you going to put it on?" Asked the blonde, it had taken her ages to find what she deemed to be the perfect gift for her girlfriend.

"Absolutely, but first I want to kiss you again." Smiled Casey, leaning across and claiming her girlfriends lips in a passionate kiss, "God, I never want to stop kissing you."

"I agree." Smiled Serena.

Sharing one more kiss, Casey started the car and they lapsed into easy conversation as Casey drove them towards a small Italian restaurant in town. Heading inside they were shown to a table and spent the first ten minutes laughing at the people around them, once they had placed their orders, Casey asked, "Have you heard from any of the colleges you applied to?"

"No, but according to the literature we should hear back soon, I'm really nervous what if no one wants me?"

"Then they're idiots! You're the smartest girl I know and once they see your application you will have offers from all of them." Smiled Casey.

"Am I smarter than Kim?" Asked Serena with a raised eyebrow.

"Well Kim's weird, she likes homework." Smiled Casey.

"Are you still hoping for a sorts scholarship?"

"Yeah, I think I have a good chance and my grades aren't that bad, in fact since we started dating my grades have improved. What about you, did you decide between law and medicine?"

"I think law. What about you do you have plans past playing softball?"

"You sound like my mum." Replied Casey.

"I didn't mean anything by it." Replied Serena, taking Casey's hand and pressing a light kiss to the back of it.

"I know, I'm sorry. I'm thinking sports science, play to my strengths."

"Like a sports coach?"

"Maybe, unless I'm good enough to go pro." Smiled Casey.

"Well, I'll be your cheerleader, I know how much you like the uniform." Smiled Serena.

"Busted." Grinned Casey as they spent the rest of the meal sharing easy conversation and making plans for the end of term party and the camping trip they were going on with Liv and Kim.

After Casey paid the bill they decided to take a walk along the river before heading home. Walking along holding Serena's hand Casey couldn't believe how lucky she was, Serena wasn't just beautiful, she was extremely driven in her school work which by default made Casey work harder, bringing her own grades up. She knew she loved the blonde she just hadn't told her yet, she didn't want to come on too strong.

"Whats got you thinking so hard?" Asked Serena, pulling Casey from her thoughts.

"I was just thinking how lucky I am to have you as my girlfriend." Smiled Casey.

"That's what I keep telling you." Smiled Serena, giggling as Casey picked her up and spinning her around, "Put me down." Laughed Serena.

Setting Serena down, Casey pulled her close claiming her lips in a soft kiss, ending the kiss she rested their foreheads together, "I love you."

"I love you too." Smiled Serena, pressing their lips together in another kiss.

"We should head home." Whispered Casey, not wanting the night to end.

"I guess so." Smiled Serena, as they walked back to the car they stopped for several more kisses, having to jog the last part of the journey as it started to rain.

Reaching the car they were both laughing, reaching into the boot Casey pulled out her sorts bag handing Serena a towel and her Letterman jacket from the back seat, "Here, you look cold."

"Thank you." Smiled Serena, slipping on the jacket she was sure she had worn more than Casey since they had started dating.

"Anything for you." Smiled Casey, as she started the engine.

Their journey was largely silent as Casey concentrated on the road, the rain reducing her visibility to almost zero as the wipers in her car proved little match for the heavy downpour. They had been driving for about twenty minutes when her lost power and stalled.

"Stupid car." Muttered Casey as she pulled across to the side of the road.

"What's wrong with it?" Asked Serena, pulling out her phone and groaning when se saw she had no signal.

"No idea." Muttered Casey, trying to start the engine again, getting a whining noise, reaching into the glove box she pulled out a torch, clicking it on she was relieved it was working, "Stay here I'll take a look."

"I can help, hold the torch or something." Offered Serena.

"There's no point us both getting soaked, check my phone for a signal and call my parents." Replied Casey, pressing a soft kiss to Serena's lips before climbing out and walking to the rear of her car, opening the bonnet she couldn't see anything that would explain their sudden stop. Slamming the bonnet down she quickly got back in the car, smiling at Serena as she handed her a towel, "Thanks, I couldn't see anything. Any luck with the phones?"

"Neither of have a signal." Replied Serena.

"Fuck." Shouted Casey, "I'll walk along the road until I get a signal."

"I'm coming with you." Replied Serena.

"Rena, it's really raining coming down."

"I'm not staying her on my own." Argued Serena. "Please Case."

"Okay, lets wait it out, someone is bound to pass us or the rain might let up." Replied Casey, giving a shiver as she suddenly realised how cold she was, "Lets climb in the back, I have a blanket."

"Any excuse to get me in the back seat of your car." Smiled Serena.

Snuggling under the blanket Casey pulled Serena close, pressing a soft kiss to her lips, moaning as Serena tangled her hands in her hair deepening the kiss, soon Casey's shirt was off as was the jacket Serena had been wearing.

"Casey, I can see headlights." Muttered Serena,

"What?" Asked Casey, slightly dazed from the intensity of their make out session.

"Someones coming, put your shirt on." Hissed Serena as she straightened her dress and tried to smooth down her hair.

"Oh, right. "Muttered Casey, quickly pulling her shirt back on and buttoning it as someone knocked on the window, climbing into the front she wound the window down as she recognised her dad. "Thank God." Muttered Casey.

"Whats going on?" Asked Derek in a stern voice.

"The damn car just stopped and neither of us had a signal, I thought it best to wait for the rain to lessen up or someone to drive past." Explained Casey, looking down at her watch she saw it was after two and added, "We didn't mean to worry anyone."

"Its okay, as long as you're both safe. Come on, let's get home we can pick yours up in the morning."

"Thanks dad." Smiled Casey, handing Serena her jacket, they were soon in the back of Derek's car, heading towards Serena's house.

"Mr Novak, did you call my parents at all?" Asked Serena.

"I did, don't worry I'll explain so you don't get in trouble." Replied Derek, sending Serena a smile in the rearview mirror.

"Thank you." Replied Serena with a relieved smile.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-  
>Two weeks later, Casey pulled on to the drive having stayed late at practice, she was surprised to see her girlfriends car on the drive, climbing out she rushed inside, following the sounds of laughter she found her mother and girlfriend looking through photo albums, "Hi."<p>

"Hi, your mum was showing me your baby pictures, you were adorable." Smiled Serena as Casey pecked her on the cheek.

"Oh God mum!" Whined Casey.

"Oh hush. Dinner wont be long, so wash up. Serena, would you like to stay?"

"If it's not too much trouble, I was hoping to steal your daughter for the evening, I got my acceptance to Yale and my dad gave me some money to celebrate." Smiled the blonde.

"That's amazing. See I told you they would want you." Grinned Casey, picking the blonde up and spinning her around.

"That's brilliant Sweetie." Smiled Anne, "Which reminds me, this arrived for you today." Said Anne, handing Casey a large envelope with the Yale logo on it.

"Here goes nothing." Muttered Casey opening the envelope, reading the inclosed letter twice to make sure she understood a wide smile spread across Casey's face. "I got in! I got in!" Yelled Casey.

"We're going to college together." Grinned Serena.

"Yeah we are." Grinned Casey.

As it was a double celebration they decided they would all go to the local restaurant, arriving they bumped into Liv and Kim who were celebrating their own acceptance letters. As she climbed into bed that night Casey, was excited for the future.

**A/N; Only one more chapter before Alex appears in the story.**


	3. Chapter 3

Casey was sitting in the middle of her room, a half empty bottle of Wild Turkey Bourbon clutched in one hand and a crumpled letter in the other, bringing the bottle to her lips she winced as the liquid burnt her throat, she didn't really like bourbon but she had drunk everything else in her apartment and wasn't ready to stop. Taking another swig she let her head fall back against the wall with a solid thump, closing her eyes as she tried to work out where it had all gone wrong, looking down at the tear stained page in her hand she didn't need to read it she knew all the words by heart. Resisting the urge to tear the page into small bits she closed her eyes and in an attempt to stop the bitter tears streaming down her cheeks. Just a few weeks before she had a loving girlfriend of almost three years, a promising sports career and her life mapped out and now, Serena was gone, her career over and no idea how to make it though the day.

From the moment they had started dating Casey had been in love with the blonde, she had the ability to make Casey believe anything was possible, that she could do anything and they would be together forever. She remembered the night they first made love, Serena's parents were away for the night and their parents had agreed they could spend the night at Serena's. As they got into bed that nigh she had been so nervous, they both had but as soon as they kissed and she looked into Serena's eyes the nerves went away and everything clicked into place. Once they started college they spent most nights together, sometimes they would stay up all night just talking about the future, laughing until their stomachs ached or just kissing and enjoying each other's company.

At the start of their second year at college they had rented a small apartment just off campus, it was damp, small and permanently cold, but to them it was a palace. They had picked out furniture from junk shops and their parents attics, spent night cuddled up on the lumpy couch watching movies on their laptops and swapping dreams for their future. They had argued, made up and made love in every room and now it felt so empty without Serena. Where there had once been piles of Disney movies and chick flicks there was now dust, the back of the couch was bare without the Mets throw Serena had brought her for her birthday and the table that was once covered in Serena's textbooks and laptop was now littered with empty beer bottles.

Taking another pull of bourbon she looked down at the page clutched tightly in her hand and gave a bitter laugh at how one innocent looking piece of paper could change your life. Arriving home from her softball game she hadn't been surprised to find the apartment in darkness, it wasn't unusual for Serena to be in the library studying until late. Heading into the kitchen she opened the fridge to pull out a soda when she noticed an envelope resting against her 'I kiss better that I cook.' mug a gag gift she had received from Serena after she almost poisoned them both with 'slightly' undercooked chicken. Picking up the envelope she headed back to the lounge, opening the envelope she read the words and felt the world shift. Taking another gulp of the bourbon she recalled the words,

'_My Darling Casey,  
>This is the hardest thing I have ever had to write, I don't really know where to start. Do I tell you how much I love you, how much you mean to me or how every moment we have spent together has been the best of my life? All of those are true and I hope you know that and one day you will forgive me for what I'm about to do. You see, I was offered the chance to read law at Oxford and I've agonised over this for days and this was the only option I could find. You know this has always been a dream of mine and I know that sounds selfish but I couldn't pass it up and I know you would have come with me had I asked, but we want different things it wouldn't be fair to either of us and I couldn't do that to you. I'm going to miss you and I will always treasure the times we spent together, the sound of your laughter and the taste of your kiss and I hope one day we will find our way back together and share the future we planned. We shared so much, please forgive me.<br>All my love,  
>Serena. xx'<em>

Throwing the bottle across the room she felt a sense of satisfaction as it smashed against the picture of the two of them taken by her father the first summer they went to her families lake house. Pushing herself to her feet she cried out as the pain in her leg returned full force, reaching for the pain killers she debated taking them on top of the alcohol she had consumed, before throwing them across the room and slumping down on the couch, closing her eyes at the memory of the accident that had changed her life almost as much as the hated letter. It was the week after she had found the letter and despite Kim and Olivia's best efforts she hadn't left the apartment, as she laid there staring at the rain pounding the widows her cell phone began to ring, she ignored it until it beeped alerting her to the fact she had a new voice mail, not recognising the number she pressed play, almost dropping the phone as Serena's voice filtered through the speakers.

"Casey...its...its me, I know you probably don't want to speak to me ever again and I don't blame you. I just...I just couldn't get on the plane without telling you I love you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Casey...I never meant to hurt you...I love you. I will always love you. I'm sorry."

She had replayed the message four times before pushing herself up from the couch, maybe she could get to the airport before Serena got on the plane. Not bothering with a jacket she reached for her car keys almost stumbling over on the way to the door, the heavy rain soaking through her shirt as she made her way to her car, after dropping her keys several times she realised that she was too drunk to drive. Pulling out her cell phone she tried to focus on the screen as she walked attempting to dial Kim's number, she stumbled again falling into the path of an oncoming car, she didn't even have time to react as the car struck sending her into the air. Laying on the cold wet ground she Casey tried to move groaning as pain tore through her body, welcoming the blackness closed over her.

She remembered the following days, the worried looks her parents kept sending her way, the attempts her team mates made at cheering her up and the sympathy in her doctors eyes as he explained that her dream of playing professional sport were over, there was little chance she would regain full mobility in her leg. He explained that even with physical therapy and more surgeries she would always walk with a limp. Despite her parents insistence she go home with them to recover she insisted she needed to stay at college and they reluctantly agreed, after Kim and Olivia promised to check in on her everyday. Something she quickly put a stop to, so here she was three weeks later, sitting in her ratty apartment alone, everything dream she had in tatters, pulling one of Serena's t-shirts close she closed her eyes, the emotion and alcohol quickly catching up with her as she drifted off into a restless sleep.

She was pulled from her slumber by the smell of fresh coffee, for a brief moment she thought Serena had come back until she saw Kim's purse on the coffee table, feels her heart sink she pushed herself into a sitting position, resting her broken leg on the coffee table just as a cup of coffee was thrust at her by her best friend, "Drink this."

"Thanks." Muttered Casey, setting the cup down she tried to smooth out her hair giving up as Kim returned with a bottle of water and some pain killers.

"Don't argue, take them." She waited until Casey had swallowed the pills and drunk half the water before giving a nod and sitting down at the other end of the couch and turning to face her friend, "Case, I'm worried about you, we all are, talk to me."

"I just want to be left alone." Muttered Casey staring in to her coffee cup.

Sighing Kim debated what to say next, she had known Casey since they were five and her parents brought the house down the street, despite their differences the two had bonded over the horror of having older brothers and love of Star Wars. Once they started high-school their friendship continued, even when Kim started dating Liv, two became three, they still surfed, camped and shared each others lives. When Serena came along the group grew and as Casey and Liv were both sports mad Serena and Kim had bonded over books and shopping. Not only was it nice to have someone to shop with but Serena was good for Casey, she pushed her study and made her believe in herself and she had truly thought the two of them would make it, get married, have babies and grow old together and now Serena had broken Casey and Kim was afraid she would never be whole again. Sighing again she knew Casey would talk to her eventually and that pushing her to talk would make her dig her heels in but she needed to make Casey see that her life wasn't over. "Casey, I'm not going anywhere until you talk to me."

"What is there to talk about? The fact my girlfriend left me without a word, the fact my leg is so messed up my career is over before it has even started or maybe the fact I don't see a point in living anymore?" Asked Casey her voice rising as she went on. "She left me, she just up and left me without a word God, Kim she left me a FUCKING LETTER. A letter that's not even a page long. Is that really all I'm worth?."

"Case..."

"No! She left me Kim. I love her so much and she...she left me to go study in England, I mean whats so great about England anyway? I'd have gone with her or we could have made it work...Or I could...have asked to stay. We could have worked something out. And now my leg is all messed up and I don't know what I'm going to do..." Finished Casey losing the battle with her tears.

Pulling her friend close she held her as she cried, one Casey had hiccup to a stop she asked, "Want me to kick her ass?"

Casey was so taken aback my the question she gave a small laugh, "I don't see you as a fighter so best not."

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." Replied Kim.

"Really? A Star Wars reference." Replied Casey with a smile, before she sobered, "What am I going to do Kim? How do I stop hurting?"

"Well first you're going to shower and brush your teeth because you kinda smell, then you are going to have something to eat and we can work the rest out from there."

"Okay." Muttered Casey, knowing Kim was right.

Wrapping Casey's cast in a bin bag Kim set about tidying and making grilled cheese whilst Casey showered, they ate in a comfortable silence. Coming back from washing the plates Kim asked, "How you feeling?"

"Like my world has just crashed down around me. I'm numb, angry, heart broken and confused all at once."

"I'm sorry Case, I wish I had a way to make it better." Replied Kim.

"Thank you. What am I going to do? Playing softball, sport that was my life." Asked Casey.

"Case, you are smart, smarter than you give yourself credit for and you can do anything you put your mind to, give yourself some time and it will come good. Just don't force it."

"Maybe, I'll go work for my dad or build a Death Star and take over the universe one planet at a time."

"Everyone needs a dream." Smiled Kim before adding, "Whatever you decide, you'll do great at it."

"Thank you." They talked for a few hours before Kim had to leave for work.

After calling her parents and arranging an appointment with her advisor Casey found herself wandering around the silent apartment, reaching the bedroom she made a decision. Pulling her suitcase out from the wardrobe throwing her clothes and other belongings zipping it up, before getting some boxes from the building manager she threw the remainder of her books and DVD's in not stopping until the apartment was bare of everything she wanted to take with her. Sitting on the couch she pulled out a notepad and pen and after a few false starts she began to write pouring out her emotions on to the page, when she finished she folded it and placed it in an envelope. Sending Serena's parents an email to collect the last of the blondes belongings she placed the latter on the table and picked up her bag, taking one last look around the bare room she left, her heart aching as the door closed behind her for the last time.

**Five years later,**  
>Squaring her shoulders Casey jogged up the steps outside the New York District Attorney's office, flashing her new badge at the security guard she stepped into the elevator, taking a few calming breaths. After breaking her leg she had started taking law classes mainly because Kim was in them and to her amazement found she enjoyed them and so had gone on to law school graduating second in her class behind Kim. Once she had left school she had worked at a small family law practice before landing a job as a homicide prosecutor, hearing the elevator ping her arrival she took another big breath and headed towards EADA Elizabeth Donnelly's office.<p>

Knocking on the door she headed inside, "Hi, I'm Casey Novak your new homicide ADA."

"Of course, take a seat we're just waiting for one more person to join us." Replied Liz as they made small talk, until there was an authoritative knock on the door, "Ah Alexandra, this is Casey Novak, the new homicide ADA, Casey this is Alexandra Cabot lead ADA for special victims, but as we're short staffed she's agreed to show you around and help you settle in."

Standing up Casey held out her hand, "It's a pleasure to meet you, my friend Kim Greylek speaks highly of you." Shaking the blondes hand Casey felt a stirring of butterflies in her stomach, something she hadn't felt in many years.  
>"Ah, you're that Casey Novak." Replied the blonde with a bright smile.<p>

"Don't believe everything you've heard." Replied Casey with a smile of her own.

The rest of the day flew by and Casey had found herself enjoying Alex's company, as she laid in bed that night she found her mind still fixed on the beautiful blonde and the spark she had felt whenever their hands accidentally brushed or the blonde would say her name.


	4. Chapter 4

Casey had been working at the district attorneys office for just over a month in that time she had found herself becoming more and more attracted to Alexandra Cabot, there was something about the blonde that drew her towards the blonde, she was smart, passionate about her cases, funny and so beautiful her smile often distracted Casey, making her lose her train of thought. She would find herself craving the blonde's company despite the fact the way she felt about Alex terrified her, the thought of being open with someone, allowing them to see her venerable side and trusting them with her heart was something she had actively avoided since Serena had left, preferring one night stands with no commitment. It was this jumble of feelings that led her to the bar, well that, and the awkward conversation she had shared with said blonde that afternoon, swilling the amber liquid in her glass she replayed their conversation in her mind for what felt like the millionth time.

_Casey was sitting at her desk, trying to write her closing statement for a particularly harrowing case in which two young children had been killed by their father in revenge for their mother leaving him. The defence argued that he was suffering from a psychotic break, something their own shrinks disputed. Casey was sure the father's teary tun on the witness stand and his priests glowing character reference, had convinced at least one juror. Staring at the blank page she was relieved when there was a knock at her office door, calling out a quick, 'Come in.' she couldn't hold back the smile that spread across her face at the sight of Alex holding a cup of real coffee._

"_If one of those is for me, I'll love you forever." Grinned Casey leaning back in her seat._

"_Well in that case, you can have both."Smiled Alex, handing Casey one of the coffee's as she sat opposite Casey's desk, "Casey, I...I was wondering if you would like to go out sometime? On a date. Maybe see a film or get some dinner?"_

_Casey blinked several times at the question, on the one hand she wanted to say yes and take a chance on the woman in front of her on the other she was afraid of being hurt again, her mouth opening and closing several times before she was able to form a coherent sentence. "I...I'm flattered Alex, I really am. It's just I don't really do relationships and I'd hate for things to become awkward between us, because I really do like you."_

_"Oh...I see. Well no harm done. I should go, I have court. Bye."_

Casey had stared at the door fighting the urge to follow Alex and take her up on her offer, instead she had rested her head in her hands and spent the afternoon trying to convince herself that she had made the right was brought back to the present by a pretty brunette sliding into the seat nest to her, making sure to brush against her as she sat down.

"Oops, sorry." Smiled the brunette.

"I think I can forgive you." Replied Casey with a wide smile, holding her hand out she introduced herself, "Casey."

"Jenny. Can I buy you a drink? You look like you could use one."

"I'd like that, but first how about a dance?" Suggested Casey with a knowing smirk.

"Lead the way." Smiled Jenny holding her hand out allowing Casey to lead them towards the dance-floor.

Pulling the brunette so their bodies were pressed together they shared several dances, before Casey led them back to a booth and ordered them a round of drinks, after half an hour or so of small talk and several more dances, Jenny suggested they head back to her place. Agreeing Casey headed to the ladies room to freshen up, staring at her reflection in the mirror she realised she didn't want to go home with another stranger. She wanted was Alex.

Heading outside to where Jenny was waiting she took a deep breath, "I'm sorry...I can't. This isn't what I want. I'm sorry, your beautiful but I...I'm sorry. I have to go." Without waiting for a reply she left the club hailing a cab she gave her address, leaning her head back she closed her eyes and tried to unravel all the thoughts running through her mind.

Arriving home, she waved a hello to the doorman and headed for the elevator, letting herself into her apartment she dumped her purse and jacket on the coffee table before collecting a bottle of water from the fridge she headed back into her lounge, collapsing onto the couch, reaching for her phone pulling up a familiar number, as her thumb hovered above Alex's name she tried to work out what it was she wanted to say, coming up blank she re-locked her phone. Throwing phone down on the coffee table out of temptations reach and walked to the window looking out in the city she realised how lonely she felt, flicking off the light she headed to bed hoping the answer would appear in her dreams.

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Closing Casey's office door Alex suppressed the urge to bang her head against the wall, what was she thinking? She had been sure Casey liked her and now she had made a fool of herself, feeling the stares of her colleagues she squared her shoulders and rushed back to her office, bumping into Kim in her rush sending the files the brunette was carrying to the floor, "Oh God, Kim I'm so sorry. I was in a world of my own, are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Muttered Kim, bending down to pick up the spilled pages as Alex did the same banging their heads together, "You know, if this was a romantic comedy we would fall madly in love now." Smirked Kim rubbing her forehead.

"I'm sorry." Mumbled Alex a blush colouring her cheeks.

Studying the blonde Kim asked, "You okay?"

"Other that making a total idiot of myself twice in ten minutes I'm fine."

"Twice?" Asked Kim, falling into step with Alex as the blonde headed to her office.

"I asked Casey out and she flat-out turned me down, she was really nice about it, I'm just embarrassed because I thought she liked me." Explained Alex, collapsing down in her chair.

"Oh." Muttered Kim as understanding dawned, she was sure Casey liked Alex and personally she thought they would make a good couple, but Casey was so afraid of being hurt again she refused to let anyone get close.

"Oh? What do you know Greylek?" Asked Alex with a raised eye brow.

"Look Alex, I like you, but Casey is my best friend has been since we were kids so I'm not going to betray her trust. That said, I think she likes you but is afraid of getting hurt, when we were in college her girlfriend of three years broke her heart."

"Oh, I see." Replied Alex, realisation setting in.

"Alex, give her some time, be her friend and show her not everyone leaves and she'll come around."

"Thanks Kim and I really am sorry for bumping into you."

"It's fine, you can buy lunch to make it up to me."

"Done." Smiled Alex collecting her purse locking her office door the two headed for the deli opposite, through out lunch Alex peppered Kim with questions about Casey and the woman who was stupid enough to break her heart.

Arriving home that evening Alex's mind was still fixed on the redhead who had stolen her heart from the first moment she smiled at her all those weeks ago, from the moment they were introduced she had been attracted to Casey, something that had grown into more that just attraction as she got to know her. There was something about Casey that intrigued her, she had been sure Casey had felt the same, it had taken her a week to build up the courage to ask Casey out to dinner. At least now she had a better understanding of Casey's rejection, pouring a glass of wine she walked to the window and looked down on the city, she would do as Kim suggested, she could be patient and be Casey's friend and hopefully it would develop into something more, if not Casey was a good person to have as a friend. Not that she ended to give up that easily.

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Casey was up by six the following morning having spent most of the night tossing and turning finally giving up on sleep just as the sun started to come up, she wasn't meeting Olivia until that afternoon so she decided on going for a run. Pulling on her running gear she headed for the park, turning on her iPod she started running, despite the beat of the music and pounding of her feet her mind was still on Alex, she had been fighting the temptation to call Alex from the moment the blonde had left her office the day before. Slowing to a walk as her leg began to ache, she headed to a bench and took a grateful sip of water as she tried to work out the cramp in her leg, jumping when she heard someone call her name.

Alex had spent much of the night before thinking about Casey, giving up on sleep before the sun was even up she had decided on getting breakfast from her favourite diner and take a walk back through the park. As she walked she recognised the figure stretching, the tight running clothes damp with perspiration make her stomach flip, "Casey, hi."

Casey blinked owlishly, as she recognised the voice calling her name, for a moment she thought that she had willed the blonde to appear, giving her head a small shake to clear it she replied, "Are you stalking me? I'm sure we had a seminar on that."

"Busted." Grinned Alex, "I was actually on my way to grab some breakfast, if you want to join me?" Seeing hesitation in Casey's eyes she added, "Just as friends."

"I'm not exactly dressed for a civilised company."

"You look good to me. Really good." Muttered Alex with a light blush, "Come on, I'm buying and they make the best blueberry pancakes and you did say you would love me forever."

"Well in that case who am I to refuse." Smiled Casey, standing she winced as her leg gave a twinge of protest.

"You okay? Did you twist your ankle?" Asked Casey concern in her voice.

"No, it's an old injury from my college days." Replied Casey.

"A softball injury or something embarrassing?" Asked Alex as they started walking towards the diner.

"It's a long story." Replied Casey in a bitter tone.

Hearing the bitterness in Casey voice Alex muttered a quiet apology and they walked the rest of the way to the diner in silence. Upon arriving they were shown to a table overlooking the lake, it was clear Alex was a regular when the waitress and the cook greeted her by name, after placing their orders and exchanging small talk about the weather they lapsed into silence again. "If you want to leave you can, I'll have Vera wrap your food to go." Offered Alex the silence starting to get to her.

"No. I'm sorry. I...fuck." Muttered Casey running a hand through her hair.

"I didn't mean to force you into coming." Replied Alex a hint of ice creeping into her tone.

"You didn't. I...I'm an idiot." Staring out of the window she decided to take a chance. She told Alex about meeting Serena and their relationship, about college, their apartment, Serena leaving and her breaking her leg ending her softball dreams. By the time she had finished breakfast had been eaten and several cups of coffee consumed, "So that's my story. Before I met you, I was happy having one night stands, no last names and no commitment and now...now I don't know."

Reaching out Alex covered Casey's hand with her own, "Casey...you're far too good a person to never let yourself be loved again, I understand that you're afraid of being hurt again and I don't blame you, but Case, I'm not Serena."

"I know that...I'm afraid of you." Admitted Casey in a quiet voice.

"Of me?" Asked Alex with a frown.

"I'm afraid because you make me want to take a chance, to be open and that scares me."

"Casey, from the moment you smiled at me all I've wanted to do is make you smile like that again and again, you are smart, beautiful, funny and when you smile I go weak at the knees, please give me a chance, because, from the moment I met you, no one else has been worth thinking about."

Casey stared into Alex's eyes seeing nothing but sincerity in her eyes, she took a deep breath and asked, "I...I..will you have dinner with me tonight?"

"Why Miss Novak are you asking me on a date?" Asked Alex with a smile.

"I am." Grinned Casey.

"Then I would love to have dinner with you."

"Pick you up at seven?" Asked Casey.

"Perfect." Smiled Alex, paying the bill the two went their separate ways.

Arriving home Casey rang Kim for some restaurant recommendations and a stern pep talk, before booking a table in an Italian and arranging for some flowers to be delivered to the blondes apartment, the rest of the day was spent preparing for her first date in eight years. Deciding on black jeans, a jade coloured shirt and her new Rocket Dog boots, she took a long shower as she sat down to fix her hair and make up her nerves returned full force, just as she debated cancelling her phone pinged alerting her to a new text message from Alex, 'Thank you for the flowers. I'm really looking forward to tonight, thank you for giving me a chance to show you how special you are. See you at seven Alex. xx'

Sending a quick reply Casey felt her nerves settle a little and finished getting ready, at twenty to seven she slipped on her leather jacket and headed to pick Alex up for their date. Arriving at the blondes door she quickly knocked before she could change her mind, as she waited for the door to be opened she took several calming breaths. Hearing the door open she smiled up at the blonde, her eyes raking over the blondes body, her hair was loosely curled resting just below her shoulders the deep blue dress Alex was wearing clung to her curves and the heels completing her look gave her an extra inch over Casey.

"Hi." Smiled Alex.

"Hi, you look gorgeous." Smiled Casey.

"Thank you, you look beautiful, I love that shade of green on you, it really makes your eyes stand out."

Blushing at the compliment Casey replied, "We should get going we have reservations at Bella's and then if you want I thought we could check out the Grey Lady jazz bar."

"Sounds perfect." Smiled Alex, linking her arm with Casey's as they headed down to Casey's vintage Chevy, "Wow this is some car!"

"Thanks, my dads business is restoring retro cars so I grew up around them and inherited his love of them, I don't think I've ever owned anything newer than a '67 VW Beetle." Explained Casey as she held the car door open for Alex to climb in.

"It's beautiful. Did he do the work on this one?" Asked Alex after Casey pulled into traffic.

"Kind of, the shell was a graduation present and we did it up together my last summer at home and now I just tinker with it when I get the time."

"So you're good with your hands." Smiled Alex sending Casey a wink.

Rolling her eyes at the obvious innuendo in the blondes voice, conversation turned to music and movies as they drive to the restaurant. Once seated at their table Casey was relieved to find conversation flowed and found herself relaxing completely in Alex's company.

"So you and Kim have been friends a long time?" Asked Alex, as they walked the half a block to the Jazz bar, Casey's leather jacket across her shoulders.

"Since we were five and Olivia since we were teenagers." Replied Casey with a smile.

"What was Kim like as a child, somehow I can't picture her as young and carefree." Asked Alex as she linked her arm with Casey's the closeness giving her goosebumps.

"She's always been serious, I remember one year we were about nine and she came to my families lake house with us and I'm not joking she had one suitcase for clothes and stuff and another filled with books, she was not happy when my big brother threw her in the lake, book and all." Laughing she added, "I had no idea a nine year old could threaten murder in so many ways."

"Oh God and he lived?" Asked Alex, Casey's laugh making the butterflies in her stomach take flight.

"Oh she got her own back." Replied Casey opening the bar door and allowing Alex to step inside.

"Should I ask?" Asked Alex once they were settled at a table with a drink.

"She plastered his baby pictures all over our high-school and I have no idea how she got hold of them." Smirked Casey.

"I wonder." Smiled Alex, they settled into easy conversation about their childhoods as the music played. "I love this song. Dance with me?" Asked Alex as 'I put a spell on you.' Began to play.

"It would be my pleasure." Smiled Casey, standing and leading Alex to the dance-floor. Pulling Alex close they swayed to the music she felt her heart skip a beat at the feeling of Alex's body pressed tightly against her own, "You are so beautiful."

"Right back at you." Whispered Alex, before pressing her lips to Casey's in a soft kiss.

The rest of the evening had passed in the same way, they danced, talked and shared several more chaste kisses before Casey drove Alex home, where they shared a not so chaste goodnight kiss. As she climbed into bed that night Casey fell asleep with a wide smile on her face already excited for brunch with the blonde the following day, sometimes it paid to take a chance.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N; I'm so pleased you're all enjoying this! Thanks once again to Blitz for the original idea. **

The following morning Casey was woken by a light knock at her door, thinking it was Kim coming to check up on her and get the gossip on her date she shuffled towards the door in her Doctor Who pyjama pants and black wife beater, not bothering to check the peephole, she opened the door, her eyes widening when she saw Alex grinning at her.

"Hi, I know I'm a little early, I just wanted to see you. I brought breakfast." Explained Alex holding up a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries.

"Oh." Mumbled Casey as she dragged a hand through her messy hair.

"I can come back..." Offered Alex, nervously biting her lip. She knew she was far too early for their brunch date, she was just excited to spend more time with Casey, but now she becoming worried by the redheads silence.

"No don't go!" Dragging a hand through her hair, Casey gave Alex a sheepish smile, "Can we try that again? I'm not quiet awake." Seeing Alex nod she leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to Alex's cheek, "Good morning Beautiful."

"Good morning." Replied Alex, relief clear in her voice.

Taking the blondes hand she led her to the couch, "Come in and make yourself at home, I'll just go and freshen up."

"Don't change on my account, I think you look...cute." Smiled Alex.

"Cute?" Asked Casey with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, cute." Smiled Alex, tugging on Casey's hand so the redhead was next to her on the couch, pressing a kiss to the top of Casey's nose, "So." Kiss. "Very." Kiss. "Very." Kiss. "Cute." The last kiss was pressed to her lips.

"Well thank you." Blushed Casey, "Just give me five minutes to brush my teeth and I'm all yours."

"I like the sound of that." Smiled Alex.

Ten minutes and several toe curling kisses later the two were sharing breakfast and making plans for the day, "What would you like to do today?" Asked Alex.

"What about if we just go for a drive and find somewhere for lunch?" Suggested Casey.

"Only if we can take your truck." Grinned Alex.

"Anything for you." Replied Casey with a bow.

Finishing their breakfast Casey collected her keys and purse and the two headed down to Casey's truck, just as she was opening the door for Alex, Jason and Jenna her neighbours twin grandchild came bounding across, "Casey."

"Hi Munchkin one and two." Turning to greet them Casey had a wide smile on her face as she introduced Alex, "This is my friend Alex. Alex this is Jason and Jenna."

"Hi." Smiled Alex.

"Hi." Smiled the young children sending Alex a wave.

"Do you play softball like Casey?" Asked Jason.

"No, I've never played." Smiled Alex.

"She's the bestest coach ever. We've won five games in a row." Explained Jenna.

"You coach little league?" Asked Alex sending Casey a warm smile.

"I do and these are two of my best players." Replied Casey as she ruffled Jason and Jenna's hair.

"And she drives the coolest truck!" Enthused Jason.

Spending ten minutes chatting with the children, Casey finally climbed behind the wheel and pulled into the traffic, "Sorry about the delay."

"Don't be, you just turned your cute in to smoking hot." Grinned Alex.

"Oh really?" Asked Casey

"Yep. Good with kids, smart, good with your hands and beautiful, I'm very lucky." Smiled Alex.

"I know." Smirked Casey, pushing her sunglasses down as they reached the freeway.

Rolling her eyes Alex pushed her own sunglasses on and enjoyed the summer breeze blowing through the open windows. Arriving at Coney Island Alex's heart skipped a beat when Casey joined their hands as they wandered among the crowd enjoying a warm summer day, after riding the ghost train, Casey won Alex a large green monkey and they spent the rest of the afternoon playing in the arcades and eating junk food.  
>Arriving back at her apartment that evening Casey walked her to the door, she was reluctant for the evening to end, "I had a great time today and last night."<p>

"Me too." Smiled Casey.

"Do you want to come in for a cup of tea?"

"I...its late..." Stuttered Casey.

"It's just tea. I'm not going to chain you to the bed and keep you as my sex slave." Replied Alex as she rolled her eyes.

"Then I'm defiantly not coming in." Replied Casey, smirking when Alex flushed a deep shade of red.

"Jerk." Mumbled Alex as she unlocked the door and let the way inside, depositing her monkey and jacket in the arm chair she headed for the kitchen, flicking on the kettle she smiled when she felt Casey step behind her and wrap her arms around her waist, pressing soft kiss to her cheek, "Can I help?"

"I got lonely." Replied Casey with a shrug.

Turning in Casey embrace, Alex claimed her lips in a slow kiss, as the kiss ended she rested their foreheads together, "I don't want to rush anything with you."

"I agree." Whispered Casey, stealing another kiss before stepping away so Alex could make the tea.

They were soon curled up on the couch, soft jazz providing the soundtrack for their conversation and make out session. Feeling Casey pull away, Alex blurted out, "Stay."

"Al..."

"To sleep, just sleep. I just want to fall asleep with you. I have a new toothbrush you can have and I'm sure I can find you something to sleep in, other than my arms." Explained Alex.

"That sounds nice." Smiled Casey, "Even the cheesy bit at the end."

Half an hour later Alex crawled under the covers, smiling as Casey pulled her close, "This is nice."

"Very nice, even if it is only just nine thirty." Replied Casey with a small chuckle.

"Oh God is it really?"

"Yep, you were in such a rush to get me into your bed..." She broke off as Alex launched a tickle attack, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Laughed Casey.

"Then be nice." Warned Alex, with a mock glare.

"Yes ma'am." Smirked Casey, pulling Alex down so her head was resting on Casey's chest.

"Did you want to watch a movie?" Asked Alex after a few minutes of silence.

"I'm happy just laying here with you." Replied Casey, stoking a hand through Alex's hair.

"Me too." Mumbled Alex, giving a small yawn.  
>Alex was the first to wake up the following morning, she took advantage of the ten minutes before the alarm was due to go off to study the still slumbering redhead, they had talked until the early hours of the morning before falling asleep in a tangle of limbs. Looking down at Casey, who even in sleep had her arm wrapped securely around her, she knew she could fall for her. If she was honest with herself, she already had.<p>

"I can hear you thinking." Muttered Casey, squinting up at Alex.

"Could not."

"Could too." Smiled Casey, pulling Alex in for a gentle kiss, "Good morning."

"Good morning." Pressing Casey back against the pillows and claiming her lips in a deep kiss, that ended when the alarm blared forcing them out from under the blankets and into the kitchen for coffee and toasted bagels.

Finishing breakfast Casey picked up her car keys and phone, "I should head home and get ready for work, I don't think Branch will approve of this look." Indicating her jeans and Yale t-shirt she had borrowed from Alex.

"I think you look very sexy in my shirt." Replied Alex walking Casey to the door, sharing a warm kiss they said their goodbyes and arranged to have lunch later that day, their case loads willing.

They following weeks fell into a similar pattern, they would spend their weekends together, visiting museums, going to the cinema or just relaxing at one of their apartments watching movies, or weekends making love. They would meet for lunch whenever their schedules allowed and often shared dinner after work. Alex becoming a regular fixture at Casey's little league games and Casey had even let her help with some of the restoration work on her truck.  
>It had been just over three months since that had started dating and Casey knew she was in love with Alex she just hadn't told her yet, she wasn't sure what was holding her back, she was sure Alex felt the same and as she put the finishing touches to dinner she was making in celebration of a large case Alex had won, she decided she was going to tell the blonde how she felt.<p>

After dinner they were curled up on Casey's couch, each nursing a glass of wine, when Alex broke the content silence that had fallen, "So, my parents are flying in from London next weekend and they want to meet you, I was thinking we could take them to lunch..." Seeing the look on Casey's face she sighed and added, "Or not."

"It's not that I don't want to it's just..."

"Just what?" Demanded Alex.

"Don't you think it's a bit quick?" Asked Casey.

"Three months is a 'bit quick'?" Asked Alex with a laugh.

"I'm just saying..." Started Casey.

"Forget it!" Snapped Alex, picking up her jacket and purse she headed towards the door.

"Alex, where are you going?" Asked Casey struggling to get her shoes on so she could follow the after the blonde who had just fled through the door. She reached the lobby just as Alex pushed through the main door heading to the street. "Alex come back. Please, we can talk about this." Called Casey, almost tripping over the blonde when she suddenly stopped.

"I'M NOT SERENA!" Yelled Alex turning to face Casey, who took half a step backwards.

Frowning Casey replied, "I never said you were."

"It's not what you said, it's how you treat me! You won't leave anything at my apartment, I can't leave anything at yours, you won't meet my family or introduce me to yours." Using her fingers to make air quotes she carried on, "You introduce me as your 'friend'. So which is it, are you ashamed of me or so damn afraid I'm going to leave you, that you won't give us a chance, a chance to be something real?"

"Alex..."

"No! No this is it. Casey, I...I love you but I can't be your second choice, I deserve better than that. I can't be in a relationship with someone who constantly has one foot out of the door."

"You love me?" Asked Casey a wide smile on her face.

"Yes, yes I love you. I love the way you always give me your jacket when I'm cold and always open the car door for me, any door really. I love the way you yell at the TV when the sport is on as if you can change the outcome, I love that you read comic books, drive an old truck, the way you smile when I kiss you and your little court room superstitions. I want to be with you, I want a future with you, I want you to coach our children at little league. So yes I love you, but I can do that if you keep comparing me to Serena..."

"Alex..."

"...I'm not her, I'm not going to leave you..."

"ALEX!" Yelled Casey, succeeding in halting the blondes rambling.

"Don't yell at me!"

"Then shut up!" Replied Casey taking a step forward so they were occupying the same space.

"Excuse me!" Demanded Alex.

Bringing her hand up so it was cupping Alex's cheek Casey repeated, "Shut up. You're right I've been an idiot, I never meant to make you feel as if I was half way out of the door. The truth is I love you, I'm in love with you and just having you in my life makes me happier than I can say." Dipping her head she pressed their lips together in a slow kiss, full of the love they had just professed.

"Take me home." Whispered Alex as the kiss ended.

"My pleasure." Smiled Casey, taking Alex's hand she pressed a kiss to the back of it before they headed back into her apartment building.

Reaching her door, Casey's attempt at getting the door unlocked was hampered by the kisses Alex was pressing to the back of her neck, dropping the keys she turned and pressed Alex to the closed door claiming her lips in a blistering kiss. Moaning as Alex swapped their position pushing Casey up against the door, "We should go inside." Panted Casey.

"I agree, so hurry up and open the door, I want you." Growled Alex.

Looking into Alex's eyes dark with desire Casey had to swallow several times before she could get her body to work, "Yes ma'am."

She managed to get the door opened on the second attempt, only to find herself slammed back against the wall as Alex attacked her lips and neck with kisses and light nips, "Oh God."

"Say it again." Ordered Alex as she bit down on Casey's pulse point.

"I love you. I love you." Moaned Casey her legs turning to jelly at the feeling of Alex's mouth on her burning skin.

Growling in response Alex leaned back and pulled Casey's shirt over her head before resuming her attention to Casey's mouth. Pushing the straps of Casey's bra down she brought her mouth to a straining nipple, nipping it between her teeth making Casey hiss before soothing it with the flat of her tongue. Making sure to keep Casey pressed against the wall, she switched her attention to the other nipple, her nails scraping lightly along Casey's ribs.

Feeling Alex's dominance Casey felt as if she was on fire, she was so used to being in control of their love-making she found herself aching to feel the blondes hands and mouth on her where on her body. Bucking against her lover attempting to get some release, she gasped when she felt Alex nip the skin of her throat hard enough that there would be a mark there tomorrow, not that she could bring herself to care.

"You're so beautiful, I can't wait to touch you." Whispered Alex, once again claiming Casey's lips in a soft kiss as she took Casey by the hand and led her towards the bedroom.

Once in their bedroom she tenderly removed the last of Casey's clothes, once they were both naked she pressed laid them on the bed, moaning softly as their bodies pressed flesh together, "You are so beautiful and all mine. You are mine, aren't you?"

"Yes, I'm yours." Replied Casey, her breath catching at the love in Alex's eyes.  
>Revisiting Alex's attempt to flip them over she whispered, "I love you Casey, let me show you. Let yourself be vulnerable, I will never hurt you." Seeing Casey nod, she leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips as she spread Casey's legs, moaning as she felt her lovers excitement against her thigh. Breaking the kiss she raised her head and ordered, "Open your eyes."<p>

Forcing her eyes open Casey moaned and arched up off the bed as the blonde entered her, "Oh God Alex."

Making sure to keep her movements slow and steady, Alex whispered, "Let go, I've got you." As she curled her fingers, bringing Casey to her first climax. "You're mine never forget that, never forget how much I love you."

Not giving Casey chance to reply or fully recover from her first orgasm Alex kissed her way down her stomach and ran her tongue through the waiting wetness, moaning at the taste of Casey. Feeling Casey arch up from the bed she pressed her hand to the bottom of Casey's stomach to stop her moving, she lightly grazed Casey's clit with her teeth before running the tip of her tongue around it and sucking it into her mouth.

"Yes...God...Yes...Oh Alex." Moaned Casey.

Feeling Casey's orgasm approaching Alex entered her once again, faster than before, the added sensation causing Casey to cum harder than the first time. Kissing her way up her panting lover, Alex placed gentle kisses on the marks she had made whilst they were making love before placing a gentle kiss on Casey's lips.

"That was! Wow!" Mumbled Casey, flipping them over so she was above the blonde, Casey claimed Alex's lips in a soft kiss, "I love you and now it's my turn to show you." Leaning up on one elbow Casey trailed her fingertips across Alex's pale breasts, marvelling as the dusky nipples hardened further under her touch. "Beautiful, so beautiful." Leaning down she replaced her finger tips with her lips, flicking the hard buds with her tongue causing Alex to moan and arch up into her.

"Please Casey, touch me." Whined the blonde "I'm so close."

As Casey started to kiss her way down her lovers body she felt a tug on her hair, "Together, I want us to come together." Whispered Alex.

Nodding Casey positioned herself above the blonde, running her fingers through the Alex's wet folds Casey whimpered as she entered the blonde with two fingers, Alex mirroring her actions. Rocking their bodies together it didn't take long for them both to come screaming the others name.

Slumping down next to Alex, Casey pulled her close, "I love you Alex, thank you for being patient with me, I know it hasn't been fair on you and I'll make it up to you."

"There's nothing to make up, just promise to let me in. I love you Casey." Yawning she pressed a kiss to Casey's temple and the two soon drifted off to sleep.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/  
>Standing in the street opposite Casey's apartment, Serena tucked the piece of paper into her back pocket and took a deep breath, just as she was about to cross the road she saw Casey and a pretty blonde leave the building. Their hands joined as they laughed at something she couldn't hear. Stepping back she watched as they walked to an old truck and Casey pinned the blonde against it sharing a warm kiss, so wrapped up in each other they didn't notice the looks of passers by or the blonde watching them from across the street.<p> 


	6. Chapter 6

Serena stood in the street long after Casey's truck had disappeared, a fierce jealousy that she knew she had no right to feel pulsing through her body, part of her wanted to go and sit outside Casey's door until she returned, to hell with the other woman, but the rational part of her knew that wouldn't help her case. She should have known Casey would have moved on, she deserved to be happy, but a part of her had always thought she would return and they would pick up where they left off. A stupid fantasy that she had clung to from the moment she left, as the rain started to fall she hailed a cab, giving her address, she leaned back in the seat and closed her eyes in an attempt to hold back her tears.

She remembered the first time night they had spent in their apartment, despite how cold it was in the apartment she was happier than she had ever been, they were both so excited they would be living together, not having to worry about being interrupted or having to spend nights apart. As they curled up under the blanket Kim and Olivia had given them as a house-warming present, feeding each other pizza, Serena had been so happy, she was sure nothing would come between them and then her letter from Oxford had arrived. She had dreamed of following in her father's footsteps and studying in England since she was five, growing up her walls had been covered in pictures and memorabilia from Oxford. When she first applied she and Casey hadn't even started dating and in the excitement of a new relationship and starting college she forgot about it, sure she hadn't got in. When her letter arrived she wanted to tell Casey but she had been so afraid. She was afraid Casey wouldn't understand the opportunity, she had always been more laid back about her studies than Serena. She was afraid if Casey made her choose she would choose Casey and come to resent her for it or that Casey would insist on going with her and then she would come to resent her for it, so she decided to just leave, she thought it would be easier that saying goodbye in person.

She knew she was a coward for leaving without even talking to Casey but at the time she had been so sure she was doing the right thing for both of them that she convinced herself Casey would be wait for her. She hadn't realised she was crying until the driver spoke, "You okay love?"

Wiping the tears on her cheeks, Serena gave a weak smile, "I'm fine. Thank you."

"I'm sure he's not worth your tears." Replied the cabbie with a wink.

"Actually, she is worth the moon and the stars, I'm the one who...I ruined everything." Muttered Serena staring out of the window.

"If it's meant to be it'll all work out in the end, a pretty girl like you won't be alone for long. Here we go."

Paying the cabbie and adding a generous tip, Serena headed inside to her apartment, making a cup of tea she curled up on the couch the letter from Casey still on the coffee table,

_'Serena,_

_I don't know if you will ever read this, if it will make any difference but I had to tell you how I felt. I want to be angry, I want to hate you for breaking my heart like this, but I can't because I love you, I have loved you from the first time I saw you smile. Maybe the anger will come later, but I will never hate you. I could never hate you, you made me a better person and showed me I could be anything I want. I won't pretend I understand why you left without even talking to me and that it hasn't broken my heart but I hope one day you will come back and explain it to me. As I sit in what was once our home I know I can't stay here, I can't look at the couch without picturing the rainy Sunday's curled up watching movies, I can't shower without remembering the mornings we made love in there and I can't sleep in the bed we shared, where we swapped secretes, told each other our dreams, planned our future and made love. I miss you and I will love you for the rest of my life, time and distance won't change that. I hope you are happy in England and it is everything you hoped it would be._

_All my love,_

_Casey. Xx'_

Wiping her tears Serena walked to the window her mind still on the past, when she had visited for Christmas the first year, her father had told her about Casey's accident and like a coward she had hidden, kept her distance when she should have explained her actions and begged for forgiveness. As more time passed it became harder and harder to contact Casey, she had a box full of unsent letters, folders full of unsent emails and a thousand speeches planned out in her mind. She had kept tabs on Casey's career and knew she worked for the district attorney's office, so when a job opened up she jumped at the chance to interview. When she got the job she was filled with a million different emotions, on one hand it was a great job and meant she would be in the same office as Casey on the other hand she would have to face Casey and actually have the conversations she had planned out in her head.

She had been in New York a month and had managed to get Casey's address from an old friend in the DMV and had finally plucked up the courage to go and see her only for her dreams to shatter. She hadn't expected to she Casey with another woman, she certainly hadn't expected it to hurt as much as it did, it wasn't as if she had been celibate since she left so why would Casey have been. She wanted Casey back and intended to do anything to make that happen, this other woman was just a distraction and once Casey realised she was back everything would be okay, it had to be okay, they were meant to be together.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Monday morning Casey was running late, having spent the night before at Alex's apartment she had then had to head home in rush hour traffic to change before driving to the office, her new second chair was starting that day so she wasn't in court. Stepping off the elevator her mind was running over all the things she needed to do that day as she juggled her briefcase, laptop bag and coffee cup.

"Don't you answer your phone?" Hissed Kim as she rushed up to Casey.

"Sorry, I forgot to charge it last night, what's up?" Asked Casey as she tried to find the key need to open her office door without spilling her much needed coffee.

"I've been trying to call because..."

"She was probably trying to warn you about me." Added a new voice.

Turning around Casey's eyes went wide as she stared at the woman who had broken her heart, a torrent of emotions rushing through her as she tried to process what she was really seeing. She was snapped from her daze by the sound of her coffee hitting the floor, splashing the warm liquid over her shoes, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm your new second chair." Replied Serena with a hesitant smile.

"To hell you are!" Snapped Casey, turning her back she opened her office door throwing her stuff down with more force than was needed she turned and marched past Kim and Serena without a word.

"She looks good." Mumbled Serena as she stared after Casey.

Watching her friends retreating back, Kim could see the anger in her posture. "What the hell Serena? You broke her heart, you left without a word, none of us have heard from you since you left and now your back. What did you expect to happen?"

"I-I don't know, I though she would at least speak to me." Replied the blonde, she hadn't meant to ambush Casey like that but it was done and she couldn't change it.

"After the crap you pulled, you're lucky she didn't slap you." Replied Kim, bending down to pick up Casey's dropped coffee cup before it could spill further and stain her shoes.

"I made a mistake, I was young and stupid. I'm here to make it right, I have always loved her and I want her back." Replied Serena.

"She's moved on and she's finally happy. Just do your job and leave her alone." Replied Kim with a harsh glare.

"I'm not going to do that, if there is a chance she will take me back I'm going to take it." Replied Serena not backing down.

"If you hurt her again you'll regret it. It took her a long time to move on, to let someone in and finally she's happy, if you think anything of her you'll leave her alone." Replied Kim, heading in search of her friend.

Finding Casey standing out Liz's office she was relieved Liz was out of the office for the week, hopefully it would give Casey a chance to calm down before speaking to her boss. Walking over she placed a comforting hand on Casey's shoulder giving a sad sigh when she felt her friend shaking. "She's out of the office this week, some conference in DC.

"Oh." Replied Casey still staring at the door.

"Why don't you go and see Alex, she's stuck in her office doing paperwork all day." Suggested Kim.

"Why did she come back? Why now?" Asked Casey.

"Case..."

"I want to hate her. Why don't I?" Asked Casey a hint of desperation in her voice as she tried to process all the emotions swirling through her mind.

"Because she was your first love and that's not something that ever really goes away, just because she will always occupy a small spot in your heart that doesn't mean you love Alex less."

"I know, it just...it just knocked the wind out of me." Replied Casey.

"I'm here for you, anytime you need to talk. You know that, right?" Asked Kim.

"Thank you." Replied Casey, sending her friend a grateful smiled before heading towards Alex's office, craving the feel of her lovers embrace.

Alex looked up as her office door was opened and a pale Casey walked in, "Casey? Hey, you okay?"

Sending Alex a small smile Casey closed the door behind her and leaned her back against it with her eyes closed, "I..No."

Standing up Alex walked across the room and took Casey's hand leading her to the couch, turning so she was facing her she tilted her head and asked, "Talk to me? Please."

Taking a shuddering breath Casey replied, "My new second chair started today."

"Okay?" Asked Alex with a small frown.

"It's Serena Southerlyn." Blurted Casey.

"Serena as in..."

"The woman who broke my heart? The one and same." Replied Casey with a bitter laugh.

"Oh." Muttered Alex, a sense of fear creeping into her heart.

Casey watched as Alex processed the information, she could almost hear Alex putting up her walls. "No! Don't do that."

"Do what?"

"Put up a wall. Alex, I love you, I am in love with you and that's not going to change just because Serena is back. You are not, nor ever will be my second choice. I'm the months we have been together and even before, you have shown me nothing but love, kindness and compassion. Yes, seeing Serena shook me up and yes she will forever hold some place in my heart because she was my first kiss, my first lover, my first love, but you are the only woman I want."

"Thank you." Whispered Alex.

"Anytime. I love you." Replied Casey pulling Alex close they shared a soft kiss, "I have to go speak to her, don't I?"

"I think so, just know I'm here for you and tonight I'll make you dinner and we can just spend the evening relaxing."

"Sounds good to me, although I need to go home first, pick up some clothes for tomorrow. This driving across town thing is getting old. Especially as it means less time with my girlfriend." Grinned Casey.

"I think I can find some closet space to accommodate you." Smiled Alex, pecking Casey on the lips again.

Spending another half an hour with Alex, Casey headed back to her office, asking her secretary to send Serena to her office. Whilst she waited for the blonde to arrive she walked to the window and tried to organise her thoughts, the office wasn't the ideal place for this conversation, but if they were going to be working together then they had to have some semblance of a relationship. Hearing a timid knock on the door she took a deep breath and turned to face Serena for the second time that day, hating the way it made her heart skip a beat.

"Hi, you wanted to see me." Asked the nervous blonde.

"Yeah, I'll make this quick, I'm sure you have lots to do. We have to work together, that means we have to be polite and professional. What happened between us in the past stays there, I've moved on and have a great relationship. I don't know what your situation is and frankly I don't care, personal stays outside, in here we are colleagues nothing more."

"Casey...that's not realistic. We have a history and that isn't going to go away just because you want it to. I hurt you and I'm sorry, I was sorry the moment I left. The only reason I came back was for you."

"Well that's too bad. I love Alex and you being back isn't going to change that, if you can't handle just being colleagues, then you should leave."

"No. I'm not going anywhere. I still love you and I know you still love me..."

"No!" Snapped Casey. Taking a deep breath she ran a hand through her hair and tried to control her temper, "No, Serena I don't still love you, I haven't for a long time."

"You can deny it all you want, but I still love you."

"Serena, you don't just up and leave people you 'love'. You left without even telling me you were leavening, without giving me a chance to fight for us, I know you visited your parents and you never once called, emailed of visited me in all these years. You broke my heart, and it took me a long time to get over it and to let someone new in, I finally have and there is nothing you can do or say that will change that." Taking another deep breath she carried on, "So I'll ask you once more, can you leave the past where it is and work with me?"

"Casey...sure." Replied Serena.

"Good. These are our open cases spend the next couple of days going over them and familiarising yourself with them, if you have any questions just ask."

Standing to leave, Serena paused at the door, "I have a question."

"Go on."

"Are you happy?" Asked Serena.

Considering the question for a minute or so Casey nodded, "Yeah, yeah I actually am. I hope you are too, Serena, I don't hate you and I hope we can work together and maybe someday be friends, but that's all we will ever be."

"Good." Whispered Serena. Walking back to her own office Serena locked the door behind her and slumped down in her seat putting her head in her hands. Maybe she should give in her notice and leave, if Casey didn't want her she didn't know if she could take seeing her everyday knowing what she had thrown away. No, Casey just needed some time to get over the shock of seeing her, she was sure that Casey still loved her. She just had to show Casey she was the person she was meant to be with and she would start by being her friend, with that in mind she pulled the first folder towards her and stared to read.


	7. Chapter 7

Two weeks had passed since Serena had started working at the DA's office, in that time she had ben nothing but professional around Casey, diligently working their cases, never bringing up the past or making an effort to engage Casey outside of the office. Despite that Alex still didn't trust her and had made a point of avoiding her around the office, whilst keeping an eye on her from afar, she had asked around about the blonde and had to admit she was impressed with what she had heard and could see why Casey had once loved her.

Since the night they had declared their love for each other her relationship with Casey continued to grow, Casey had met her parents the previous weekend and as Alex knew she would Casey charmed them before they had ordered desert. They spent most nights together, mostly at her apartment as it was closer to work, allowing them more time in bed, something she was grateful for as their nights were generally filled with love making and late night conversations. Her closet now holding a mix of her clothes and as well as things Casey left there whenever she stayed, including her softball uniform a sight that never failed to make Alex smile.

She hadn't seen much of Casey all week, they were both in the mist of big cases and had either worked late or been too tired to do more than go home take a bath and go to bed. She had rested her case that afternoon and given the evidence the jury had to examine wasn't expecting a verdict until Monday, meaning she could go home and get ready for the charity auction Casey's softball team had put together. Knowing Casey would still be in court she sent her a message arranging to pick her up at seven so they could travel to the bar together, she collected her purse and briefcase she headed out of her office.

Seeing the elevator doors start to close she called out, "Hold the elevator." And rushed to step on board, "Thanks."

"Your welcome." Replied the other woman.

Recognising the voice Alex looked up sending Serena Southerlyn a small smile, holding her hand out she introduced herself. "Hi, we haven't been formally introduced. I'm Alexandra Cabot, the ADA for Special Victims and Casey's girlfriend."

"Well, she sure has a type." Replied Serena ignoring Alex's put stretched hand as she looked the blonde up and down.

Alex tried not to let her irritation at the shorter woman's words show, "We might both be blonde, but that's where the similarities end. I would never be stupid enough to walk away from someone as amazing as Casey."

"You do know you're just a distraction? A way to scratch an itch. She loves me and she will always come back to me." Replied Serena, stepping out of the elevator with a smirk and a wave.

Alex was still staring at the closed doors when the elevator pinged again announcing she had reached the car park, just as she was about to step off the elevator Casey stepped on a wide smile creeping across her face at the sight of Alex, "Hi Beautiful."

"Shouldn't you be in court?" Asked Alex marching passed Casey.

"We made a deal." Replied Casey with a small frown as she asked, "Alex, what's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'll see you later." Replied Alex, walking towards her car she knew she shouldn't have snapped at Casey it wasn't her fault Serena riled her up, unlocking her car she intended to throw her briefcase in the trunk before going and apologising to her girlfriend. Reaching her car, she felt even worse when she saw a red rose on her windshield a small envelope attached to it. 'You're a complete ass Alex Cabot and Casey deserves better.' Muttered Alex jumping when she heard a familiar throaty chuckle behind her.

"You have a fine ass, in fact it looks a little lonely without my hand on it." Grinned Casey, resting her briefcase on the bonnet of the blondes car, as she pulled her lover close, "You want to tell me what's got you so pissed?"

"I...I ran into Serena and she said I was just a way for you to scratch an itch." Admitted Alex hanging her head at the admission.

"You want me to kick her ass?" Asked Casey, using her fingertips to raise Alex's head.

"No, I shouldn't have let her get to me." Replied Alex burying her head in Casey's jacket.

"Alex, you have to know how much I love you."

"I do, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just over tired and she caught me at a bad time."

"Well go home and get a nap, I need you sharp later, I'll pick you up at six, we can get something to eat first." Smiled Casey.

"Or you could pick something up on your way over and we can have a long overdue make out session?" Bargained Alex.

"Deal." Smiled Casey, as she reached for the rose, "Here."

"What's this?" Asked Alex.

"An invitation to my parent's wedding anniversary party, they want to meet you, make sure you're up to Novak standard." Teased Casey.

"Oh really?" Asked Alex, knowing it was a big deal for Casey to introduce her to her parents.

"No, they already think you're good for me." Smiled Casey.

"Well in that case, I would love to attend with you."

"Good, now go home and get some rest, I'll see you soon." Sharing another chaste kiss, Casey waved Alex off and headed towards Serena's office. Walking in without knocking, she gave an internal cheer when Serena jumped, "An itch to scratch?"

"I-I...I know I was rude I didn't mean to be, I just...I got jealous."

"You left me and it broke me! For years I didn't let anyone get close to me, I had one night stands, no names and no commitments and then Alex came along and she fixed what you broke. She isn't a fling, she isn't my second choice and she isn't just a distraction to fill my time until you clicked your fingers and expected me to come running back." Leaning on the desk she added, "I won't say this again. We. Are. Done."

"No we're not!" Replied Serena standing so she was facing Casey, "You have all but ignored me since I got back, you know you still love me and that frightens you."

"You're right, I do still love you a part of me always will but I am not in love with you. If you can't handle that, then leave. It's what your good at." Snapped Casey, turning Casey walked out of the blondes office slamming the door behind her.

Deciding she was too angry to work, Casey headed down to her truck and drove to Alex's apartment, using the key the blonde had given her she let herself in, hearing the shower running she stripped off and stepped in behind the blonde, pulling her close.  
>"I hope you're my girlfriend, if not you should get out, she gets jealous." Smiled Alex as she leaned back into Casey's embrace, moaning as she felt Casey's mouth on her throat.<p>

"I am defiantly your girlfriend. Don't you forget it." Growled Casey as she sucked at the skin on Alex's neck hard enough to leave a mark.

"Oh God." Muttered Alex as she felt a gush of wetness between her legs.

Reaching around Casey cupped Alex's breast pinching her nipples between her finger and thumb, feeling Alex press back against her she husked, "I want you." Turning Alex around she claimed her lips in a bruising kiss. Pressing Alex back against the wall of the shower with a soft thump, lifting one of Alex's leg to wrap around her waist, moaning as she felt Alex's excitement against her skin.

"I'm yours." Whispered Alex, her hands fisting in Casey's hair as she felt Casey's nails scrape across her stomach and slip between her legs. As Casey's fingers brushed against her hard clit she gave a loud moan, "I'm so close don't tease me."

Without a word, Casey entered Alex, making the blonde moan and dig her nails into her shoulder, silently urging Casey to keep going, "So wet." Muttered Casey as she added another finger.

"For you. Yes. God yes." Panted Alex, moving her hands to Casey's breasts she moaned as Casey stilled her movements and pinned her hands above her head.

"No touching." Growled Casey, seeing Alex nod she ordered, "Turn around." Once Alex had her back to her Casey moved her hair to one side and started kissing her neck whist spreading her legs with her thigh, "Keep your hands on the wall."

Unable to speak Alex nodded, gasping as she felt Casey drag her fingers across her clit,making her knee's shake, "Please Casey."

Smirking at the desperation in her lover's voice, Casey softly circled her clit with the tip of her finger, increasing the speed as Alex's moans got louder. Using her other hand she entered Alex making her gasp at the feeling of fullness, giving her a second to adjust to the feeling she began to a steady rhythm. Feeling Alex's legs start to shake she lent closer and whispered, "Cum for me."

"Oh God." Moaned Alex as the force of her orgasm sent her to her knee's.

Helping the blonde to her feet Casey pulled her close sharing a soft kiss as they stood under the cool spray, quickly finishing their shower they headed to the bedroom, taking a nap before getting ready for the charity auction that evening.

Arriving at the bar Alex went to join Kim and some of the SVU squad at a table whilst Casey joined the rest of her team being 'auctioned off'. First up was Fin, who went for a respectable Hundred dollars to Melinda, Elliot was up next earning a modest seventy-five dollars, the Captain winning the bidding and planning on making Elliot do all the outstanding budget reports much to the amusement of his wife and squad mates. Olivia was up next, Kim's refusal to bid because Liv had forgotten their date night, meant Elliot won the bidding against Bab's Duffy at a cool hundred and twenty-five dollars, declaring Olivia would be doing his paperwork and bringing him coffee for the month.

Casey as team Captain was last up, as she stepped onto the stage Munch, who was acting as MC for the event gave her introduction, "Last but certainly not least we have the delectable Casey Novak. Now, Casey here is the Captain and leads the pack in home runs, she's also an attorney but we can't hold that against her, she's one of the good guys. Let's start the bidding at Thirty dollars."

"Thirty." Agreed Alex.

"Fifty." Called a voice from the bar.

Seeing the voice belonged to Serena, Alex upped her bid. "Seventy five."

"One fifty." Called Serena.

"Oh a bidding war, how exciting." Crowed Munch as Casey flushed a deep shade of red.

"Two hundred." Called Alex glaring at Serena.

"Two fifty." Replied Serena with a smirk.

"Two seventy-five." Called Alex.

"Three hundred." Replied Serena.

"Five hundred dollars." Called Alex, smirking when she saw Serena hesitate.

"Five hundred dollars, going once, twice..." Started Munch.

"Six hundred." Calle Serena.

"Seven." Called Alex, her voice carrying in the silence that had fallen throughout the bar.

"Eight." Challenged Serena, her eyes locked with Alex's.

"One thousand." Replied Alex, with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

Looking between the two Casey hissed at "Wrap it up at Munch." Who she felt was enjoying himself far too much.

"One thousand dollars, going once, going twice, sold to Miss Cabot. Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen, please give your cheques to me and arrange with your prize how you intend to collect and try to keep it reasonably clean, I'm talking to you Cabot."

Arriving back at Alex's apartment that night Casey was worried by how quiet her girlfriend had been on the cab ride home, just as she was about to ask if everything was okay Alex pulled her close pressing a hard kiss to her mouth and Growled, "I intend to claim my prize. I'm going to freshen up and when I come back I expect you to be naked and on the bed. Understand?"

Unable to get her voice to work Casey nodded and followed Alex towards the bedroom, hearing the bathroom door close she quickly stripped off and say back against the pillows. As she waited for Alex to return, she mused on the fact she had thought she would be nervous and feel exposed in this situation, but her trust of Alex and the heat already building in her stomach outweighed her nervousness. As the bathroom door opened Casey felt her breath catch in her throat at the sight of a naked Alex walking towards her a wide smirk on her face.

"You are mine tonight, understand?" Asked Alex as she joined Casey on the bed.

"Y-yes." Muttered Casey moaning as Alex

"That means, no touching me, unless I say it's okay. No touching yourself, unless I say it's okay. Understand?" Unable to form a coherent response Casey nodded, "Good." Smiled Alex, leaning forward she captured Casey's lips in a soft kiss. Moving so she was straddling the top of Casey's tights she guided her hands towards the headboard and ordered, "Don't move your hands from there until I say."

Seeing Casey nod Alex smiled and began pressing a trial of kisses and small nips along Casey's jaw and throat, biting down hard enough to leave a mark she smirked as Casey arched up from the bed pressing against her in an attempt to gain some relief, "Do you like that?" Feeling Casey nod she shook her head, "You have to tell me. Do you like it? Do you like the feeling of my mouth on you?"

"Y-yes." Panted Casey.

"Yes what?" Asked Alex as she brought her mouth to an already stuff nipple dragging her teeth across it before taking it in her mouth, nipping it slightly harder she asked, "Yes what?"

"I-I like your mouth on me." Whimpered Casey as Alex once again took her nipple in her mouth, teasing it with her tongue before kissing across to the other stuff bud.

Pulling back she moved to between Casey's legs pushing them apart, the sight of Casey's excitement making her stomach flip. "Show me?" Ordered Alex, "Show me how you want to be touched." Moving so she had a perfect view she watched as Casey pinched her nipples and trailed her right hand down to between her legs.

"Oh God." Muttered Casey.

"Tell me." Ordered Alex, her breathing not as calm as she would like, but she couldn't blame herself for being overly excited, as she watched Casey pleasuring herself.

"Wet, so wet." Panted Casey, her fingers circling her clit at speed.  
>"Who are you wet for." Asked Alex.<p>

"You. Just you." Panted Casey, her back arching as her orgasm approached.

"Stop." Ordered Alex, lightly gripping Casey's wrist to halt her movements, making Casey whimper in frustration.

"Please. So close." Panted Casey.

"Soon." Whispered Alex putting Casey's wet fingers in her mouth, moaning at the taste of her lovers excitement.

"Oh God Alex." Moaned Casey, the feeling of Alex's hot mouth on her fingers was enough to trigger Casey's orgasm.

"You taste so good." Whispered Alex, moving so she was kneeling between Casey's legs, she lifted them over her shoulders. Swiping her tongue through her lovers wet folds, she moaning at the taste, "So. Fucking. Good." Husked Alex as she lowered her head and repeated the motion several times.

"Yes, Alex, yes." Moaned Casey as Alex began to work her clit with her tongue, making sure to bring her to the edge before pulling back causing her to growl in disappointment. "Please Alex!"

"Please what?" Asked Alex as she kissed the sensitive skin on the inside of Casey's thigh's.

"Make me cum. Please Alex." Begged Casey as Alex continued placing a series of delicate kisses and nips along the sensitive skin of her thighs.

Once Casey's breathing had settled she once again lowered her mouth to Casey's soaked centre, sucking her clit into her mouth and entered her with two fingers, Casey's hips shooting up almost knocking Alex from her position as she shuddered to a climax.

"Oh God." Panted Casey as Alex kissed her way up to her lips, her excitement peeking once again as she tasted herself on Alex's mouth, "You are so damn sexy." Whispered Casey as she attempted to flip them over.

Pushing Casey back against the pillows Alex growled, "I told you, you are mine tonight. I intended to make you scream my name all night. Understand?"

"Yes." Whispered Casey, shivering at the want in Alex's voice.

"Good." Replied Alex as she stood from the bed and padded over to the closet pulling out their box of toys, hearing Casey gulp she raised an eyebrow, "Is this what you want?"

"Y-yes." Moaned Casey.

Pulling the straps up over her hips, Alex tried to slow her movements wanting to savour the night, "Tell me. Tell me what you want?" Asked Alex as she walked back to the bed.

"I want you." Moaned Casey, reaching out for blonde only for the blonde to grip her wrists pressing them against the headboard.

"You want me to do what?" Asked Alex as she moved between Casey's legs.

"I want you to fuck me. Make me scream your name." Whispered Casey wrapping her legs around Alex.  
>Growling Alex pressed into Casey, pushing the toy deep inside her making Casey arch up from the bed, before pulling out so just the tip remained inside Casey. Keeping her movements slow and steady she asked, "You like that?"<p>

"Y-Yes. Alex. Yes." Panted Casey.

"Good." Whispered Alex, her own excitement building as she began to thrust faster, her moans mingling with Casey's as her orgasm continued to build, "Cum for me." Feeling Casey's orgasm triggered her own as she slumped down on top of Casey.

Once she had regained her equilibrium Alex pulled Casey to her feet leading her to the window, hoping but not caring if anyone could see them, "Put your hands on the seat and bend over for me." Ordered Alex indicating the window seat, once Casey was in position Alex lightly ran her nails down her back before gripping Casey's hips, entering her fully moaning loudly as her hips slapped against Casey's firm ass.

"Oh God." Moaned Casey relishing the feeling of fullness and Alex's dominance, her moans becoming louder as Alex set a fast pace, her knee's trembling as her climax tore through her.

"Oh God. Oh God." Panted Alex her orgasm tearing through her just moments behind Casey's. Turning Casey around she pressed a hard kiss to Casey's mouth, nipping her bottom lip with her teeth. "On your knee's." Ordered Alex, her voice rough with need, her excitement growing as Casey obeyed without protest. Her hands fisting in Casey's hair as she watched Casey's tongue run the length of the toy, before she took it fully in her mouth.

Feeling Alex tugging at her hair Casey gripped the blondes hips, pulling the toy deeper into her mouth, she knew her nails would leave marks on Alex's skin, but she didn't care she just wanted her closer, wanted more of her inside her. Feeling Alex's legs start to shake she moved her hand between the blondes legs groaning as Alex's excitement coated her finger, she entered the blonde.

The joint sensation of Casey's fingers deep inside her and the toy hitting her sensitive clit was enough to push Alex over the edge as she screamed Casey's name.

Feeling the blondes legs start to shake Casey, helped her to sit down on the window seat, pushing the blonde back slightly she straddled the blonde, lowering herself on to the toy as she rocked against the blonde. Alex's hands came up to her breasts, punching her nipples, her orgasm tearing through her as she slumped forward her head resting on Alex's shoulder, the only sound in the room their heavy breathing.

Once she had regained some sense of equilibrium Alex helped Casey to her feet, quickly slipping the toy off she led her lover to the bed, laying down they shared a languid kiss, "That was amazing." Whispered Alex as she combed her fingers through Casey's hair.

"Mmmm." Mumbled Casey already half asleep.

Kissing the top of Casey's head Alex whispered, "I love you." Her eyes drifting shut, the familiar feel of Casey's heartbeat lulling her to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

Monday morning Casey had a smile on her face as she sat at her desk going over her notes for court the following day, sure, she had been teased by Liv and several other colleagues about the 'Blondes bidding war' as Munch had named it, but the memories of Friday night were more than worth any teasing she faced. Hearing her cell phone ring she groaned when she saw her parents number on the screen, she had been meaning to call her mother, but with all their activities over the weekend she had forgotten. Knowing she was in for an earful she debated sending it to voicemail, before her guilt won out and she sighed answering the call. "Hi Mum..."

"Cassandra, I was beginning to think you had fallen down a well." Was the swift reply, making Casey cringe at the use of her name.

"I'm sorry I meant to return your call but I got caught up with paperwork and stuff." Lied Casey.

"How is Alex?" Asked Anne Novak, she wasn't a fool and could guess exactly what it was that distracted her daughter, having long since excepted her daughter's sexuality and was pleased Casey had finally found someone. After Serena had left they had been worried Casey would completely withdraw, never allowing anyone close, hiding her emotions behind the walls she put up. She could tell Alex had broken those walls down by the loving tone in Casey's voice whenever she spoke about Alex.

Casey hated the fact she blushed at the innocent question so despite the fact her mother couldn't actually see her. "She's fine mum and she's agreed to come to the party next month, so you'll get to meet her for yourself."

"Good, we're looking forward to it. Actually, I was wondering how Serena was doing?" Replied Anne.

"Why?" Asked Casey her voice sharper than she intended.

"Mrs Wills was telling me, that her father had a heart attack in London." Explained Anne, knowing Serena was a touchy subject for Casey.

"Oh, I actually had no idea, how is he?" Asked Casey, having become close the whole Southerlyn family whilst she was dating Serena.

"Last I heard he was critical, them being in London obviously makes it harder for the family to be there. I know things between you aren't good and I understand why, because she's a little...but will you make sure she's okay?"

"Of course." Replied Casey, already standing up, "Mum, I'm heading out now, I'll call you later."

"Okay, lots of love."

"Love you too." Replied Casey, leaving her office she asked her assistant if Serena was in today, receiving an affirmative she shook her head and headed towards Serena's office.

Giving the door a quick tap she headed inside her heart aching for the blonde who was just staring at the wall, her eyes red and puffy, "Hi, I heard about your dad. You should be at home."

"And do what? Stare at the wall?" Asked Serena her voice rough from all the tears she had shed. Hanging her head she mumbled a quiet, "Sorry."

"It's fine." Replied Casey in a soft voice, "Have you heard anything?"

"He's having surgery tomorrow, I'm trying to get a flight but the damn weather means I'm probably not going anywhere until the weekend at the earliest. What if...what if he..." She cut off as her tears started to fall once again.

Walking around the desk Casey pulled her the crying woman into her arms, "Shhh, don't think like that. He's tough, he's going to be fine, you'll see." Whispered Casey.

"I'm sorry." Whispered Serena tucking herself further into Casey's familiar embrace. M

"It's okay. How about I drive you home? And wait with you whilst you call the airport again, that way if you get a flight I can drive you?" Offered Casey.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know, but I want to, just give me ten minutes to grab my stuff and we can go." Replied Casey, heading towards the door.

"Casey." Called Serena just as Casey reached the door.

Poking her head back round the door Casey replied, "Yeah?"

"Thank you, I don't deserve..."

"None of that. I won't be long." Replied Casey with a small smile.

Heading back to her office she sent Alex a text examining the situation and informed her assistant she would be available by phone before collecting Serena and heading down to her truck. Opening the door for the blonde she gave her another warm smile before climbing in and starting the engine, as she drove she watched Serena out of the corner of her eye, other than to give Casey her address she didn't say a word. Reaching across she took Serena's hand in her own, giving it a warm squeeze as she pulled into a parking space, "Come on I'll make you a cup of that horrid dragon fruit tea you love so much, it always cheered you up."

"You remembered." Whispered Serena.

"Yeah, I guess I did." Smiled Casey as she followed Serena into her building, they lapsed into silence for the rest of the short elevator ride to Serena's apartment.

Once inside Casey made them both a drink whilst Serena called the airlines, "I managed to get a flight, I need to be at the airport at five."

"That's fine, I'll take you." Replied Casey, as they sat in silence sipping their tea. "Do you remember that time in high school when your dad came in to give a career talk? And he ended up showing the entire class your baby pictures." Asked Casey with a chuckle as she remembered how embarrassed Serena had been.

"Oh God, I'd attempted to block that out." Smiled Serena, "What about that time he came and watched your first college game and was escorted out by security for yelling at the umpire and the coach."

"I remember that, my father was just as bad, they both ended up drunk doing karaoke in the union bar." Laughed Casey as they spent an hour reminiscing about their younger days.

Reaching out to squeeze Casey's hand Serena said, "Thank you, Thank you for being so nice to me after everything I put you through."

"Why did you leave me?" Asked Casey, she hadn't planned on asking and was almost shocked the words had come from her mouth.

Serena considered the question for a minute of two before replying. "I thought I was doing the right thing for both of us, I truly never meant to hurt you. I knew if I told you about England you would drop everything and come with me and you would hate it and in time come to hate me. That or I would stay and come to resent you for it, it seemed the only way. I know it was a cowardly thing to do and I wish I could change it, I just didn't know how to do it without hurting you."

"But a letter! You couldn't even do it in person." Replied Casey.

"I'm sorry, I knew if I saw you, looked into your beautiful eyes I wouldn't have the strength to leave you, I wish I could turn back the clock and never leave you. I love you Casey, I have since we were teenagers! I screwed up but...I love you..." Replied Serena, stuttering to a stop as she started to cry again.

Pulling Serena close against her Casey held her as she cried, whispering words of comfort and combing her fingers through her hair, "I'm sorry, now isn't the time for this conversation."

Wiping the last of her tears Serena gave Casey a watery smile, "Sorry, I keep crying on you today." Realising how close their faces had become, she leaned forward brushing her lips against Casey's in a whisper of a kiss. Breaking the kiss she whispered, "I've missed you. I've missed you everyday since I left you, I was such a fool."

"I missed you too." Whispered Casey, pulling Serena close for another kiss before jumping to her feet and starting towards the door. "I should go, this isn't...I should go."

"Don't." Whispered Serena pulling Casey to face her, crashing their lips together in a deep kiss.

Gripping both of Serena's hands in her own Casey pressed the blonde roughly against the wall as the kiss intensified the tongues duelling in a battle for dominance, a battle Casey quickly won, as she brought her hand down to squeeze Serena's breast through her shirt, causing the blonde to moan into the kiss.

Growling in response to Casey's touch Serena swapped their positions so it was Casey with her back against the wall. Yanking at Casey's shirt sending buttons in all directions, she brought her mouth to Casey's neck pressing kisses along the delicate skin she bit down on Casey's pulse point hard enough to leave mark, but not caring, her mind was reeling from the feeling of Casey in her arms. Soothing the red mark with a gentle kiss she pushed the straps of the redheads bra down, clamping her mouth over an already stuff nipple, dragging her teeth across the stiff bud before soothing it with the flat of her tongue.

Feeling Serena's hot mouth on her nipple Casey let her head fall back against the wall with a thud. Yanking lightly on Serena's hair she pulled her up and claimed her lips in another kiss, once again reversing their position so Serena was pinned against the wall, knocking a lamp and several framed pictures to the floor in the process. Making sure to keep Serena pressed against the wall, Casey wrapped the blondes long legs around her waist as she claimed her lips in another bruising kiss.

Feeling Casey's dominance, Serena felt a familiar heat in the pit of her stomach, and ached to feel the redhead's touch on her skin. Feeling Casey's hot breath against her neck she bucked against the taller woman in an attempt to get some release, she gasped when she felt Casey nip the skin of her throat. She knew there would be a marks there tomorrow but couldn't bring herself to care as she felt Casey's hands creeping under her skirt, pushing her legs apart, her nails no doubt leaving marks in Casey's shoulders.

As Casey reached the top of Serena's thigh's her fingers brushed against the damp material of the blondes panties, roughly pushing them aside she waisted no time slamming her fingers into the waiting wetness, Serena's loud moans mingling with her heavy breathing as Serena's orgasm quickly tore through her, her head falling to Casey's shoulder as she tried to control her breathing.

"Oh God." Muttered Serena as Casey lowered her to the floor. Pressing Casey into the armchair she quickly undid Casey's slacks working them and damp panties down toned thigh's, her breath caught at the scars littering Casey's right leg. Before she could ask she felt strong fingers guiding her towards Casey's soaked centre.

Casey hissed and arched her back at the first swipe of Serena's tongue, "Yess!"

Serena moaned at taste of Casey's excitement, a familiar taste that had haunted her memory in the years they had been apart. Entering the panting redhead, she set a steady rhythms with her tongue and fingers, quickly being Casey to climax, before climbing onto the chair with her pressing a soft kiss to her lips.

Hearing her cell phone ring with Alex's tones snapped Casey out of her haze, jumping from the chair almost knocking Serena to the floor in her haste to pull up her slacks, "I have to go."

"Casey..."

"No that shouldn't have happened. I'm with Alex, I love Alex. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Whispered Casey pulling her ripped shirt tight around her she let herself out and raced out to her truck, keeping her eyes fixed on the floor. Reaching her truck she pulled on a hooded jumper she found on the back seat, the lingering scent of Alex's perfume almost bringing her to tears as she tried to start the engine with shaking drive home was a blur and Casey found herself surprised when she pulled into her parking space.

Heading inside she avoided eye contact with the doorman and the neighbours she met in the elevator fearing they could see her guilt. Once in her apartment she headed straight to the kitchen pouring a large measure of Bourbon swallowing it in one she repeated the action several times before heading to the bathroom. Turning the shower on as she quickly stripped stepping in before the water could fully warm up, bowing her head to the cool water as her mind replayed her time with Serena, what had she done? She loved Alex yet she slept with Serena and now she was going to hurt Alex because she was weak.

How had she let it happen, one minute they were talking the next their hands were everywhere. How was she supposed to face Serena at work, how was she supposed to tell Alex, how was she going to fix the mess she made? She was such a fool.

Stepping out of the shower she looked at her reflection in the mirror trying to find the words she would need to tell Alex what had happened, she couldn't live with herself if she didn't tell her. As she pictured Alex's reaction her stomach rolled unpleasantly, forcing her to drop to her knee's emptying the contents of her stomach, the acid burning her throat as she continued to retch long after her stomach was empty. Brushing her teeth she pulled on a pair of jeans and the long-sleeved t-shirt Alex had worn last time she stayed over, taking a small measure of comfort from the lingering scent of Alex's body-wash. Walking into the lounge just as she heard the blonde's key in the door, she took a deep breath and tried to control the trembling in her hand.

"Hi." Greeted Casey, unable to hold back her smile at the sight of her girlfriend, her hair and jacket wet from the heavy rain that had started to fall whilst Casey was in the shower.

"Hey, I missed you today." Smiled Alex, pecking Casey on the lips, "I picked up Chines, I hope that's okay? How's Serena holding up?" Not getting a reply, she asked, "You okay? You seem nervous?" Giving Casey's hand a loving squeeze.

"No. We need to talk." Whispered Casey.

"Case, you're frightening me." Replied Alex with a frown.

" Al...I love you and I'm so sorry. I screwed up." Replied Casey staring at her hands.

"What do you mean?" Asked Alex with a frown.

"I love you and I never...oh God...Alex I'm so sorry, but I have to tell you because trust is everything to me...I..." Casey choked off as she lost the battle to hold back her tears.

Alex could see the truth in Casey's eyes but wouldn't believe it until she heard the words, "Just say it." Demanded Alex her voice rough with emotion.

"I slept with Serena." Whispered Casey her voice so quiet the rain hitting the window almost drowned it out.

"Do you love her?" Asked Alex, standing up and walked to the window staring out at the rain.

"I-I no...I love you but she...No." Replied Casey.

"You don't sound so sure." Replied Alex, picking up her jacket she walked out the door, ignoring Casey's plea's to stop, until she felt a hand on her arm.

"Alex, please don't just walk away." Begged Casey.

Spinning around so quickly Casey was forced to take a step back, "Do you love me?"

"Yes!" Replied Casey without hesitation.

"Do you love Serena?" Asked Alex.

"I...not in the same way..." Stuttered Casey.

"That's not the right answer." Snapped Alex yanking her arm free.

"Alex...come back inside and we can talk. Please." Begged Casey, her shirt almost transparent in the heavy rain that was falling around them.

"You know what's funny?" Asked Alex turning to once again face Casey. "You were so afraid of me breaking your heart, but it turned out it was you who broke mine." Replied Alex, walking away leaving Casey standing in the rain.

**A/N; Yeah I know, I'm in the cupboard until I fix it...I'll just make a flask of tea and be on my way. **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N; Sorry for the delay in updating I had computer issues, I promise to make it up to you when my new laptop arrives at the weekend. Thank you for all your reviews they mean a lot. HistoryMoron, I wouldn't normally bother to reply but as you seem determined to be an ass I'll say this once and we can all move on. I'm British complete with an addiction to tea and the sexy accent so its mum not mom. I am a big fan of the DKP stuff and her as a person, when we collaborate it is an equal thing that works well because we have different styles so comparing us is ridiculous. No one forced you to read this story or anything else by me, if you don't like don't read. Also, spelling embarrassing wrong in an effort to point out my mistakes is frankly embarrassing for everyone. Now, that's done, I hope you enjoy this chapter and still love me by the end of it.**

Arriving home Alex didn't bother to take of her wet jacket or switch on a light as she flopped down on the sofa, she felt numb, betrayed, sick and angry all at the same time, silent tears streaming down her cheeks as images of Casey and Serena ran through her mind like a movie on repeat. As a flash of lightning lit up her apartment Alex eyes found the Star Wars DVD's Casey had left behind on their last movie night, Casey's Chevy hooded jumper that Alex had claimed as her own was still on the back of the sofa where it was thrown when they made love too impatient to make it to the bedroom. Pulling the jumper towards her she buried her face in it as sobs racked her body, she was pulled from her misery by the ringing of her cell phone, as much as she wanted to ignore it she knew it could be the office so reluctantly pulled it out of her purse, recognising her best friends number she answered it.

"Hi..."

"Alex?" Asked Abbie Carmichael frowning in confusion at her soft friends voice.

"Yeah, sorry. Hey Abbie." Replied Alex, moving into a seated position.

"Are you sick?" Asked Abbie.

"No, I'm...I'm..." Stuttered Alex as her tears started again.

"I'll be there in twenty." Replied Abbie, hanging up before Alex could protest.

Ten minutes later there was a light knock at the door, forcing herself to her feet Alex checked the peep-hole seeing her best friend on the other side she unlocked the door, forcing a small smile to her face at the sight of her very soggy best friend, "Hi, you didn't have to come over. Your soaked."

"Hell I didn't." Replied Abbie taking off her jacket and heading into the lounge, "Three questions, where's the bourbon? Who's ass do I need to kick? And why are you in your wet coat?"

Alex couldn't hold back a chuckle at her friends attitude, "In the usual spot, no one's because you're too old for a fight, even if you think being a tough Texan mean's bar fights are acceptable and because I...its been a bad day."

Rolling her eyes at her friend Abbie stripped off her coat before disappearing into the kitchen, returning with two glasses and a bottle of Wild Turkey, pouring them both a generous measure she leaned back in the arm-chair and studied her friend. "Want to try answering the last two again?"

Swirling the liquid in her glass, Alex was saved from answering when her cell phone began to ring, displaying Casey's picture.

Abbie watched Alex down her drink, sigh and dismiss the call, leaning forward she leaned forward and refilled the blonde's glass, "Ah, I see."

"She slept with Serena." Replied Alex in a hollow voice.

"That's the ex right?" Asked Abbie.

"Yeah, the one who broke her heart." Replied Alex bitterly, taking a long swallow of her drink.

"Want me to kick her ass?"

"No." Replied Alex, wiping angrily at the tears that had started to fall again. "I really love her."

"Oh Sweetie." Whispered Abbie putting her glass down she pulled Alex into her arms whilst her friend sobbed. In the years since they had become friends, it was only the third time she had seen Alex cry. The first had been when her grandmother died and the second was after a particularly harrowing case, she had never seen her cry over a woman. She knew Alex had fallen hard for Casey and was more than willing to kick the other woman's ass for making her friend cry. Hearing Alex's tears turn to occasional stifles she leaned back and used her thumb to wipe the remaining tears away, "Better?"

Nodding, Alex kept her head on Abbie's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

"Hey now, that's what friends are for." Replied Abbie, lightly stroking a hand through Alex's hair as they lapsed into silence, she knew Alex would talk when she was ready.

"I really thought she loved me." Whispered Alex.

"What exactly happened? I mean how do you know?" Asked Abbie.

"She told me."

"Casey?" Asked Abbie with a frown.

"Yeah, she said it was a mistake and she loves me." Replied Alex, before giving a bitter laugh, "If she loved me she wouldn't have slept with that little tart."

"Al, the fact she told you shows that she cares about you, she could have hidden it from you." Offered Abbie in a gentle voice.

"If she cared she wouldn't have slept with Serena." Replied Alex, jumping from the sofa as she started to pace the living room.

"Al..."

"You know, I was always so careful, making sure I didn't rush her or do anything to hurt her and this is how I'm rewarded." Dragging a hand through her tangled hair she continued to pace, "All I wanted was to have a grown up relationship, one that might actually lead to something more."

"Something more?" Asked Abbie.

"I was going to ask her to move in with me. I saw myself marrying her, having children with her. God, I'm an idiot! I thought she felt the same, how stupid does that make me?"

"Al..."

"You know, I knew this would happen, it was always, Serena this and Serena that! Why didn't I just walk away when Serena first came back?"

"Al..."

"I'm a smart woman.. Maybe I should just sleep with you..." Continued Alex still pacing.

"ALEX!"

"What?"

"Sleeping with me whilst amazing, won't make it better." Replied Abbie with a warm smile, "Go take a shower, put on your PJ's and we can eat ice cream and get drunk whilst watching sappy movies."

"Okay, I'll find you something to put on and you can use the guest shower." Offered Alex, suddenly realising how cold she was.

"Perfect, I'll order pizza and ice cream." Offered Abbie as Alex handed her some yoga pants and a t-shirt.

"You're a good friend."

"I know." Replied Abbie with a smirk as she picked up her phone to order the food.

Alex stripped off and stepped under the spray, letting the warm water ease the chill that had crept into her bones. She had been in the shower about ten minutes when she heard a knock at the door, followed my some mumbling and swearing, giving a chuckle she assumed it was the pizza and Abbie had gone to answer it. Picking up the shampoo she heard raised voices, recognising Casey's voice she quickly stepped out the shower, shrugging her robe on and heading to the door.  
>Finding Abbie in a glaring match she asked, "What's going on? Casey, what are you doing here?"<p>

Casey had given up trying to call Alex and had decided to head to her apartment, she hadn't been expecting a somewhat familiar half-naked brunette to open the door. Nor had she expected a similarly dressed Alex to appear, apparently the blonde had already moved on. "I wanted to talk, but I see you have other plans. Sorry I spoiled your fun." Replied Casey, turning and walking away, ignoring Alex's voice calling her back.

Preparing to go after her Alex glared at Abbie feeling her friend lightly gripping her hand, "Let go, I need to explain to her."

"Alex think about it you're in your robe, get dressed and go see her if that's what you want, personally I'd let her stew in it for a while."

Looking down at what she was wearing Alex nodded, "I'll call her." Replied Alex heading back inside, picking up her cell phone she dialled Casey's number as she headed towards her bedroom to get dressed.

She had been so sure Casey wouldn't answer she jumped when she heard Casey's voice, "What do you want Alex?"

"To explain. Casey it's not what it looks like, Abbie is an old friend from law school and I was upset so she came over we were both wet from the rain so..."

"I get it Alex, don't worry. I hope you'll both be very happy." Replied Casey.

"Casey! You have no right to be mad at me for having a friend over when you screwed your ex girlfriend!" Snapped Alex her anger rising rapidly.

"I...I..you're right. I thought it might take you more than a few hours to get over me though. I must have been real important to you." Replied Casey in a sarcastic tone.

"Screw you. You...you have no idea...Screw you!" Replied Alex hanging up before Casey could reply, throwing her phone on her bed she slumped down on the edge and put her head in her hands her anger thumping in her ears. Hearing a timid knock at her bedroom door she gave Abbie a small smile, "That went well."

"I'm sorry." Replied Abbie, sitting next to Alex she pulled her friend close and stroked a hand through her hair, "I'm sure once you both calm down you'll work it out."

"What's to work out? She cheated on me, she will always love Serena. I wont be anyone's second choice, I deserve better than that and so does Casey."

"She told you what happened, she didn't have to, to me that means she is truly sorry. She came round to talk, Alex as much as I hate to say this but she loves you and yes she fucked up but that doesn't mean it's over between you. Now, get dressed the pizza will be here soon and we have some drinking to do."

"We're not in law school now and some of us have to get up for work tomorrow." Replied Alex with a slight smile as she mulled over Abbie's words.

"Then call in sick and we'll spend tomorrow recovering whilst watching nothing but black and white movies." Smirked Abbie as she headed to answer the door.

"I'll call Kim and tell her I have the flu." Smiled Alex, picking up her phone.

Arriving home back at her apartment Casey slammed the door closed behind her, throwing her coat to the floor, she was vaguely aware that she was one foot stop away from acting like a spoiled toddler, but she was too angry to care. Walking into the kitchen she grabbed the bottle of Whiskey and a glass from the side and headed towards her bedroom downing a shot of the amber liquid as she went. Slumping down on her bed she heard her phone ringing, seeing Serena's number she sent the call to voicemail before switching it off resting back against the pillows, how had she managed to make such a mess in just a day? She knew she was out of line being angry at Alex and ignoring Serena wasn't a long-term solution, but it seemed she was the queen of bad decisions.

Pouring another drink Casey's wallowing was interrupted by a knock at the door, sighing she debated ignoring it until the knock came again firmer this time, draining her glass she headed towards the door, yanking it open without checking the spy-hole she felt her heart twist at the sight of a damp looking Serena, "Shouldn't you be on your way to London?"

"My dad has improved so they're flying home so he can have surgery here." Replied Serena. "Can I come in?"

"Sure." Replied Casey, stepping aside to let Serena passed, closing the door she headed into her room and came back with a towel and change of clothes for the shivering blonde. "Go get changed into these."

"T-thanks." Shivered Serena, ten minutes later Serena headed back into the lounge where Casey was waiting with a mug of hot chocolate for them both, "That's better, thank you."

"Good. What do you want Serena?" Asked Casey her voice tired.

"To talk. You kind of ran out on me after we...after."

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that." Replied Casey with a small smile as she sat in the armchair opposite the couch, nursing her mug of hot chocolate.

"Casey, I miss you, I miss us. I have since the moment I left and I think you feel the same. I want you back. I want to kiss you awake in the middle of the night so we can make love, I want to have children with you like we planned and retire to Hawaii. I've never stopped loving you and I will spend the rest of my life making up for the hurt I caused you."

Standing Casey walked back to the window, dragging a hand throughout her hair as a thousand thoughts ran through her mind. "Serena...I..."

"Its okay, I know you need some time." Replied Serena putting her now empty cup down on the table she stood and walked to where Casey was standing, reaching up she cupped Casey's cheek with her hand and pulled her down for a soft kiss, "Take your time, I'll wait for you." Whispered Serena as the kiss ended.

Unable to speak Casey just nodded as she watched Serena pick up her jacket, "I'll see you at work in the morning. I really do love you Casey and I respect that you have feelings for Alex, but we both know we belong together." Whispered Serena pressing another slow kiss to Casey's lips before turning to leave.

Hearing the door close Casey was even more confused than before, she was sure she loved Alex and wanted her forgiveness but feeling Serena's lips on hers had brought back so many memories and feelings that her heart and thoughts were more conflicted than ever. As the alarm rang out the following morning Casey hit it with enough force it was knocked to the floor, she had laid awake until the sun began to rise her mind in turmoil. Climbing out of bed she turned on the shower hoping the cool water would wake her up, had she not had court she was would have called in sick. As she got dressed she decided to head straight to court, hoping she wouldn't have to see either Alex or Serena, giving her some more time to sort her feelings out.

-  
>Waking up the following morning Alex groaned at the slight pounding in her head, twisting her neck she realised she had fallen asleep on the couch and Abbie had covered her with a blanket, slumping back against the cushion she tried to work out what it was that had woken her, when a disgruntled Abbie appeared next to her holding out her cell phone which was blaring the Funeral March at an obnoxious volume.<p>

"Make it stop." Groaned Abbie thrusting the phone at Alex before headed towards the kitchen.

It took Alex two attempts to hit the correct buttons, "What do you need Kim?" Listening as Kim explained a suspect in one of Alex's cases had been arrested by homicide in another boroughs jurisdiction and that she and one of the homicide ADA's needed to go and deal with extradition. "I'll be there in half an hour, make sure homicide is prepped to leave straight away."

Hanging up she swung her legs off the couch gratefully excepting the mug of coffee Abbie had fixed for her, "Thanks."

"I figured you would need it if you were being called in to work, why don't you shower and I'll make you some toast."

"You Miss Carmichael are my hero." Smiled Alex as she headed to take a shower. As she stood under the spray she realised that having to work with a homicide ADA probably meant she would have to see Casey or worse Serena and she wasn't sure she was ready for either of those conversations. Dressing in her favourite suit she quickly ate the toast Abbie made her before promising to have dinner with her friend that evening and leaving her apartment.

Arriving at the office she paid the cabbie having decided she had drunk enough the night before that she shouldn't be driving and headed up to her office, seeing a familiar blonde waiting outside she swore under her breath, "Where's Casey?"

"Casey's in court, so you'll have to take me, believe me it's not my idea of fun either." Replied Serena.

"Fine, I'll meet you downstairs in five, I just need a file." Snapped Alex, walking into her office she slammed the door and leaned back against it, trying to control the anger pounding in her ears. Taking a few more deep breaths Alex picked up the file that was still on her desk from the day before and headed to the lobby where Serena was waiting.

Without a word they headed outside and climbed in the waiting cab, the first ten minutes of the journey were spent in silence. "I slept with Casey yesterday." Said Serena breaking the tense silence between them.

"I know, she told me. She also told me it was a mistake and she regrets it." Replied Alex fixing Serena with an icy glare.

"Really? Was that before or after I went to her apartment last night and we talked about getting back together?" Asked Serena with a smirk.

"She wouldn't take you back. She loves me." Replied Alex.

"She'll never love you the way she loves me and deep down you know that, why don't you jut except it and walk away." Asked Serena.

"Fuck you." Snapped Alex, "You left her once and destroyed her in the process. You don't deserve her! She doesn't want you, it was a mistake."

"You have no idea what you're talking about! I was her first, her first kiss, her first time, her first love. I know her, her secrets, her fears and her dreams. You're her second choice, well now I'm back and she doesn't need a substitute when she has the real thing." Replied Serena.

Before Alex could reply there was the loud blaring of a horn and the sound of metal crunching against metal as broken glass sprayed across them. The impact sending their cab spinning across the intersection until it came to a stop against another truck, leaving its passengers bleeding and unconcious.


	10. Chapter 10

Opening her eyes Serena tried to work out what happened, she could feel something wet on her head, lifting her hand up to wipe it, it came away sticky with blood, swallowing down her nausea and fear she winced at the pain in her neck as she tried to turn her head. Hearing a groan she managed to look around, gasping when she saw Alex pinned against the seat a large piece of metal in her chest, blood trickling down her chin, "Alex, Oh God, Alex, open your eyes for me please. Please don't be dead." Begged Serena as she gingerly removed her jacket pressing it to the wound on Alex's chest, making the blonde wince.

"C-Casey?" Mumbled Alex.

"No Sweetie, but if you keep your eyes open for me I promise to call her." Replied Serena trying to keep the fear out of her voice as her jacket quickly became saturated in the other woman's blood.

"C-cold." Whispered Alex.

"Don't try to talk. Help is coming, just hold on." Replied Serena pressing harder on her jacket as the blood continued to flow, looking around she could see the driver was dead from the angel of his neck and prayed that help would arrive in time. Seeing Alex's eyes starting to drift closed she called her name, "Alex, come on you need to stay awake for me, for Casey."

"For Casey." Replied Alex. "Tell her...tell her I love her...I...I forgive her."

"You can tell her yourself." Replied Serena. As the minutes ticked by she was starting to panic as Alex's breaths became shallow and she started choking on the blood filling her mouth, just as she felt help was never coming she heard the wail of sirens, their lights reflecting how pale Alex had become, "See, I told you help was coming, It's going to be okay."

"Miss you need to move." Ordered the fireman as he looked inside and saw Serena all but straddling Alex's lap in an effort to slow the bleeding.

"I'm not leaving her." Snapped Serena, "If I move then she will bleed out in minutes, just work around me and hurry."

"You...should...go..." Panted Alex.

"I'm not leaving you." Replied Serena as she took the pressure dressings the paramedic handed her and applied them as she was told, making Alex wince again.

"W-why?" Asked Alex.

"Because losing you would destroy Casey and I love her enough I want her to be happy and as much as I might want to deny it she loves you in a way she no longer loves me. I see it in her eyes when she thinks about you and in her smile when she says your name. she's crazy about you. So, I'm staying until you're free and you're going to stay awake and fight for her. Because she loves you and she needs you, so stop arguing with me and let's get out of here. Okay?"

"'Kay." Whispered Alex with a grimace as the firefighters started the process to free them both. The next ten minutes were a blur as the roof was removed from the cab and Alex was slowly removed and loaded into the ambulance.

"We need to move." Yelled the paramedic as Alex flat lined.

"Come on Alex, stay with us." Whispered Serena squeezing Alex's hand tightly in her own. Reaching the hospital Serena was forced to let go as Alex was wheeled into the trauma room as a nurse led her into a treatment cubicle.

* * *

><p>Arriving at the court-house Casey was informed that her case had been settled, the defendant having taken a plea. As she stepped out of the court-house she yelped as someone grabbed her arm, "What the..." Recognising the brunette from the night before she yanked her arm back and growled, "Oh, it's you."<p>

"We need to talk." Replied Abbie unfazed by Casey's rudeness.

"I have nothing to say to you." Replied Casey as she started to walk away.

"Well I have plenty to say to you, some of which might just help you fix things with Alex, but if you're too busy being a self-riotous idiot then that's your loss." Replied Abbie with a shrug as she started walking in the opposite direction.

Pausing for a moment as she considered the brunettes words Casey turned and hurried after her catching up to her just as she was hailing a cab, "You wanted to talk, so talk."

"I thought you had nothing to say to me?" Replied Abbie with a raised eyebrow, she had no intention of letting Casey off lightly.

Taking a deep breath Casey replied, "I'm sorry, please can we talk?"

"Fine. There's a coffee shop opposite and you're buying." Replied Abbie.

Giving a tense nod Casey fell into step next to the other woman, still trying to work out where she knew the brunette from, "I know you from somewhere, I just can't place you."

"Softball, we played against each other in high school, you knocked my last pitch out of the park stealing victory." Replied Abbie.

"Of course Abbie Carmichael." Replied Casey as realisation set in, "I often wondered what happened to you."

"I still play or at least I did until I moved to New York. I heard you broke your leg just before making the big time. Tough break, you were good. Do you still play?"

"Thanks, I coach little league and play for the DA's office." Replied Casey as they arrived at the coffee shop.

Finding a quiet corner, Casey placed their order and they waited in silence until the waitress delivered their drinks before Abbie broke the silence, "Firstly, there is nothing going on between myself and Alex, we have been friends since law school. When I called last night she was upset so I headed over. I couldn't get a cab so was soaked by the time I arrived and as Alex was still in her wet things from leaving you, we took showers, in _separate_ bathrooms. Secondly, what the hell is wrong with you?"

"I screwed up. Serena was my first love, the woman I promised forever to. We started dating in high-school and by college were living together in a grungy little apartment planning our lives and then one day she was gone. I was heartbroken and had no intention of letting anyone close again and then Alex smiled at me and I knew I was lost. I tried to keep my distance but it didn't work and I fell in love with Alex. Then Serena came back and I tried to deny the feelings that stirred up in me. I never meant to hurt Alex."

"Do you love her?" Asked Abbie a small measure of sympathy in her voice, everyone remembered the pain of that first heart-break.

"Alex or Serena?" Asked Casey.

"Alex."

"Yes." Replied Casey.

"And Serena?" Asked Abbie.

"I-I think I will always love her but...but I'm not in love with her." Replied Casey as the truth of the words settled in her heart.

"Then what are you going to do about it?"

"Does it matter? Alex will never forgive me."

"She loves you and if you're honest with her and give it sometime I'm sure she will come around, the fact you told her what happened and not lie will be a key part of that." Replied Abbie.

"Maybe." Replied Casey with a sad smile.

Before Abbie could reply her cell phone began to ring, excusing herself she stepped outside to answer it returning minutes later. Noticing the pale parlor of the brunette's face when she returned Casey asked, "Is everything okay?"

"That was the hospital, the cab Alex was travelling in was in an accident. I need to go." Replied Abbie pulling on her jacket.

"I'm coming with you." Replied Casey. Seeing Abbie nod Casey led the way out of the coffee shop heading towards her truck. As she pulled into traffic her own phone began to ring, thrusting it at Abbie to answer she pressed down on the accelerator as she listened to the brunette's side of the conversation.

"Casey Novak's phone...We're on our way now...Thank you." Hanging up she looked across at Casey and took a deep breath, "That was the hospital, Serena was in the same cab as Alex, she's in the emergency room."

"What the hell happened?" Asked Casey.

"Guess we'll find out when we arrive." Replied Abbie as they lapsed into silence for the rest of the journey.

Arriving at the hospital they headed straight to the nurse's station demanding an update on the two blondes. After a brief wait a somber looking doctor approached them, "Hello, I'm Doctor McQueen, Miss Southerlyn is in x-ray she has minor injuries mainly cuts and bruises and a possible broken leg. There is no reason to think she won't make a full recovery, Miss Cabot on the other hand has more severe injuries and is currently in surgery. A large piece of metal pierced her chest, nicking her aorta had it not been for Miss Southerlyn's actions at the scene of the accident she wouldn't have made it this far. I promise to keep you updated but I should warn you could be sometime before we have any news."

"Thank you." Whispered Abbie.

Casey felt as if her legs had turned to jelly as she listened to the doctor's words. Once the doctor had left they sat in silence for a few minutes each wrapped up in their own thoughts and saying silent prayers for Alex.

"I should call her parents." Whispered Abbie, breaking the silence.

"I can do it if you want?" Offered Casey.

"No, I'll do it. You should go check on Serena." Replied Abbie.

"Will you...will you..."

"As soon as I know something I'll come find you." Promised Alex, giving Casey's shoulder a squeeze as she headed out to call Alex's parents.

Taking a deep breath Casey headed towards Serena's room, giving the door a light tap she headed inside, wincing at the cuts and bruises that covered Serena's face, "Hi."

"Hi, how's Alex?" Asked Serena.

"Still in surgery. The doctor said you saved her life." Replied Casey, "What happened?"

"I don't know, it's all fuzzy. One minute we were in the cab arguing and the next there's this almighty crash and then Alex was hurt and I tried to help her, I swear I tried to help her, but there was so much...so much blood and I couldn't...I couldn't make it stop. The driver...he was...he wasn't." Replied Serena as she started to cry.

"It's okay." Whispered Casey climbing on to the bed she gently pulled the shaking woman into her arms, whispering words of comfort until she settled into silence.

"This is nice." Whispered Serena.

"Serena, we need to talk." Replied Casey.

"I know." Replied Serena, subconsciously tightening her hold on Casey.

"Rena, I love you, I will always love you..."

"But you're not _in_ love with me." Replied Serena, understanding what Casey was saying.

"No." Admitted Casey, seeing Serena about to speak again she held up her hand, " Please, let me finish, I need to say this, it's the only way I'll ever be able to move on and be happy." Whispered Casey, seeing Serena nod she swallowed and carried on, "I love you and a part of me always will because you made me the person I am today. You made me work hard in school, you taught me to like myself and believe in the things I could do, for that I will never be able to thank you enough, but you left me and it destroyed me. I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty or because I'm still angry, I'm not. As much as it hurt and the way you did it was really crappy but I understand it and now I can see why you did it and you were right we would have ended up resenting each other." Casey hadn't realised she was crying until she felt Serena's thumbs wipe her cheeks.

"I hate that I hurt you and I will never stop being sorry." Whispered Serena through her own tears. "But I know you want Alex and I love you enough that I want you to be happy."

"She fixed me, when you left I was so broken, so afraid of being hurt that I wouldn't let anyone in and Alex fixed that, she made me whole again and if there is the smallest chance she I'll forgive me and take me back I'm going to take it."

"Then go to her, she told me she forgives you and that she loves you." Replied Serena, leaning up she pressed her lips to Casey's in a brief kiss.

"I should go and check on Abbie, I'll come by and check on you later." Promised Casey, dropping a kiss on the top of Serena's head she headed out of the room and went in search of Abbie.

Finding the brunette in the waiting room a cup of coffee in her hands she sat next to her, "Hey, did you get through to her parents?"

"Yeah, they're trying to get a flight but the storms in London are making it difficult, I promised one of us would call as soon as we know something. How's Serena?"

"Shaken." Replied Casey as they once again lapsed into silence.

Speaking only to check the time they took it in turns to get coffee and pace the corridor before slumping back down in the uncomfortable chairs, their hearts jumping each time a doctor came through the doors. Three hours later the same doctor headed over to where they were sitting, "How is she?" Asked Casey.

"Miss Cabot is still in critical condition, that she made it through surgery is a testament to her strength. She will need another surgery before the repair to her heart is complete, but her body is too weak and she has lost too much blood to handle it right now. She will be kept sedated and moved to the ICU where she will be closely monitored, if she makes it through the night we will reevaluate her condition and if she is strong enough perform the next surgery. I wish I had better news for you."

"What are her chances?" Asked Abbie.

"Right now thirty percent, if she makes it through the night that will raise and if she makes it through the next surgery even better."

"Can we see her?" Asked Casey.

"Of course, I'll have a nurse arrange scrubs for you and show you to her room." Replied the doctor.

Thanking the doctor, Abbie headed outside to call Alex's parents with an update, leaving Casey to sit with Alex. Heading into Alex's room Casey pulled the chair close to the bed and gently lifted Alex's hand pressing a soft kiss to the back of it, "Alex, I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you to be strong, I need you to come back to me because I love you and I swear there isn't one person in this world I want more than you. So you have to be okay, you have to get better."

Looking up as Abbie came into the room and pulled up a seat on the opposite of Alex's bed, Casey sent her a weak smile as they settled in for a night watching over the woman in the bed between them.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N; I'm so pleased you're all enjoying this story. Cavak, I like the name, Carena has a ring to it. **

Casey and Abbie quickly fell in to a routine as the hours ticked passed, they took it in turns giving the necessary people updates, getting coffee and eating before returning to Alex's bedside where they would alternatively sit in silence or talk about anything they could think of in hushed voices, swapping tales of their days in college, their smiles vanishing as quickly as they came, feeling blasphemous given the situation. Just after midnight Abbie fell asleep on the small couch in the room, leaving Casey alone with her thoughts.

Since her conversation with Serena there was a lightness in her heart that hadn't been there before, she finally felt as if she had gained the closure she needed to move on and be happy, hopefully with Alex. As she looked down at the still blonde she knew they had a long road ahead of them, not just Alex's physical recovery but as a couple, she would have to prove to Alex she was a hundred percent invested in their relationship, no more holding herself back. Walking to the window she stretched her back, achy from the hours in the uncomfortable seat, looking out at the dark shy she let herself imagining a future with Alex. Buying a house and waking up with her every morning and falling asleep together every night, holidays and family gatherings, marriage and maybe one day children, a family of their own. She could imagine a little girl with Alex's colouring and personality and a boy who looked more like her, teaching them little league, reading stories together and building blanket forts like she did with her father and brothers. She was pulled from her thoughts by a nurse coming in to check Alex's vitals, "How's she doing?" Asked Casey keeping her voice low so she didn't wake Abbie.

"She's a fighter, that's for sure. If her levels remain the same then it looks good for her surgery in the morning." Replied the nurse with a small smile before leaving as quietly as she had entered.

"You hear that Al, you're doing great." Whispered Casey, pressing a small kiss to the back of Alex's hand before sitting back in the chair and watching the steady rise and fall of Alex's chest.

She hadn't realised she had fallen asleep until she felt a hand on her arm, "Sorry, I didn't mean to make you jump. You were dreaming and as you kept moaning Alex's name I'm kind of hoping it was a nightmare." Whispered Abbie with a small smile.

"I can't remember falling asleep." Replied Casey as she sat up and stretched, looking down at her watch she was surprised to see it was almost four in the morning, "I'll get us some coffee." Offered Casey.

"Already got it." Replied Abbie, handing Casey a cup of coffee type liquid.

"Thanks. I think." Grimaced Casey as she took a sip.

Despite their attempts not to with each passing hour that Alex remained stable they felt their hopes rising and as the first rays of sunlight crept through the windows, Alex's doctor came in and checked her over and was happy enough with her condition that they booked her for surgery later that morning. Half an hour before Alex was due to go in for surgery Abbie had stepped out to call and check in with Alex's parents leaving Casey alone with the blonde, "Hey, so I know you're probably sick of the sound of my voice but I have to tell you how much I love you. Alex, I know you're probably in pain and it would be easier to give up but you can't, you have to be strong and come back to us, we all need you. I know I have a lot to make up to you and I don't expect you to forgive me over night, but I'm not going anywhere, I want to be with you, marry you, have children with you and grow old with you. So you have to stay strong. I love you, I might not have planned on falling for you, but now that I have, I intend to spend forever with you." Pressing a lingering kiss to Alex's forehead she sat in silence holding her hand until the porter arrived to take her to theatre.

As Alex's surgery was going to take at least four hours Casey used the time to head back to her apartment and shower, before picking up a few things and returning to the hospital so that Abbie could do the same, before returning to the hospital and falling into the now familiar routine of bad coffee, pacing the same dozen steps and stilted conversation. In what seemed like forever the four hour mark came and went, as did the fifth, as the clock approached the sixth hour approached Casey began to lose her patients, walking to the nurse's station she banged her hand down hard enough to draw every ones attention towards her, "Alexandra Cabot has been in surgery almost six hours, we were told it would be four. Now, how about you put you freaking coffee cups down, stop gossiping and go find out what the hell is taking so long!"

"I'll go see what I can find out." Offered a now familiar nurse with a small smile.

"Thank you. I'm sorry for shouting." Replied Casey with an embarrassed smile.

"I've heard worse." Replied the same nurse as she headed in the direction of the theatres.

Heading back to where Abbie was sitting with her head in her hands, Casey lightly bumped their shoulders together, "You doing okay?"

"No, I don't want to have to ring and tell her parents that their only daughter is dead." Replied Abbie, her voice rough with emotion.

"She's tough, she'll be okay." Replied Casey, praying she was right.

Before Abbie could answer the nurse returned and headed over to them, "There were some complications but they managed to overcome them, they are just finishing up and Doctor McQueen will be out to talk to you in a few minutes."

"Thank you." Whispered Casey.

"You're welcome." Replied the nurse with a warm smile.

Ten minutes later Doctor McQueen came through the double door's and headed across to them, "I apologise for keeping you in the dark for so long, there was little we could tell you until now. Alex made it through the surgery, however, there were some unforeseen complications which what took the time. Owing to the angle the metal pierced her chest there was more damage than we were anticipating, we managed to fix it and all being well there won't be any need for more surgery. We will be keeping her sedated for at least twenty-four hours to give her body a chance to heal, she will also continue to receive strong antibiotics and we will monitor her closely but we are hopeful she will make a full recovery."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Whispered Casey, shocked to feel tears welling up in her eyes.

"It was our pleasure, now Alex will be moved back into her room within the next hour, so I suggest you go and get some real coffee before then." Smiled the Doctor.

Thanking the doctor again they decided Casey would head to the deli near the hospital and pick them up some coffee and food whilst Abbie called Alex's parents who were still waiting for a flight from London. Arriving back at the hospital Casey found Abbie in conversation with Serena, "Hi, you I like the cast." Smiled Casey indicating the pink cast on Serena's leg.

"Thanks, I thought it made a statement." Replied Serena, "I'm being released and I just wanted to check in on Alex before I left and I got talking to Abbie."

"She's doing better, thanks to you." Replied Casey with a warm smile.

"I wasn't going to leave her. I spoke to Van Buren this afternoon and she was telling me that they arrested the driver who hit us, turns out he was three times the legal limit, McCoy is going to throw the book at him."

"Good." Replied Abbie in a bitter tone.

"I agree, he deserves everything that coming his way." Replied Casey.

"I just hope he takes a deal, I really don't want to have to go to court." Replied Serena with a small shudder.

Abbie chuckled at the blonde's comment, "I kinda think you picked the wrong career then Blondie."

Sending the Texan a smile Serena found herself drawn into the other woman's warm brown eyes, "I like asking the questions, not answering them."

"I'll remember that in the future." Grinned Abbie, surprised she didn't hate Serena on sight instead she had found the younger blonde sincere in her concerns for Alex.

Blushing lightly Serena dipped her head, "I should get going my sister is coming to pick me up. Will you keep me updated, I know we didn't exactly get off to a good start and I feel really guilty but…I hope she's okay."

"I promise to give you a call later, make sure you haven't killed your sister." Replied Casey with a smile.

"How about I wheel you out, whilst Casey goes and whispers mushy stuff to Alex." Offered Abbie with a grin.

"That would be great, I've not quite got the hang of this thing yet." Smiled Serena, indicating the wheelchair she was being forced to use.

"Well then, you're in luck I'm an excellent driver. I was raised on NASCAR." Grinned Abbie.

Rolling her eyes at the banter between the two Casey was pleased to note that she felt no jealousy just a sense of amusement at their antics. In the time she had spent with Abbie she had found her to be the sort of person she could see herself becoming good friends with and despite their past she truly hoped Serena would one day meet someone and have the life she deserved. Saying her goodbyes to the blonde she watched as Abbie began pushing the wheelchair making car noises as she did so, giving a small laugh she headed back towards Alex's room.

Walking in she was pleased that there were less machines around Alex and the blonde seemed to have slightly more colour in her cheeks, leaning down she pressed a small kiss to Alex's forehead, mindful of the cuts and bruises that littered her face. "Hey, you are so strong, I'm so proud of you Alex. You're parents are on their way and will be here by the time you wake up, Abbie is here or at least she will be once she has finished flirting with Serena. Everyone in the office is pulling for you, the SVU squad sent flowers and McCoy is going to make the son of a bitch that hit you pay. And I can't wait to see those beautiful blue eyes of yours, I know we need to talk and there's a chance you're going to hate me, but I'm still going to be here and I will do whatever it takes to make you realise how much you mean to me. I love you Alexandra Cabot, so you concentrating on getting better." Sitting back in her seat Casey picked up the copy of Monstrous Regiment she had been reading to Alex and started to read.

Seeing Abbie come in she finished the page and put the book aside before asking, "How was your….drive?"

"It was fine, I was just being polite." Replied Abbie with a shrug.

"Ahh Southern hospitality at its best." Smirked Casey, laughing as Abbie flipped her off, "Seriously though, you two would make a cute couple."

"Really? I was just being nice, she saved my best friends life." Replied Abbie.

"I believe you."

"I wanted to hate her for hurting Alex but she seemed genuinely sorry and concerned for her, kinda took the wind outta my sails. Same with you really."

"Abbie, I hope after all of this we can be friends?" Seeing Abbie nod and smile she went on, "I know I made a mistake sleeping with Serena. It wasn't that I was in love with her or that I don't love Alex, I was looking for closure and I have that now, we both do and I hope we can be friends. I want nothing but good things for Serena and if you find yourself liking her then that's fine by me, you both deserve to be happy. As for Alex, I love her, I want to make a life with her and have a family together. I just hope she forgives me."

"She will, she loves you." Replied Abbie, as they settled into silence once more.

Several hours later they were joined by Alex's parents who insisted that both Abbie and Casey go home and get some proper sleep, the doctors were happy with Alex's continued improvement and had said that providing she had a restful night they would reverse the medication keeping her sedated the following morning and hopefully Alex would be awake by the afternoon.

After dropping Abbie off at her apartment and arranging to pick her up the following morning Casey headed back at her apartment, making herself a cup of tea and slumped down on her sofa, suddenly feeling tired to the bone, as she sipped her drink she found herself feeling nervous about the possibility of Alex being awake the following day. As much as she wanted Alex awake and safe she was afraid Alex would send her away without giving her a chance to explain and make things right between them, not that she could blame Alex for being angry she had been an idiot. Deciding she was too tired to think, she took a quick shower and climbed into bed, her fears at losing Alex keeping her awake until the first rays of sunlight filtered through her windows.

The following morning Casey collected Abbie and they headed back to the hospital, arriving just after the doctor had done their rounds, after greeting Alexander and Laura Cabot Casey asked, "How is she this morning?"

"She's doing really well, they reversed the medication this morning and she should start to wake up in a few hours." Replied Alexander as she stood and stretched.

"That's brilliant, she'll be back giving us orders in no time." Grinned Abbie handing out the coffees they had picked up on their way to the hospital.

As the minutes ticked by Casey could feel her heart racing, a hundred possibilities racing through her mind, what if Alex told her to leave? What if she never forgave her? Suddenly feeling as if she couldn't breathe she jumped to her feet startling the rooms other occupants. "I have to go to the office and check in, what with Serena and Alex out we're short staffed." Saying her goodbyes she rushed from the room and headed towards the elevator.

"Casey wait up." Called Abbie following her along the corridor, she knew Casey had taken a leave of absence and that she didn't need to go in to the office.

"Abbie…"

"Don't run, you'll never forgive yourself if you do." Interrupted Abbie.

"I'm not running away, I just need some air." Replied Casey.

"I'll call you if she wake up before you get back." Promised Abbie, sending Casey a warm smile as she stepped onto the elevator.

Leaving the hospital Casey climbed in her truck and started driving, no real destination in mind she ended up at the diner she and Alex had shared breakfast in more than once. She was pleased it was quiet and after ordering a coffee sat staring out of the window, jumping when she heard someone call her name, looking up she saw Alex's favourite waitress Vera smiling down at her, "I'm sorry I was miles away."

"I just asked if Alex was joining you." Smiled Vera, she had seen how close the two had become and thought they made a good couple.

"No…she…she…" Was as far as Casey got before she lost the hold she had on her emotions, she was vaguely aware of Vera sitting next to her and pulling her close for a hug as she blurted out everything that had happened over the last few days and the fears that had kept her awake all night. "Sorry, that's probably too much information."

"It's fine, why don't you go and wash that pretty face of yours whilst I get us some tea?" Suggested Vera.

Nodding Casey headed to the small bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face before heading back to the table where Vera was waiting for her with the promised tea, "Thank you."

"It's no trouble at all. Now, tell me, do you love Alex?"

"More than anything." Replied Casey.

"And she loves you?"

"Yes, I think so."

"And you're sorry for what happened?"

"Very much so." Replied Casey hanging her head.

"Then you will work it out, love overcomes all. I've known Alex many years and I've never seen her as in love with anyone as she is with you."

Before Casey could reply her phone began to ring, recognising Abbie's number she quickly answered, "Abbie?"

"She's awake and wants to see you. I'm going to take her parents for some food, give you time to talk." Replied Abbie.

"Thank you."

"Just don't screw it up." Replied Abbie before hanging up.

"That was Abbie, Alex is awake and wants to see me." Explained Casey.

"Then what are you doing still sitting here. Go." Smiling at the older woman Casey reached into her purse for her wallet. "No charge, just promise to let me know how she is and tell her to get better soon."

"I will. Thank you." Smiled Casey, giving the other woman a quick hug she headed back to her truck and headed towards the hospital.

Reaching Alex's room she took a few deep breaths before heading inside, seeing Alex awake she gave her a small smile, "Hi."

"Hi." Whispered Alex.

"How you feeling?" Asked Casey stepping further into the room.

"Like I was run over by a truck." Replied Alex with a small smile that made her wince.

"You need anything?" Asked Casey, sitting in the chair near Alex's bed.

"You, I need you to choose me." Replied Alex, reaching out for Casey's hand.

"Alex, there is no choice to be made. I know we need to talk and there are things we need to discuss, but I love you and I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you too." Whispered Alex, her eyes closing from the medication.

"Sleep, I'll be here when you wake up." Promised Casey.

"Read to me?" Asked Alex.

"Always." Smiled Casey, reaching for the book she started to read, carrying on long after Alex had fallen asleep.

"


	12. Chapter 12

Casey was still reading when Abbie and the elder Cabot's returned from dinner, marking her place in the book she slipped it back on the table, before greeting them, "Nice dinner?"

"It was lovely. How's Alex been? Has she woken up anymore?" Asked Laura, fussing with the blanket covering her daughter.

"We spoke briefly and then she fell asleep on me. I guess I should work on my conversational skills." Smiled Casey.

"Your conversational skills are fine the way they are. As are all your other skills." Mumbled Alex, making Casey blush a deep shade of pink.

"Well okay then." Laughed Abbie, "Who wants coffee?"

"I'll give you a hand." Offered Casey, pressing a gentle kiss to the back of Alex's hand she stood and followed Abbie into the corridor. The two walked in silence until they stepped on the empty elevator, "Thank you for calling me and giving us time to talk and for everything really, you've been great."

"Of course. You two okay?" Asked Abbie.

"I think so, I'm sure at some point we are going to have the 'You slept with someone else.' Conversation but for now, I'm just glad she's awake and going to be okay. I really do love her."

"Good. Just know that if you ever make her cry like that again I'll kick your ass from here to Texas and back again." Warned Abbie with a glare.

"Noted. But, I promise you won't need to, I love Alex and I will spend the rest of my life making sure she knows how much." Replied Casey as they stepped off the elevator.

"Good, because I'm getting too old for that shit." Grinned Abbie, "Not that I would ever admit that to Alex, she would be far too smug about it."

"Your secret's safe with me….maybe." Smirked Casey.

"Jerk." Muttered Abbie.

"Come on Old Girl I'm buying." Replied Casey bumping her shoulder gently against Abbie's as they headed towards the coffee cart.

When they returned ten minutes later Alex was once again asleep the medication no doubt still making her drowsy, they drank their coffee whilst sharing easy conversation before Casey insisted Abbie, Alexander and Laura head home whilst she stayed with Alex. Once they were alone, Casey pressed a soft kiss to Alex's lips before picking up the book and reading until her eyes grew heavy and she fell asleep, Alex's hand held lightly in her own.

* * *

><p>Waking up Alex could tell by the inky sky outside her window that she had been asleep for several hours, feeling someone holding her hand she looked over at Casey, asleep in the chair, the book she had been reading clutched lightly in her hand. As she watched the steady rise and fall of Casey's chest she wished she could move and brush the lock of hair covering Casey's eyes behind her ear and press a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth like she had done a hundred times before.<p>

As she let the silence settle around her, snippets of the accident filtered back to her, Serena telling her she and Casey were getting back together, the sound of breaking glass, the scraping of metal on metal and the feeling of blood soaking her shirt. Serena begging her to stay awake for Casey, telling her everything was going to be okay all the things you told someone when you were afraid they were going to die. As the images played in her mind she began to panic her breathing become shallow, making the attached machines bleep in alarm.

Casey was jarred from her sleep by the loud bleeping of the machines, jumping to her feet just a doctor and a nurse rushed into the room ordering her to wait outside whilst they attended to the blonde. Pacing the small waiting room outside Alex's room Casey felt as if her heart was going to beat out of her chest as she waited for them to come and tell her what was happening. As the minutes ticked by she debated just going back into the room and demanding to know what was going on, just as she made a decision to do just that the doctor stepped into the corridor.

"What's going on? Is she okay? Is it her heart?" Demanded Casey.

"It seems that Miss Cabot had a panic attack no doubt brought on by memories of the crash returning now the medication is starting to wear off. She seems to have calmed down now and there should be no adverse effects."

"Okay, so can I go back in?" Asked Casey.

"Of course, just try to keep her calm." Replied the Doctor with a small smile.

Nodding Casey headed back into Alex's room, "Hey Beautiful."

"I want you to leave." Replied Alex her voice devoid of all emotion.

"What? Why?" Asked Casey frowning in confusion.

"She told me." Replied Alex in a bitter tone.

"Who told you what?" Asked Casey her confusion growing by the moment, "Alex, Sweetie you're not making any sense."

"Do not tell me to calm down. Serena, she told me you two talked about getting back together." Snapped Alex, before wincing as pain tore through her chest.

"Alex, calm down please. You're going to hurt yourself, please." Begged Casey.

"Leave." Ordered Alex, reaching for her call button.

Realising Alex was intending to force her to leave, Casey moved the call button out of Alex's reach and gently sat on the edge of the bed taking Alex's hand in her own. "Alex, just listen to me, please."

"No." Replied Alex turning her head away in an effort to hide her tears.

"Of all the stubborn…." Mumbled Casey under her breath as she dragged a hand through her hair and took a deep breath, "Alex, I want you. I love you. Me and Serena are done, we talked right after the accident and I told her that it was you, it has been you from the moment we met. Alex, I made a mistake, more than one, but I love you and I want to put it right."

"She's your first love." Whispered Alex turning to face Casey.

"That's true and there will be a small part of me that always loves her because she made me the person I am today. Alex, she might be my first love but you are my last love, my only love, the one I want to spend my life with." Replied Casey in a firm voice.

"How do I know you're not just saying that whilst I'm in here." Asked Alex her voice softer and more venerable than Casey had ever heard it.

"Alex, I love you, you fixed me in ways I wasn't sure could ever be fixed, you made me dream again. Dream of a future with marriage and children, one in which we die in each other's arms when we are old and grey after a long and happy life together. I can't turn back the clock and undo what is done, I wish I could but I can't. All I can do is promise you that from now until the day I die I will love you, want you and be faithful to you. Please Alex, give me a chance to do that." Begged Casey.

"I love you." Whispered Alex.

"I love you too." Replied Casey leaning down she pressed a soft kiss to Alex's lips before using her thumbs to wipe the tears on Alex's cheeks, "Don't cry my beautiful girl."

"I thought I had lost you." Whispered Alex.

"You will never lose me, I promise." Smiled Casey pressing their lips together in a feather light kiss, "Now get some sleep, I need you to get better so we can start on our life."

"You'll stay?" Asked Alex in a quiet voice.

"Until the end of time." Promised Casey.

"Do you swear it on fish fingers and custard?" Asked Alex with a grin.

"I swear on fish fingers and custard, that I will always be by your side." Smiled Casey, pecking Alex on the lips before standing up and ordering, "Sleep."

"You too." Replied Alex with a yawn.

"Once you're asleep I'll take a nap on the couch." Promised Casey, tucking the blanket around Alex.

"You can go home, you know."

"I am home, where ever you are that's my home. I love you and I will be by your side until you're discharged and then we need to have a conversation about our living arrangement, because I never want to spend another night without you by my side." Replied Casey dropping a gentle kiss on the tip of Alex's nose, making the blonde smile.

"Charmer." Smiled Alex.

"It's the truth. Now sleep." Replied Casey, lightly stroking the back of Alex's hand.

"Yes boss." Mumbled Alex, her eyes already drifting closed.

As Casey sat watching Alex sleep, she hoped she had gotten through to the blonde and Alex was sure of her feelings for her, she knew she still had a lot of making up to do but she was willing to do anything to prove to Alex that she was one hundred percent invested in their relationship. Walking to the window she looked up and the stars and said a silent prayer of thanks that Alex was alive and would make a full recovery. Looking at her tired reflection in the glass she dragged a shaking hand through her hair, as her mind replayed the loud bleeping of the machines that had jolted her from her slumber and the fear they sent through her she felt her own heart start to race.

As she thought about how close she came to losing Alex she was forced to cover her mouth with her hand as she started to cry, sliding down the wall, she pulled her knees up to her chest as she tried to catch her breath. She had spent so long being alone because she was frightened of being hurt and Alex was almost taken from her in a cruel twist of fate. It took ten minutes for her tears to subside, standing she walked across to Alex's bed, letting her hand linger on Alex's arm, taking comfort from the warmth of her skin, the steady rise and fall of her chest and the light snore that filled the otherwise silent room.

Walking across to the small couch Casey slumped down, the emotions of the last few days catching up with her, pulling the blanket over her lap and closed her eyes and imagined a life with Alex, a plan forming in her mind as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>Serena took a deep breath as she stepped off the elevator, despite the assurance she had received from Abbie in the three hour conversation they shared the night before, that she would be welcome there was a part of her that expected Alex to tell her to leave. Taking another deep breath she knocked lightly on the door, "Hi, are you up for a visitor?"<p>

"Sure, come in." Smiled Alex, wincing as she tried to push herself up into a seated position.

"Here let me." Offered Casey helping Alex into a comfortable position, "Better?"

"Thank you." Smiled Alex.

"Always." Smiled Casey, pressing a light kiss to her girlfriends' cheek before addressing Serena, "Here sit, you look better."

"Thanks." Smiled Serena.

"Case, why don't you go get something to eat." Suggested Alex.

"If you're sure?" Asked Casey.

"Positive." Smiled Alex.

"Okay, I have my cell, call me if you need me." Replied Casey picking up her purse.

"Promise." Smiled Alex, pulling Casey close for a deep kiss, she knew it was petty but she wanted there no be no doubt who Casey belonged to.

As the kiss ended Casey was a little breathless, "Wow. Okay then. I'll just…just get some lunch and run a couple of errands."

"Have fun." Called Serena. She had watched the kiss between the two and understood Alex's motivation even if Casey didn't. She was pleased to find that it didn't hurt to see Casey so obviously in love with Alex, rather, she was pleased that the woman she once loved, would always love in some small way was happy.

"So…" Started Alex.

"I Guess…" Started Serena at the same time, making them both smile, "After you."

"I wanted to thank you for saving my life, you could have left me no one would have blamed you."

"Alex, I meant what I said, losing you would have destroyed Casey. She loves you and I'm happy for you both." Replied Serena with a genuine smile.

"I thought you wanted her back?"

"I….I thought I did to, but I was chasing a memory." Replied Serena.

"I don't understand."

Taking a deep breath Serena dragged a hand through her hair, "From the moment I first met Casey I was taken with her, despite being one of the hottest girls in school she had no idea how attractive she was, she was so awkward it was adorable. From the moment we started dating she was nothing but loving and considerate….Casey has this way of making you feel as if you're the only person in the world and I was so in love with her that I thought we would be together forever. When we started college and got our apartment I was so happy and then I made the biggest mistake of my life and left her. I was so sure I was doing the right thing and maybe it was, but the way I did it wasn't. She deserved better, deserves better."

Pausing to wipe the tears on her cheeks, Serena took a shaky breath, "I heard about her accident and I came back, I went to the hospital….I couldn't go in, it was selfish but I wasn't willing to give up my dream to take care of her. Not that I didn't love her….I just…"

"Had ambitions." Added Alex in a quiet voice.

"Yeah. She doesn't know…."

"I won't say anything." Promised Alex.

"Thank you. I knew if I saw her, looked into her eyes I would crumble and stay and then one day I would resent her. I was so sure I could go away and she would wait for me, God that sounds so selfish. I missed her every day, I would pick up the phone to call her or start an email and chicken out, if I went home and I knew she was in town I'd hide from her and the more time that passed the harder it became."

"Then why come back now?" Asked Alex.

"Because I was done running and I wanted to start again and part of me still believed Casey would be waiting for me. That first day I saw her, I could see in her eyes that there was someone else, but I thought her feelings for me would overcome that and we were meant to be together. I couldn't accept the truth that those feelings weren't there anymore, for either of us. It was as if we needed to sleep together to realise it and gain closure, get the ending I never allowed us so we could both move on."

"Then why taunt me?"

"Ego." Replied Serena.

"And now?"

"I will always care for Casey, we shared a lot of firsts and that doesn't go away, but I'm not in love with her, I was in love with a memory. Casey loves you, you are the centre of her universe and I want nothing but good things for both of you and I hope one day we can be friends." Replied Serena.

"I'd like that." Replied Alex reaching out she gave Serena's hand a warm squeeze.

"Good." Smiled Serena.

"So, you and Abbie…" Asked Alex with a grin as Serena flushed a deep shade of pink.

* * *

><p>Leaving the hospital Casey pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled a familiar number, "Kim, it's me. I need a favour."<p> 


	13. Chapter 13

Hanging up Casey headed towards the restaurant where she was meeting Kim, her friend having refused to help until they talked. Pulling into a parking space she could see Kim's car a few spaces down from where she was parked, taking a deep breath she climbed out and headed inside. Scanning the crowd she saw Kim waiting at a table by the window reading something on her cell phone her expression unreadable as Casey sat down opposite her. "Kimberley."

"Cassandra." Greeted Kim, putting her cell phone in her purse.

"Let's get this over with." Sighed Casey.

"Look Case, I'm not trying to be a bitch or rain on your parade, I like Alex and I think she's really good for you. But, you're my best friend and I love you like a sister so it's my job to make sure you are certain about such a big decision. So, I'm only going to ask this once and if you tell me you're sure then I will help you in any way I can." Explained Kim.

"Then ask." Replied Casey although her tone was softer than before, knowing Kim was right and she would ask the same thing if she was in Kim's place.

"Do you want to marry Alex because you love her or because you feel guilty for sleeping with Serena and then Alex almost died in a car crash." Asked Kim.

Casey considered Kim's question for moment, she did feel guilty for cheating on Alex and the fact Alex almost died in a car crash defiantly had an impact on her it would be a lie to say otherwise, but that wasn't why she wanted to propose. She wanted to be married to Alex because she loved her, she wanted to be with her for the rest of her life. "Kim, I love her, she completes me and just being with her makes everything better, we don't even have to be doing anything special, just sharing a coffee or a cuddling on the couch watching the news or one of those awful baking programs Alex loves so much. I can spend all day with her and still miss her the moment she leaves the room and the thought that I could have lost her frightens me more than I can say. There are a hundred reasons I want to marry Alex and none of them are guilt or pity. She is my solace, my confidant and my soul mate. Does that answer your question?"

"Yeah. Yeah that about covers it." Replied Kim, "I had to ask Case, if it was the other way around you would do the same."

"Your right." Admitted Casey with a smile, "Although, I've given up on you and Benson tying the knot."

"Not sure that's ever going to happen." Smiled Kim.

"Everything okay between the two of you?" Asked Casey with a frown, "You need me to kick her ass?"

"I doubt you could, but I appreciate the offer." Smiled Kim.

"I find your lack of faith disturbing." Replied Casey with a smirk, "Seriously though, you guys okay?"

"I got offered a job in DC, leading up a domestic violence task force, it's a big deal and they sought me out." Replied Kim.

"That's fantastic!" Smiled Casey. She knew it was a big deal for Kim, her goal had always been to work on domestic violence awareness and make the punishments harsher, that's why they called her the 'Crusader' around the office.

"Not really. Liv refuses to come with me even though there's a Sergeant position available for her in DC and I don't want to do long distance, I'm ready for the next step, so we've reached an impasse." Explained Kim.

"Oh Kim…" Started Casey only to be interrupted by Kim.

"It'll be fine." Replied Kim, using her hand to waft away Casey's concern, "Now, let's eat and then go find your woman a ring."

"Fine, but when you're ready to talk I'm here for you." Replied Casey.

"I know and I love you for it." Smiled Kim, before tuning her attention to her menu.

Finishing their meal they headed towards a jewellers Casey had looked at on-line, heading inside Casey was instantly drawn to ring, "Can I see that one please?"

"Of course." Smiled the jeweller handing Casey the ring, "It's a platinum band with a princess cut sapphire, framed with two princess cut diamonds. It's a beautiful ring."

"It really is." Smiled Kim.

"You think Alex will like it?" Asked Casey.

"Case, it's gorgeous, she'll love it."

"I'll take it." Smiled Casey, "Can you engrave on the band?"

"Or course, just write what you would like written in capital letters and I'll have it done for you within the hour."

"Thank you." Smiled Casey handing across her credit card she wrote her message and handed it over to the sales assistant, who looked slightly puzzled.

"I just want to check what you've written; 'Fish fingers & custard.' Is that correct?"

"Yep. It's a strange a thing we do." Smiled Casey.

"Okay." Replied the sales girl handing Casey the slip to sign she told them to come back in an hour to collect the ring.

As Kim had to head back to the office Casey decided to wander around the local bookstore, knowing Alex would soon be bored and craving something to keep her mind occupied. Picking up some puzzle books and a few titles she thought would interest Alex she headed to the in house coffee shop and brought a coffee as she tried to work out what she was going to say. Pulling out a pen she stared jotting random thoughts on her napkin until it was time to go and pick up her ring.

* * *

><p>Alex quickly found herself enjoying Serena's company, she had wanted to hate her but Serena was funny and smart and they had a lot in common including a slight crush on Regina from Once Upon a Time, a love of the law and shoes.<p>

Their conversation was interrupted by a light knock on the door and a grinning Abbie poking her head into the room, "If you two are gonna fight let me get some jello and a video camera."

Rolling her eyes at her friend Alex replied, "Actually I was just telling Serena about the time your mum dragged you out a lecture by your ear because your ex-girlfriend called and told her you had suggested making a 'video of your time together.'"

"Don't believe a word of it, my mama is very proud of her baby girl." Replied Abbie as she pressed a kiss to the top of Alex's head, "Hey Serena, how's the leg?"

"Itchy." Grimaced the blonde.

"Something I'm sure Abbie knows all about." Smirked Alex.

"You know, I liked you better when you were unconscious." Muttered Abbie.

"Liar." Grinned Alex.

"How long have you two been friends?" Asked Serena with a smile.

"Since Ally tried to get me into bed in law school." Replied Abbie.

"How many times Carmichael, the only we are ever going to get hot and steamy together is, if we make a pot of tea."

"Ouch." Muttered Alex.

"Would you like some Aloe Vera for that burn?" Asked Serena with a grin.

"I see how it is. Gang up on me." Replied Abbie.

"Ahh poor baby. Want me to call your mama?" Asked Alex.

"Or I could call your mum and ask her to come sit with you." Replied Abbie.

"I hate you." Muttered Alex, she loved her parents dearly but her mother's constant fussing was already driving her insane.

Laughing at the banter between the two friends, Serena's stomach was once again filled with butterflies at the sound of Abbie's throaty chuckle, a blush working its way down her neck when she realised she was staring at the dark haired woman with her mouth open. Realising someone had called her name her blush deepened, "Huh, sorry I was miles away?"

"I asked if you had heard anything about the driver who hit us?" Asked Alex.

"He took a deal, fifteen years all in." Replied Serena.

"What about the driver of the cab?" Asked Alex.

"He died on impact." Replied Serena in a quiet voice as images from the day flooded her mind.

Abbie watched the sadness cloud Serena's beautiful blue eyes and without really processing what she was doing walked around the bed and pulled the younger woman in for a hug and whispered, "It's okay, you're both okay."

"I'm sorry it's just….I'm sorry." Mumbled the blonde leaning further into Abbie's embrace.

"I understand. I don't really remember much but what I do remember is horrid." Replied Alex in a soft voice.

Abbie moved so she could hug both of the blondes as the three of them lapsed into silence each imagined the worst case scenario. After a few minutes Abbie grinned, "You know, I've had dreams like this."

"What two woman who can't run away from you?" Asked Serena with a smile.

"Ha, I knew I liked you." Smiled Alex, leaning around Abbie and giving Serena a high-five.

"You wound me with your words." Replied Abbie placing a dramatic hand over her heart.

"Poor baby." Smiled Serena, pressing a soft kiss to Abbie's cheek, a blush creeping down her neck as she realised what she had done, "I should get going, my sister is waiting for me downstairs."

"Thank you for everything." Replied Alex with a smile, "Promise me you won't be a stranger?"

"Promise. I'm sorry our conversation was necessary but I'm glad we can move on and be friends." Replied Serena.

"Me too, thank you for talking to me, I know it couldn't have been easy." Smiled Alex.

"I'm just pleased Casey is happy, you two make a great couple." Replied Serena with a genuine smile.

"I'll walk you out." Offered Abbie.

"I'd like that." Smiled Serena.

Giving Alex's shoulder a light squeeze Abbie said, "I'll check in on you later."

Giving Alex a small wave she followed Abbie into the corridor, "So you're a lawyer too, where do you work?"

"I'm kinda between jobs at the moment, but I heard a vacancy just opened at the DA's office so I'm going to apply there." Replied Abbie, pressing the button for the elevator.

"I'll cross my fingers for you, It'll be nice to see more of you." Replied Serena, seeing the smirk on Abbie's face she blushed and added, "I mean…I…you know what, let's just forget I said anything."

"Actually, I was wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me sometime. I know that might seem a little forward considering we've only just met and the whole Casey thing, but I would really like to get to know you better."

"I'd like that." Smiled Serena.

"Brilliant, how does Friday at seven sound? I know a great Italian." Suggested Abbie with a wide smile that gave Serena butterflies.

"Sounds perfect, I'm looking forward to it." Smiled Serena as she climbed into her sisters waiting car.

Watching until Serena's car was out of sight Abbie gave a fist bump, before schooling her expression into one of neutrality before heading towards her own car.

* * *

><p>Arriving back at the hospital Casey stopped by the gift shop and picked up a few trashy magazines and a copy of SiFi Now before heading up to Alex's room. Taking a deep breath she checked the ring was still in her pocket before heading inside, a smile crossing her face at the sight of the blonde asleep. Quietly put down her bags and pressed a soft kiss to the top of Alex's head, taking a second to study the sleeping woman she jumped when Alex spoke.<p>

"Thank God it's you." Muttered Alex opening her eyes and giving Casey a wide smile.

"Do other people sneak into your room and kiss you?" Asked Casey with a raised eyebrow.

"You'd be surprised." Grinned Alex, "No, I'm hiding from my mother."

"You can't get out of bed." Replied Casey with a confused expression.

"I know, so I'm limited in my options and faking sleep has had the most success." Replied Alex.

"Okay… I admire your resourcefulness." Smiled Casey.

"So can I have a real kiss now?" Asked Alex with a grin.

"I thought you'd never ask." Whispered Casey leaning down and claiming Alex's lips in a soft kiss.

"I love kissing you." Smiled Alex as the kiss ended.

"Ditto. Was everything okay between you and Serena after I left?"

"It was fine, she explained that she wasn't in love with you anymore, rather the memory of what you had." Replied Alex, watching Casey's reaction carefully.

"That's the perfect way to explain it, she was always good with words." Replied Casey with a smile, "Besides, she has a date with Abbie Friday evening."

"And you?" Asked Alex.

"I don't have a date with Abbie; apparently I'm not her type. I'm very sad about it." Grinned Casey.

"Smart ass." Mumbled Alex, rolling her eyes.

"I'm in love with you. Serena was my past you are my future. Which is why I have this." Replied Casey, taking the ring box out of her pocket she dropped to one knee. "Alex, I love you, I have from the moment you first smiled at me, it just took me a while to realise it. I love the way you chew on your glasses when you're thinking, the cute noises you make when you wake up and that you can't function without at least one cup of coffee. I love that you go out of your way to drop ten dollars in the homeless guy's cup every morning and I know it was you who paid for the motel room for him when it snowed, your compassion knows no bounds and I adore you for it. I love the way you fit against me when we sleep and the way your hand feels in mine when we hold hands and that all of my jumpers smell like you because you're always cold and refuse to wear your own. I know this might seem quick but life is short and I want to spend as much of it as I can as your wife. So, Alexandra Cabot will you marry me?"

"Casey I….I love you but…I this is…I don't know what to say." Relied Alex.

"Yes." Replied Casey her voice shaking with nerves.

"I…I love you." Stuttered Alex.

"I sense there's a but coming." Replied Casey.

"Casey….why now?" Asked Alex.

"Because I know I want to be with you, I know you are the only person I want to spend my life with. I want us to be married, have children and a life together. So why wait?" Asked Casey getting to her feet.

"Casey, I'm just not sure..."

"I see. I should go. I'm sorry." Replied Casey, leaving the ring on the table at the bottom of Alex's bed she picked up her purse she rushed out of the room, ignoring Alex's calls to come back.

**A/N; I know, I know...It will be a happy ending, I swear it on fish fingers and custard.**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N; Tripperz, I'd hate to think I ruined your Thanks Giving dinner, so this is for you. **

Casey only made it as far as the elevator before she realised how much of an idiot she was being, hitting her forehead with her hand she turned on her heel and headed back towards Alex's room. Reaching the door she felt her heart clench painfully at the sight of her girlfriend crying softly, taking another deep breath she walked into the room and gently pulled Alex into her arms, "I'm an idiot."

"You came back." Replied Alex through her tears.

"Always. I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have walked away like that." Admitted Casey.

"Casey, I do love you and I do want to be married to you and have children with you. It's just so much to process and my head is all over the place from the accident and we haven't really talked the thing with Serena through. I mean I know we talked but not really. There's still stuff we need to talk about and things we haven't even tried. We've never lived together, I haven't met your family, they might hate me and we've never even been on vacation. How can you know you want to marry me knowing all of that?"

"Alex, I adore you my parents already think you're good for me and they will love you. I know we haven't lived together properly but we spend most nights together and there is nothing I like more than making dinner together before curling up and watching a movie or even one of those baking programs you love so much. Fine, we haven't been on vacation together but that's something we can fix once you're released from here." Replied Casey.

"I don't like it when you run, it makes me feel off kilter and I don't like being off kilter. Our whole relationship its felt like you've had one foot out of the door, first it was because you were afraid of being hurt and I understand that I really do, after everything you went through it's to be expected. Then Serena came back and I think we both knew at some-point you were going to sleep with her and then you propose and I hesitate and you run again. I know you came back and I know you tried, but it still makes me feel like I can't fully trust you." Replied Alex, despite her words her voice was filled with love.

"I'm sorry you feel like that, it was never my intention to make you feel like you were my second choice or that I was waiting for something better. I love you and from the moment we met you were all I wanted." Replied Casey, silent tears on her cheeks.

Using her thumb to wipe the tears Alex whispered, "Don't cry my sweet girl."

"I'm sorry." Mumbled Casey swiping angrily at the tears on her cheeks.

"Casey, I know you love me I feel it when you touch me, when you kiss me and when you hold me. I've never doubted that, just that you love me enough to let me all the way into your beautiful heart."

"Alex, I do love you, I love you with everything I have and everything that I am." Whispered Casey, pressing a kiss to Alex's lips.

Resting their foreheads together Alex whispered, "I just need a little time to process everything. That doesn't mean I don't love you or that I don't want to be married to you and have a life together, because I do, I really do. It would be so easy to say yes, but I would be doing us both a disservice because I would have doubts and they would create a wedge between us. I just need time, so please, please don't run."

"I'm not going anywhere I promise, no more running. I love you Alex and when you're ready the ring is yours." Whispered Casey, tightening her hold on Alex as they lapsed into silence.

Just as Casey thought Alex had fallen asleep the blonde spoke, "You should go home…"

"You want me to go!" Asked Casey her voice full of hurt.

"Let me finish. You should go home and get some sleep, you look dead on your feet." Finished Alex.

"I'm fine, I don't want to leave you." Whispered Casey.

"Casey that couch can't be very comfortable and I'm still going to be here in the morning." Replied Alex with a smile.

"It feels like you're pushing me away." Whispered Casey.

"I'm not I promise. I just think you need some a shower, some proper food and a goodnights rest. We have the rest of our lives together, one night isn't going to change that." Promised Alex.

"Sure." Muttered Casey in a sad voice.

"Case…Please, I just…please." Whispered Alex.

"Okay, I'll be back bright and early." Replied Casey with a forced smile.

"I can't wait. Now come and give me a goodnight kiss to tide me over." Replied Alex with a gentle smile.

Casey couldn't hold back the real smile that crossed her face as she leant down pressing her lips against the blondes, moaning lightly as Alex tangled her fingers in her hair and pulled her closer deepening the kiss. As the kiss ended Casey was slightly dazed, "That was some kiss."

"Every kiss with me is some kiss." Smirked Alex.

"Jerk." Smiled Casey.

"You love me." Countered Alex with a wink.

"I do, with all of my heart and soul." Smiled Casey.

"I know." Replied Alex, "Now go home and get some sleep, I can have real food tomorrow so maybe you could pick me up some of Vera's pancakes on your way in?"

"Anything for you." Replied Casey with a small bow.

"In that case, I think I'll have one more of those kisses before you go." Smiled Alex.

"That I can do." Whispered Casey as she drew Alex close for another toe curling kiss.

"Go, before I do unspeakable things to you and get us thrown out of here or worse still arrested by the SVU squad." Grinned Alex.

"Spoil sport." Muttered Casey as she picked up her purse.

"I love you Casey, sleep well." Smiled Alex.

"I love you too and I'm just a phone call away if you need me, no matter the time." Replied Casey, pecking Alex on the check before leaving the room.

* * *

><p>As soon as the door closed behind Casey, Alex wanted to call her back missing her warmth already. Reaching out for the hooded jumper Casey had left there that morning Alex buried her face in it taking comfort from the lingering scent of her lovers' perfume. As she laid in her bed turning everything over in her mind, her eyes landed on the ring box Casey had left that afternoon, opening it she studied the ring again, as she took it out of the box she noticed the inscription for the first time and couldn't hold back the sob that burst from her throat.<p>

She loved Casey and so desperately wanted to say yes and live happily ever after but there were too many reasons it wouldn't work. She was sure both Casey and Serena were sincere in their apologies and assurances that there was nothing between them anymore, but she was still afraid that one day Casey would wake up and realise that she still loved Serena and she wasn't sure her heart could take that.

Then there was the way Casey always seemed to hold herself back, as if she was waiting for Alex to leave her and as patient as she had tried to be it was exhausting constantly avoiding arguments in fear that it would cause Casey to run. She kept so much of herself protected that it was as if there were parts of Casey she still didn't fully know, parts that she hadn't been allowed to see, might never get to see.

Hearing the door open she quickly wiped the tears on her cheeks and pushed herself into more of a seated position, pleased that the pain in her chest seemed to be lessening with each passing day, she was more than ready to go home and get back to work. Looking up she smiled at her visitor, "Hi dad, what are you doing here? I thought it was your club gala tonight."

Dropping a kiss on the top of his daughter's head he could see the tell-tell signs of tears on his daughters cheeks and also noticed that Casey was missing. "I wanted to check in on my beautiful daughter before heading to the gala, your mother would have come with me but I convinced her she was needed to supervise the seating. Are you okay? Where's Casey?"

"I sent her home for the night." Replied Alex in a miserable voice.

"Did you have a row?" Asked Alexander with a frown as he sat gently on the edge of his daughter's bed.

"Not exactly." Muttered Alex handing her father the ring Casey had left behind, "She proposed."

"Okay?" Replied Alexander confusion clear in his voice.

"Okay! Dad we've only been together a few months, it's too soon." Replied Alex.

"Did you know I proposed to your mother the day after I met her?" Asked Alexander.

"No." Replied Alex with a shake of her head.

"Yep, from the first moment she smiled at me I knew she was the one for me and there hasn't been a day since when I haven't looked at her smile and fallen in love with her all over again." Replied Alexander Cabot.

"Did it not worry you it was quick?" Asked Alex.

"It terrified me and I'm sure more than one person thought I was crazy, but I didn't care I was in love and I've never looked back. The day I married your mother was the happiest of my life, until the day you were born and then it became a tie. If you love her and you believe she loves you, no one else matters."

"But…" Started Alex before biting down on her lip. She didn't want to tell her father about Casey and Serena because it was more complicated than it sounded on the surface, it wasn't like Casey picked up some random woman in a bar and had sex with her.

"But Casey can be distant and cheated on you with her ex, Serena isn't it?" Replied Alexander with a raised eyebrow.

"How do you?" Asked Alex.

"Casey, she told me everything." Replied Alexander.

"Oh." Replied Alex in a soft voice.

"I think the fact she so readily admitted to her mistakes to both you and me show me that she is incredibly brave. Alex, I saw the look in her eyes as we waited for you to wake up, she was lost. She loves you and yes she made mistakes and I'm sure she will make more, you both will in your life together, but trust me on this, love trumps all."

"I love her daddy, I do…it just feel so quick and there are a hundred reasons it won't work."

"Ally, stop focusing on all the things that could go wrong focus on the things that might go right. At some point you have to take a leap of faith and I've seen the way that woman looks at you and I have no doubt that she loves you. She won't let you fall." Replied Alexander giving his daughters hand a loving squeeze.

"What if it's too late?" Whispered Alex.

"Well, judging by the fact she's sitting in the waiting room I'm sure it's not." Replied Alexander with a warm smile.

"I told her to go home and get some sleep." Replied Alex, finding that she wasn't surprised Casey hasn't actually left the hospital.

"Guess she's as stubborn as you."

"Will you…"

"I'll send her in." Smiled Alexander Cabot as he reached into his pocket pulling out a small box, "Oh, you'll probably need this."

"Grandma's ring?" Asked Alex confused.

"I saw the way you looked at Casey." Replied her father with a wink before standing and pressing a kiss to her cheek, "Good luck kiddo."

"You think you're so smart." Mumbled Alex.

"Of course, where do you think you get it from?" Asked Alexander with a chuckle as he stepped out of the door.

Less than a minute later the door opened again and a sheepish Casey stepped into the room, "Hi."

"I thought I told you to go home and get some sleep." Admonished Alex gently.

"I didn't want to leave, you know in case you needed me." Replied Casey shrugging her shoulders.

"Are you going to stand by the door all night or are you going to come and give me a kiss?" Asked Alex with a quirked eyebrow.

"When you put it like that." Smiled Casey, quickly crossing the room and claiming Alex's lips in a soft gentle kiss, "I missed you."

"It's been less than an hour." Smiled Alex, "But I missed you too."

"Sap." Smiled Casey.

"You told my father about you and Serena."

"I did." Replied Casey.

"Why? You didn't have to, I wouldn't have said anything."

"I know. Alex I love you and it physically hurts me that I hurt you and that I betrayed the trust you had in me. My father always told me that making a mistake isn't the end of the world, as long as you own up to it and learn from it, it's not a wasted experience. Sleeping with Serena showed me how much I love you, that it's you who holds my heart and I told your father because I want a clean slate before we move on and take the next step." Replied Casey.

"Your dad sounds like a wise man." Smiled Alex as she cuddled into Casey's side, "When I fell in love with you I was afraid, it happened so quickly. I'm a rational woman, I don't believe in love at first sight and then you smiled at me and I was lost. The happiest moment of my life was when I realised that you loved me too and that almost frightened me more. What if one day you realise that its Serena you really want?"

"Alex, I swear to you that there isn't a person in this world that I want more than you." Replied Casey.

"Prove it." Challenged Alex.

"How?" Asked Casey willing to do whatever it took to make Alex realise how much she loved her.

"Ask me again." Whispered Alex.

"Al…"

"Please." Asked Alex handing Casey the velvet box.

"Okay." Moving so she was kneeling on the floor Casey opened the box and frowned at the ring inside, it wasn't the one she had picked, this one looked antique "Al?"

"Marry me?" Replied Alex.

"I…yes." Mumbled Casey climbing back on to the bed and pressing a warm kiss to Alex's mouth.

"You're not very observant Novak." Replied Alex wiggling her hand in front of Casey's face her engagement ring firmly in place, before taking the box and slipping the ring on Casey's finger, before pulling her fiancée close for another deep kiss. "It was my grandmothers, my father gave it to me tonight and as I couldn't get down on one knee, I thought it would still work if you were the one on a knee." Explained Alex.

"We're getting married." Whispered Casey as she looked down at the ring on her finger.

"Yeah we are, you're stuck with me now." Smiled Alex, before being overtaken by a huge yawn.

"You should get some sleep." Whispered Casey, "I don't want you looking haggard in the wedding pictures."

"Jerk." Replied Alex, before yawning again.

"Sleep." Ordered Casey as she tried to move.

"Stay." Asked Alex.

"I will." Smiled Casey, "I'll sleep on the couch."

"No, stay next to me." Replied Alex.

"I don't want to hurt you." Replied Casey in a soft voice, "How about I stay until you're asleep?"

"Okay. Love you." Mumbled Alex her eyes already closing.

Pulling Alex close Casey whispered, "I love you too." As she gently stroked a hand through her fiancée's silky hair as her own eyes drifted closed.


	15. Chapter 15

Waking up the following morning, Casey gently turned her head, a wide smile crossing her face at the sight of the blonde still fast asleep in her arms, her face tucked against her shoulder. Looking down at her hand she smiled at the ring on her finger, she still couldn't believe that they were engaged, she loved Alex so much and couldn't wait to marry her and have a life together. She knew she there were things she needed to work on and resolved to make sure Alex never had cause to doubt her or her feelings about their relationship again. Looking down at her watch she saw it was just after seven and slipped out of the bed, checking in at the nurse's station she headed to the restroom to freshen up before making a quick call and heading back to Alex's room, where the nurse was just checking the blonde's vitals.

"How's she doing?" Asked Casey with a smile as she kissed Alex on the cheek.

"She's doing very well. I'll be back in a bit to change your dressings and the doctor will be around later this morning to check in on you." Smiled the nurse as she left the room.

"Thank you." Smiled Alex.

Once they were alone Casey pulled Alex close for a deep kiss, "Good morning fiancée."

"Good morning fiancée." Grinned Alex, "Where did you disappear to?"

"I just need the bathroom and had a quick call to make. Did you miss me?"

"Maybe." Replied Alex with a small glare before grinning at the face Casey was pulling, her very mature fiancée had stuck out her bottom lip and tilted her head to the side. "Oh, put it away before you trip over it."

"Not until you admit you missed me." Replied Casey.

"Fine. I missed you, are you happy now?" Asked Alex with a playful sigh.

"You can go off people you know." Muttered Casey with a wink.

Before Alex could answer there was a light knock at the door and Vera stepped into the room, "Delivery for Miss Cabot and her girlfriend, two portions of blueberry pancakes and real coffee."

As Alex looked between a smiling Vera and a slightly smug looking Casey, she asked, "How?"

"Your lovely girlfriend here told me you were allowed real food and had a hankering for pancakes and here I am. Plus, I wanted to make sure they were treating you okay, I even brought extras for the staff just to make sure." Explained Vera as she dished up.

"Thank you." Smiled Alex, moaning as she took a bite of pancake, "So good."

"So how are you?" Asked Vera, sipping her own coffee. Alex had been a regular in the diner for the last five years and in that time they had got to know each other well. She remembered the first time the two of them had shared a real conversation other than the weather, it was the middle of winter and Alex had arrived one evening in just her business suit, ordering a coffee she had just stared into the cup until it had gone cold. Vera had been watching her and took a fresh cup of coffee and gently asked a shaking Alex if she was okay, only for the blonde to burst into tears and haltingly tell her about the pressure of her job and her fear that her losing a trial had caused a young girl to try and take her own life. Vera had sat with her until she was calmer, instinctively knowing Alex wasn't much of a hugger she settled for fixing her some soup and giving her shoulder a reassuring squeeze. From then on they had become friends, Alex had even taken care of her when she slipped on the ice and sprained her ankle, helping out in the diner, bringing her groceries and keeping her company.

"I'm being very well looked after and according to the nurse doing well, I'm hoping they're going to let me out of here soon." Replied Alex with a soft smile.

"And is Casey taking care of you?" Asked Vera in a stage whisper, sending Casey a wink as she added, "Or do I need to set Henry on her?"

Giving a bark of laughter Alex imagined Vera's elderly spaniel chasing Casey, "She's been brilliant, even brought me this as an incentive to get better." Replied Alex wiggling her hand so the stones in her engagement ring caught the light.

"Show me." Ordered Vera making cooing noises as she examined Alex's ring and then Casey's.

* * *

><p>After Vera had left Casey had been called into the office for a meeting with Branch, leaving Alex to get some rest. As she laid in bed staring at the ring on her finger Alex couldn't hold back her smile, sure they had some work to do but they would get through it together. Not that she would ever tell him, but her father was right, she needed to take a leap of faith and trust Casey to catch her.<p>

Closing her eyes she tried to imagine her dream wedding, she knew family was important to them both and that Casey had a strong sense of faith so a church would be something she would want. Pulling Casey's IPad towards her, smiling at the picture of the two of them Casey used as a screen saver she opened the notepad and started making notes, by the time Casey returned two hours later she had a page of ideas and several bookmarked pages to show her fiancée.

Walking into Alex's room Casey smiled at the sight of the blonde studying something on her IPad she just hoped she wasn't working, "That better not be work."

"Wedding planning." Replied Alex with a smile, "How did it go with Branch?"

"Kiss first." Replied Casey, leaning down she pressed a soft kiss to Alex's lips, "I love kissing you."

"Good, because this ring says you have to kiss me for the rest of your life." Smiled Alex pulling Casey in for another kiss, "Now tell me, what did Branch want?"

"Well, how would you feel about a new co-worker in SVU?" Asked Casey with a smile.

"What about Kim?" Asked Alex with a frown.

"Kim accepted a job in DC leading a domestic violence task force, so Branch offered me her job. I told him about our relationship and he was okay with it. Abbie has just been taken on as the new homicide first chair and will be working with Serena." Explained Casey.

"That's great." Smiled Alex, hating the small roar of celebration inside her head, knowing Casey wouldn't be working with Serena anymore.

"So, you're okay with it?" Asked Casey.

"Very much so." Grinned Alex, "When do you start?"

"Well, I spoke to your doctor just now and providing you continue to improve you should be able to go home next week and will be fine to go to my parent's party at the end of the month. So, I arranged to start full time when we get back. In the meantime, I will hand my cases over to Abbie and spend some time with Kim going over your open cases."

"That's great." Smiled Alex.

"I also gave my notice to my landlord, so in a month I'll be homeless, unless you take pity on me." Replied Casey with a nervous smile.

"I think I can find some space for you." Grinned Alex, pulling Casey close for a deep kiss, "Now, come spend your Friday evening planning our wedding."

"Yes boss." Replied Casey with a smile as she pulled Alex close so they could both see the IPad.

* * *

><p>Arriving outside Serena's apartment Abbie ran through her last minute check list, check teeth for spinach, check. Check breath is fresh, check. Hair is smoothed down, check. Satisfied she was presentable she raised her hand she knocked lightly on the door, as she waited for the blonde to answer she tried to figure out what it was that drew her towards Serena. As a rule she avoided relationships, but something about Serena had attracted her instantly, despite the fact she had wanted to dislike the blonde for hurting her friend. She was pulled from her thoughts by a throaty chuckle.<p>

"You look like you're trying to work out three across in the Times crossword." Smiled Serena.

"Well I know the answer now, breath taking." Grinned Abbie as she took in Serena's black slacks chosen to hide the worst of the pink cast, deep blue silk shirt and fitted jacket.

"What was the question?" Asked Serena with a tilt of her head.

"What two words describe your date for the evening?" Replied Abbie.

"Charmer." Smiled Serena.

"It's the old Southern charm at play." Grinned Abbie as they headed towards the elevator at a slow pace owing to Serena's broken leg.

Good naturedly rolling her eyes, Serena said, "Thank you for the flowers by the way."

"It was my pleasure." Smiled Abbie.

The drive to the restaurant was filled with easy conversation and light flirting, once they had ordered Abbie smiled, "I'm really please you agreed to have dinner with me."

Sitting back in her chair Serena studied the woman in front of her, "So, this wasn't just a way to make sure I stayed away from Casey?"

"No. I don't think Casey would be stupid enough to cheat on Alex again, no offence."

"None taken. She really does love Alex." Replied Serena with a genuine smile.

"I know, you only have to look at the goofy grin on her face to see it. I wanted to dislike you and then you smiled at me and I was lost." Giving a small chuckle she went on, "God, that sounds corny, but it's true. There's something about you that makes me want to get to know you, to know what you do to relax, what you do on rainy weekends, what your favourite flavour ice cream. So, no this has nothing to do with Alex and Casey."

"Let's see, to relax I like to read, as crazy as it sounds I like the legal thrillers, like Marcia Clark or the classics, Wuthering Heights is my favourite. Rainy weekends are spent watching black and white movies curled up on the couch. I don't really like ice-cream or chocolate for that matter, I prefer savoury things. Oh, and I rarely drink coffee, I prefer tea. Your turn." Replied Serena with a smile.

"I like Marcia Clark but I prefer Science Fiction, don't tell anyone but I'm a bit of a Trekkie at heart, which is how I spend my rainy weekends, unless its football season. Go Cowboys! I drink a lot of coffee, the only tea I like is sweet and iced and my favourite ice-cream is mint choc chip." Replied Abbie, finishing just as the waitress arrived with their food.

The rest of the meal passed far too quickly for Serena who found herself enjoying Abbie's company more with each passing minute they spent together, she was funny, smart, quick witted and easy to talk to. Every time Abbie smiled at her, her stomach filled with butterflies, she hadn't felt this way about someone since Casey. As they reached her apartment she found herself debating inviting Abbie inside, she was still deciding when Abbie spoke.

"I had a really nice time tonight."

"Me too." Replied Serena with a warm smile.

"Does that mean I get a goodnight kiss?" Asked Abbie a grin in place.

"That depends, are you going to invite me out again?" Asked Serena with a raised eyebrow.

Abbie's reply was swift, "How does a movie sound on Sunday? I know a place that shows old black and white movies."

"Like a goodnight kiss." Grinned Serena stepping forward she pressed her lips against Abbie's, moaning softly as the taller woman pulled her close and deepened the kiss. Several kisses later Serena let herself into her apartment a wide smile still on her face as she drifted off to sleep.

* * *

><p>The following weeks were a whirlwind of activity, Alex continued to improve and was discharged from hospital with strict instructions to relax and take things easy, something Casey strictly enforced. Casey was officially an SVU ADA, handing her last homicide case over to Abbie the week before and would be back at work full time after their week with her family. Abbie and Serena had shared several more dates. With the help of their friends Casey cleared out her apartment and was formally moved in with Alex, combining their house warming with Kim's leaving party. Kim and Olivia were still debating their future, deciding they would give long distance a try at least for a few months before making a final decision, both were miserable without the other but were too stubborn to say.<p>

Having just finished packing for their trip to meet Casey's parents at the weekend, Alex stared at her reflection in the mirror, slowly pulling her shirt to the side revealing the still raised scar marking her recent brush with death and gave a sad sigh. She wasn't a vain woman, but she had always taken care of her appearance, and now she had an ugly scar, Casey had been nothing but loving and patient, yet Alex still worried she would be repulsed by her scar. She was so wrapped up in her thoughts she hadn't heard Casey enter the room.

Casey had watched Alex from the doorway she could see the sadness on her face and suddenly realised why Alex had been so shy about changing in front of her and her shirt choices. Giving a soft sigh she walked over and placed her hand on the small of Alex's back and whispered, "You are so beautiful."

Yanking her shirt back to cover the scar Alex met Casey's eyes in the mirror, "No I'm not." Her voice harsh.

"Do you find the scares on my leg repulsive?" Asked Casey in the same soft voice.

"No! You're beautiful….I would never…"

"Then why would you think I would be turned off by yours?" Asked Casey interrupting Alex's ramblings.

"It's horrible." Replied Alex aware her voice sounded whiney.

"No it's not. Alex it shows how tough you are, that you survived." Replied Casey, as her hands started unbuttoning Alex's buttons starting at the bottom of her shirt. Making sure to keep her eyes locked with Alex's as she reached the last button she whispered, "I wish you could see you the way I do. You are so beautiful."

"Case…" Started Alex only to moan as Casey's mouth made its way to the side of her throat.

"Let me make love to you." Whispered Casey between kisses.

Unable to form a verbal reply Alex just turned in Casey's embrace, claiming her lips in a fierce kiss as she pushed her back towards their bed, landing with a soft laugh.

Pressing Alex back against the pillows Casey pressed a soft kiss to her lips, before whispering, "You're so beautiful. I love you Alexandra."

"I love you too." Replied Alex with a smile.

Removing the rest of the blondes clothes Casey felt her breath hitch as she took in the beauty before her, "So damn sexy."

"Well are you just going to stare or…." Started Alex only to giggle at the speed of which Casey removed her own clothes and re-joined her on the bed, making it bounce slightly.

Pulling Alex close Casey claimed her lips in a heated kiss as her hands stoked random patterns across her lovers skin, making them both gaps as her fingertips brushed against hard nipples, fingertips were quickly replaced by an eager mouth.

Feeling Casey's mouth found her aching nipples Alex scraped her nails across Casey's back sure she would leave marks but not caring as her lover's talented tongue teased her breasts. As she arched her back she moaned loudly as her throbbing centre brushed against Casey's strong thigh, "Oh God…Oh Casey."

Feeling Alex's wetness against her thigh Casey kissed her way back up to Alex's moth, looking into Alex's hazy blue eyes she ordered, "Keep your eyes open for me." Feeling Alex nod she lightly brushed her fingers through the blondes soaked centre, moaning as she felt how excited her lover was, "Tell me Alex, tell me what you want."

"Make love to me." Panted Alex.

Claiming Alex's lips in a deep kiss she entered her with two fingers, moaning as she felt Alex arch up off the bed, pressing herself hard against her, their hard nipples touching sending sparks through her body at the sensation, "Beautiful." Moaned Casey as she watched the pleasure on Alex's face.

"Oh Case! Yes!" Moaned Alex.

"Cum for me." Whispered Casey, curling her fingers she felt Alex start to tremble and leaned down to take a stiff nipple into her mouth teasing it with her tongue as her thumb brushed against Alex's swollen clit. The joint sensations to cause Alex's moans to increase in volume as she came hard against Casey.

Slumping back against the pillows Alex moaned as Casey trail a blazing trail of kisses across her stomach, tangling her fingers in Casey's long hair guiding her towards her sensitive nipples. Giving a loud groan of disappointment as Casey just places a soft peck on each nipple, before giving her a smirk and resume her slow journey towards her throbbing centre.

Reaching the bottom of Alex's stomach she moaned as the scent of the blondes arousal reached her. Moving so Alex's legs were resting on her shoulders, she sent Alex a smile before dipping her head and swiping her tongue through the waiting wetness, moaning at the taste of Alex's excitement. Feeling the blonde arch up from the bed she pressed her hand to the bottom of Alex's stomach, "Stay still or I stop." Ordered Casey.

"Oh God." Muttered Alex as she forced herself to keep as still as possible as she felt Casey's tongue deep inside her, feeling her orgasm approaching quicker than she had thought possible she gripped the sheets in her fists, as a powerful climax tore through her.

Keeping her strokes soft Casey held Alex in place as she rode out her orgasm, Casey gave her a moment to recover, whilst she peppered the sensitive skin on the inside of her thighs with kisses and small nips. Feeling Alex's breathing start to settle she returned her attention to Alex's still sensitive centre, brushing her clit with the tip of her tongue, before adding more pressure to her strokes. Feeling Alex's orgasm approaching she entered the blonde, almost being knocked to the floor as Alex arched up from the bed, pumping her fingers faster it took just moments for Alex to cum for the third time.

"No more." Panted Alex as Casey started to kiss her way back up her body and claimed her lips in another gentle kiss, making Alex moan at the taste of herself. "I think you're trying to kill me."

"Never." Replied Casey with a grunt of surprise as she found herself pressed back against the pillows.

Pushing Casey against the pillows Alex grinned as she looked down at her smug looking fiancée, "My turn." Giving Casey a slow soft kiss Alex began kissing her way down her Casey's body, the scent of Casey's arousal causing her own arousal to spike once again. Forcing herself to keep her movements slow she lightly nipped Casey's nipple, making her moan before soothing it with her tongue before kissing across to the other nipple and repeating the action.

"Please." Panted Casey.

Taking pity on the woman below her Alex moved so she was between Casey's legs, the sight of her lover's arousal making her smile, knowing she was the cause of it. Leaning forward she lightly brushed her tongue through the wetness before her she leaned up claiming Casey's lips in a hard kiss, making them both moan at the taste of themselves on the others lips. Moving back down Casey's body she swiped her tongue once more through the waiting wetness.

Feeling Alex's mouth on her throbbing centre Casey threw her head back and moaned loudly, "Alexxxx. Yess…God yess!"

Alex could feel Casey's body start to tremble and so pulled back, making Casey's eyes slam open at the loss of contact, before Casey could speak she entered her with two then three fingers, making Casey throw her head back and moan loudly. Curling her fingers, Alex continued to tease Casey's clit with her tongue, until she came chanting Alex's name so loudly, Alex wondered if their neighbours heard, not that she cared.

Crawling back up Casey's body, she smiled as she felt Casey pull her close and place a soft kiss on her lips before whispering, "I love you Alexandra, never doubt that or how beautiful you are to me."

"I love you too." Replied Alex before sharing another soft kiss.


	16. Chapter 16

The following day they made the four hour drive to Casey's parent's home, for most of the journey they chatted and teased each other but the closer they got to their destination the more Alex's nerves increased. Casey had told her it took her mum a while to accept that she was gay, what if it was just Serena she accepted and not her? What if they thought their engagement was too quick and talked Casey out of it? What if they didn't think Alex was worthy of their daughter? She hadn't realised she was bouncing her leg up and down until Casey placed a gentle hand on her thigh giving it a light squeeze pulling her from her thoughts, "Huh?"

Giving her fiancée a loving smile Casey said, "Al, take a breath and try to relax, they will love you."

"What if…" Started Alex only to be cut off as Casey started to speak again.

"No. No what ifs. Alex, every time I speak to my mum she asks about you." Dropping her voice to 'imitate' her mother's voice, Casey carried on, "How's Alex? When are we going to meet Alex? I hope you're treating her right." Shaking her head she went on in her normal voice, "Honestly, she spends more time talking about you than me and I'm her only daughter."

Laughing at Casey expression Alex lifted the hand that was on her thigh and pressed a soft kiss to the back of it, "Thank you."

"For what?" Asked Casey with a slight frown.

"Talking me off the ledge, making me feel loved and wanting to marry me." Replied Alex with a smile.

"Always." Replied Casey with a smile before asking, "Are you ready?" Seeing Alex nod she smiled again, "Good, because we're here."

"Okay." Mumbled Alex looking up at the Victorian style house, with its neat garden, trimmed hedge and vintage VW camper van in the driveway and could see why Casey had such fond memories of growing up here.

"Ready?" Asked Casey as she cut the engine.

"Absolutely." Smiled Alex.

"I love you." Whispered Casey before climbing out opening Alex's door for her before grabbing their luggage.

"I love you too." Smiled Alex.

Taking advantage of their hidden position Casey pressed Alex up against the side of the truck and claimed her lips in a warm kiss before linking her hand with Alex's and making their way up the drive.

Before they reached the door a woman stepped out on to the porch, her resemblance to Casey was so strong she could only be her mother, "Cassandra you're early, I do hope you weren't speeding."

"No mum, we just got lucky with the traffic." Replied Casey, supressing what she was sure to be the first of many eye rolls over the weekend.

"Leave the girl alone." Scolded Derek Novak as he stepped towards them, taking the bags from Casey, "Good journey."

"Good company." Replied Casey giving Alex's hand a light squeeze as she made the introductions. "Mum, dad, this is Alexandra Cabot my fiancée. Alex this is my mum Anne and my father Derek."

"Hello Alex, it's lovely to finally put a face to the name." Greeted Anne Novak.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both." Replied Alex, shaking first Anne's hand and then Derek's, "Casey has told me lots about you both."

"Don't believe half of it." Replied Derek with a wink, "Now if you want stories about Casey and her teenage Elmo phase…"

"Emo dad, it's called an emo phase, not Elmo." Muttered Casey with a blush, "And Alex doesn't need to know about that."

"Oh Alex defiantly does!" Grinned Alex.

"Casey, help your dad take your bags up to your room. This way Alex, I'll make us some tea and show you the pictures." Smiled Anne linking her arm with Alex's and heading into the house.

"Guess it's just you and me then kiddo." Smiled Derek, "She's beautiful, you're a lucky woman."

"I know, sometimes I want to pinch myself I'm so lucky." Smiled Casey as they climbed the stairs towards her old room.

Putting the luggage down Derek turned to study his daughter, there was no doubt Alex had reignited her lust for life, there was a sparkle in her eyes and every time she said the blondes name a goofy smile would cross her face. "So my baby girl is getting married?"

Casey had been expecting the question, although she had thought it would have been her mum that asked it. "I know what you're thinking, but it's not a reaction to the accident or what happened with Serena…its more than that. It's crazy how much I love her, she's my everything. I know it seems quick to get married but I…just know she's the one for me and I don't want to wait. I spent so long keeping everyone at bay and hiding my heart and then Alex came along and…and fixed me. Made me want to take a chance. Dad she's the one." Replied Casey.

"Do you love her?" Asked Derek.

Without hesitation Casey replied, "With all my heart."

"And does she love you?" Asked Derek.

"More than I deserve." Replied Casey.

"Then that's good enough for me." Replied Derek, giving his daughter a warm hug.

"Dad, I…thank you." Whispered Casey, she knew it was her father that had helped her mother accept her sexuality and his unwavering love and support had helped her come to terms with who she was when she was growing up.

"You're my daughter I will love you no matter what. One day you'll understand that bond." Replied Derek, "Now, let's go find your mum before she tells Alex all your secrets."

Giving her father a warm smile Casey followed him down the stairs and towards the kitchen where they could hear Alex and Anne in conversation.

Showing Alex a picture of a young Casey seated at a piano. "So this was Casey when she was five. You have no idea the fight I had to get her to take piano lessons. Has she ever played for you? She has a beautiful voice."

"I didn't know she could play." Replied Alex, she knew Casey had a good voice the redhead was always singing in the car, the shower and would croon in Alex's ear whenever they danced together.

"I'm hoping she'll play for us whilst you're here." Replied Anne.

"I'll think about it, if you put the pictures away." Bargained Casey as she made her presence known.

"But Case we've only got as far as five and I want to see the Emo pictures. Oh and band camp." Grinned Alex.

"Muuummm." Whined Casey looking at her mother.

"Would you like some cheese with that whine?" Asked Anne fixing her daughter with a mild glare.

Pulling Casey into the seat next to her Alex fixed her with a smile, "I need to know the woman I'm marrying and see what our children will look like."

"Dad, help me out here." Asked Casey.

"Sorry Sweetie, you're on your own." Smiled Derek before leaning towards his wife adding, "Don't forget the videos." In a stage whisper.

"Thanks dad." Muttered Casey.

"Oh hush, have some cake and tell us about the wedding plans." Replied Anne.

"We haven't really started planning yet." Replied Alex with a small smile at the older woman opposite her, knowing what was coming after having had a similar conversation with her own mother.

"But we agree we want something small and intimate. Just family and close friends." Added Casey.

"Where were you thinking of getting married? When? Are you both going to wear dresses? It'll be so nice to see Casey in a dress, I don't think she's worn one since her Conformation, don't you think she should wear one Alex?" Asked Anne. Cutting off when there was a knock at the door, "That'll be our guests."

"I'll go." Offered Casey, sending Alex a supportive wink she headed towards the front door. Opening the door expected to see one of her aunts and uncles or one of her parent's friends she paled when she saw who was on the other side. "Mr and Mrs Cabot….um…hi?"

"I thought we were passed all the Mrs and Mr Cabot stuff, its Laura and Alexander." Smiled Alexander Cabot.

"Of course. Would you like to come in?" Offered Casey.

Noting Casey's confusion Alexander chuckled, "I take it you didn't know we were coming?"

"No, but you are welcome all the same. Please come in." Smiled Casey.

"Thank you." Smiled Laura, "Don't look so shocked, we're going to soon be family after all."

"Of course." Smiled Casey leading the way into the kitchen giving Alex a wide eye smile as she announced their visitors, "Alex, your parents are here."

"Oh." Mumbled Alex.

Rolling her eyes Anne stood to greet her guests, before chuckling at the matching looks of fear on her daughter and future daughter in laws face. "Look at you two, like a pair of rabbits in the headlights. I invited them to the party so we could all get to know each other and we could do some wedding planning."

"I brought magazines and brouchers." Added Laura Cabot.

Looking at all the magazines covering the table Derek shared a brief look with Alexander and asked, "I have a Mustang I've just finished if you want to go check it out Alexander? It needs a test drive."

"Sounds good to me." Replied Alexander Cabot, he loved his wife and daughter and was as excited as any of them about the upcoming wedding but dresses and cakes were not his thing.

"Great, Case you want to come check it out?" Asked Derek offering his daughter a small smile.

"You don't need me for this, do you?" Asked Casey with a hopeful expression.

"No. Go play with the car." Replied Alex with a smile at her fiancée, before sending her mother in law to be a wink.

"You're the best." Grinned Casey pressing a kiss to Alex's cheek before standing up.

"So pink taffeta for Casey's dress." Suggested Alex as she flicked through one of the magazines her mother had brought with her.

Slowly dropping back into her seat Casey glared at her father and future father in law who were both laughing heartily at her predicament, "Evil Cabot. Pure evil."

"That's why you love me." Smiled Alex, "But seriously if you want to go play with the car, I won't make you wear pink. Maybe."

"No, I'll stay, it's our day I should help." Replied Casey.

"So well trained." Whispered Anne as Laura nodded.

Groaning Casey pulled one of the magazines towards her and started flicking through the pages, "So how do we do this? We pick dresses and stuff?"

"First you need a date and location." Replied Laura.

"Okay." Replied Casey looking at Alex, "Any ideas?"

"When I was little I always wanted to get married in the snow, on Christmas Eve." Replied Alex.

"Then Christmas Eve it shall be and I'm sure if the weather refused to cooperate we can make snow." Replied Casey smiling as Alex pecked her on the cheek.

"So that gives us three months to organise everything, unless you want to wait until next year?" Asked Laura.

"No, this year." Replied Alex squeezing Casey's hand under the table.

"Okay, so you need to send save the date cards soon then, especially as it's near the holidays. So a location is the next big thing. What did you have in mind?" Asked Anne.

"Do you want a church? I know a few in New York allow same sex marriage." Added Laura.

Before they could answer Anne leaned forward and addressed her daughter, "Before you answer, I want you to remember that it's your day and whether you want a church, a hotel or even the Court House myself and your father will be there and be proud of you. I know when you were younger I struggled with your sexuality but I accepted it a long time ago. You're my only daughter and I love you, all I want is for you to marry someone who loves you and will always support you, looking at Alex I can see that you have found that person and I know the two of you will have a long and happy marriage. So this is your choice and you must do what is right for the both of you."

"Thank you mum, I love you too." Whispered Casey.

"I think a church would be nice." Added Alex, giving Casey a moment to compose herself.

"Okay then, I'll make some calls see where is available on Christmas Eve and then you can go and view them when you get back to New York." Smiled Laura.

The rest of the day passed quickly and as they were getting ready for bed that night, Casey wrapped her arms around Alex's waist and pulled her close, pressing soft kisses along her neck, "You do realise that in three months, one week and three days you're going to be my wife and that means you will be stuck with me forever."

Tilting her head to give Casey more access to her throat Alex replied, "I can't wait."

"Me either." Smiled Casey, as her hand started to creep under the blonde's shirt.

Catching Casey's hand Alex pressed a soft kiss to the back of it before turning in her fiancée's arms, "Don't pout, I'll make it up to you when we get home."

"You'll wear that little red lace teddy?" Asked Casey with a hopeful expression.

"You mean the one that somehow ended up in my case?" Asked Alex with an amused smile.

"Yeah, I don't know how that happened, but as you have it…" Suggested Casey wiggling her eyebrows suggestively.

"Not a chance Novak, you'll have to reign it in until we get home." Replied Alex pecking Casey on the lips, "Tell me about your brothers again?"

"Well, Jake is the oldest and he's married to Joanne, they have two boys Sean who is four and Neil who is two and a half. Jake works with my dad and Joanne teaches first grade. Then there is Spencer he's a travel writer with a girl or two in every port." Replied Casey as she climbed under the covers.

"So that's where you got it from." Teased Alex as she snuggled into Casey's embrace.

"Not anymore, now I'm a one woman, woman." Smiled Casey pulling Alex close and sharing a deep kiss.

"Glad to hear it." Replied Alex with a wide yawn.

"We should get some sleep, it's going to be a busy few days." Smiled Casey as she flicked off the lamp, pulling Alex close and gently raking her fingers through Alex's hair as they settled into silence.

* * *

><p>The following morning Casey spent the day showing Alex around the town she grew up in, staring at her high school, her father's work shop, the places she played as a child and where she had her first kiss. As the afternoon wore on they returned to the house to get ready for the party that evening.<p>

Stepping out of the bathroom Casey stopped dead at the sight of Alex standing in front of the mirror applying her lipstick. Wearing a form fitting black dress and matching heels with her hair loose around her shoulders she stole Casey's breath away, "Yowzah!"

Grinning at Casey's reaction Alex walked across the room and pulled her in for a deep kiss and husked, "Glad you approve. Now get dressed, we don't want to be late"

Casey groaned as Alex slipped out of the room leaving her slightly dazed and extremely horny. Shaking her head she muttered, "That woman's going to kill me." Before setting about getting ready.

Arriving at the hotel Casey introduced Alex to her brothers, groaning as they filled the blonde in on several of her more embarrassing stories including the crush she had on her history teacher, "So everyday Casey would leave an apple on her desk in the end mum and dad got called to the school." Laughed Jake.

"You know, thinking about it Miss Oakly was a blonde. Have a type much Case?" Asked Spenser bumping his shoulder against his sisters.

"Bite me." Muttered Casey.

"What about the time she was making out with Kim in her room? I thought mum's head was going to explode." Added Jake his rich laughter filling the air.

"You made out with Kim, Kim Greyleck?" Asked Alex in a shocked voice, "I thought I knew you."

"We were young and she was practicing for her date with Olivia." Mumbled Casey glaring at her brothers.

Before anymore secrets could be revealed Anne appeared, "Cassandra, come with me for a minute, your cousin needs some legal advice."

"Mum." Whined Casey.

"I have pictures and I'm not afraid to use them." Threatened Anne.

"Fine." Muttered Casey. Downing her drink she pressed a quick kiss to Alex's lips before following her mother towards her pompous cousin.

Watching Casey walk away Alex turned to the two men standing next to her, "Is this where I get the 'If you hurt her speech'?"

"Do we need to?" Asked Jake in a serious voice.

"No. I love your sister and would never do anything to hurt her. I promise you I will spend my life making her happy, supporting her and she will always know she is loved." Replied Alex sincerely.

"Then that's good enough for us. Now, which of these woman are single, straight and looking for some Spenser to brighten their day?" Grinned Spenser.

Rolling his eyes at his brother who had moved on to trying to chat up Abbie, Jake winked at Alex before being pulled onto the dance floor by his wife.

Hearing the opening note of 'I put a spell on you.' Alex smiled at Casey as she felt led her towards the dance floor, "I hope my brothers didn't scare you too much."

"No, they were perfect gentlemen. Not sure Spenser will get far with Abbie though." Smiled Alex, resting her head on Casey's shoulder as they watched Spenser get shot down my not just Abbie but Olivia and a waitress in the space of one song.

Pulling Alex closer against her as a new song began, Casey whispered, "I love you Alex, thank you for being in my life."

"I love you too and I'm the lucky one." Replied Alex pecking Casey on the lips.

They stayed on the dance floor for several more songs, whispering words of love and sharing small kisses, before heading to the table where Liv and Kim were in conversation with Abbie and Serena along with Alex and Serena's parents. The rest of the evening was spent dancing, catching up with friends and family.

As she laid in bed that night, Alex asleep on her chest Casey tried to imagine what their life together would be like, where would they live, how many children would they have, would they visit New Zealand like they planned? Despite all the questions she knew one thing for certain, they loved each other enough that no matter what they faced they would do it together and in forty years on their wedding anniversary they would be surrounded by their friends and family and be as happy as her parents had been that evening.


	17. Chapter 17

The following few months passed at an alarming rate between work and arranging their wedding it was soon the night before their wedding and Alex was getting ready to leave to go to her parents' house, where she was spending the night, whilst Casey stayed in their apartment with her parents and Kim. Sitting on the edge of the bed she flicked through the list she had saved on her iPad amazed that everything was finished and ready for the following day. Something she knew was down largely to her mother and Casey's who had been there for them when ever needed help or advice without being overbearing.

Walking into the bedroom Casey could see Alex concentrating on her iPad and smiled, "I hope that's not more wedding stuff."

"No, all you have to do is turn up tomorrow and actually marry me." Smiled Alex putting her iPad in her bag and held out her hand to Casey.

Taking advantage of Alex's position perched on the edge of the bed Casey pushed her fiancée back against the pillows and claimed her lips in a deep kiss that left them both breathless as it ended. Resting her forehead against Alex's she whispered, "I don't want you to go."

"It's one night and then you're stuck with me forever." Smiled Alex, pecking Casey on the lips.

"But I'm going to miss you." Pouted Casey.

"I'm going to miss you too, I've got used to sleeping next to a furnace." Teased Alex.

"Hey! At least I don't put my cold feet on you."

"Only because you are _never_ cold, it's almost unnatural how warm you are." Smiled Alex.

"See it's snowing outside, you need me to keep you warm."

"And this time tomorrow I will have you for the rest of my life, so one more kiss and then I have to go. Its just twenty-four hours and then I will meet you at the alter and in front of our friends and family we will declare our love for each other and we will never have to spend another night apart again." Promised Alex with a smile.

"Two kisses and you have a deal." Bargained Casey.

Three kisses later Casey reluctantly walked Alex down to her car and waved her off before heading inside and spending the evening with her parents and best friend, counting down the hours until would see Alex again.

* * *

><p>Arriving at her parents' house Alex was touched to see they had invited Abbie to stay the night and after dinner with her parents the two old friends curled up on the couch to watch Golden Girl re-runs.<p>

"So you nervous yet?" Asked Abbie stealing a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

"About Casey, no. About falling on my face, yes." Replied Alex with a small smile.

"You'll be fine, it's more likely I'll trip over my own feet and tackle you to the floor." Teased Abbie.

Rolling her eyes at her friend Alex returned her attention to the screen, laughing as Abbie imitated Blanche's lines in an overly dramatic southern accent.

Watching Alex out of the corner of her eye Abbie could see there was something on her mind, "You going to talk to me or do I have to send out for cheesecake?"

Taking a deep breath Alex mute the TV before turning so she was facing Abbie, "I know you're dating Serena and I like her but…"

"You're afraid that half way through the ceremony she's going to jump up and cause a scene? Maybe around the 'Does anyone object part?" Finished Abbie with a small smile.

"I know it's dumb but yes." Admitted Alex.

"Al, Casey loves you and even an apocalypse wouldn't be able to stop her marrying you tomorrow. As for Serena I really don't think she's in love with Casey anymore. You and I know they will always have a bond and care for each other in some way, they grew up together and shared several years of their lives but they're not in love with each other anymore. But, just in case I'll pack a lasso in my purse and the first sign of trouble, I'll bring her down"

"Thank you." Smiled Alex.

"Always. Now about that cheese cake…" Grinned Abbie.

Rolling her eyes at her friend Alex glanced down at her watch sighing when she realised she still had nineteen hours to go before she would see Casey.

* * *

><p>The following morning Casey took a relaxing shower before heading to the hairdressers with Kim glad her father had arranged to take her mother for brunch giving her time to talk to her friend alone. Taking a sip of complimentary Bucks Fizz she watched her friend out of the corner of her eye and knew Kim was distracted, the troubles with Liv were weighing heavily on her mind, despite the brave face she was putting on, "Wanna talk about it?"<p>

"Not really." Replied Kim with a small shrug.

"Liv's as miserable as you are." Offered Casey.

"That's a shame. Look Case, I appreciate what you're telling me I do but there's nothing to say, I want to be in DC and Liv won't leave New York so there's nothing more to say."

"Kim…"

"Please don't make me punch you on your nose on your wedding day, your future wife frightens me. Have the nerves kicked in yet?"

"Fine, but when you're ready to talk I'm here." Smiled Casey.

"I know, that's why I love you." Smiled Kim.

As Casey studied her reflection in the mirror she remembered the surprised look on her mother's face when she had said she wanted to wear a dress.

_Her mum had come to the city to help her find a suit for her wedding, they had just left the third store they had visited with no success and headed towards a coffee shop before continuing their search. Taking a sip of her tea Anne studied her daughter, "You could at least try one dress on." _

"_Okay." Replied Casey with a small shrug as she stirred her coffee._

"_It would be so nice…wait did you just say okay?" Asked Anne doing a double take._

"_Yes, I want to look nice for Alex." Smiled Casey with a light blush, "As long as you promise not to let me look stupid."_

"_You'll look beautiful I promise." Smiled Anne as she started listing shops they should visit._

_An hour later they had visited all but one of the shops on her mother's list. "What about this one?" Asked Casey as she stepped out of the changing room in a dark green dress, the cut showed off her curves, the colour bringing out the hazel in her eyes. _

"_Oh…Casey you look beautiful." Replied Anne with a wide smile. _

"_Promise?" Asked Casey chewing on her lip as she looked in the mirror. It wasn't a traditional bridal dress but it fitted with their theme of Christmas elegance. "Okay, I'll take it."_

She was snapped out of her thoughts by her father's voice, "You look wonderful."

"So do you." Smiled Casey looking at her father's suit, his tie the same shade as her dress as were the ties of her brothers who were acting as ushers and Alexander's who would be walking Alex down the aisle.

"I know, not bad for an old fella." Smiled Derek doing a little twirl.

"Thank you dad. Not just for today but for everything." Smiled Casey.

"Anything for my baby girl. Now we need to get going, it won't do to keep that beautiful woman of yours waiting."

Giving a small nod Casey took a small breath and followed her father out of the apartment.

* * *

><p>Alex was having a less than relaxing day, her dress had arrived with a small tear and it had taken the seamstress up until the last possible moment to fix it meaning she was late getting ready. Hearing someone come into her room she smiled at her father, "You look nice dad. I love that shade of green."<p>

"I do, I hope I don't upstage your mother, she'll be furious." Teased Alexander, pleased when his daughter gave a soft chuckle. "You look beautiful, Casey is a lucky woman."

"I'm the lucky one." Smiled Alex as she thought about her fiancée.

"How about we agree you're both lucky? By the way your mother sent me to tell to your car has arrived."

"Okay." Smiled Alex as the butterflies in her stomach took flight again.

Alexander could read his daughter like a book and could see her nerves, "You know the day I married your mum I was so nervous I thought my heart would beat out of my chest."

"What got you threw it?" Asked Alex.

"A good single malt." Winked Alexander handing his daughter the glass he had been holding.

Swallowing the Scotch Alex took a deep breath and followed her father down the stairs, posing for the appropriate pictures before heading out of the door, "That's not what we ordered." Frowned Alex as she looked at the sleek red classic Mercedes convertible idling on her parents drive.

"This might explain." Offered Alexander with a wink as he handed her an envelope with Casey's handwriting on.

Frowning Alex handed her father her bouquet before opening the envelope, amazed at the flip in her heart from just seeing Casey's untidy handwriting.

'_My Darling Alexandra,_

_I can imagine the frown on your face about now, so I won't keep you in suspense any longer. I missed you last night, I miss you every moment we are apart even if we have spent the day together, it's not enough, I will never have enough time with you. I know we opted for traditional vows, but I have a few promises I wanted to make you that are from me to you. _

_Alexandra, I promise to love you for the rest of my life and beyond, to trust you with my life, my heart and my truck. To encourage you in all you do and be faithful to you always. I promise to put you before everything else, including baseball, I promise we can name our first daughter after your grandmother and to always give you my jacket when you get cold. I promise to watch Christmas movies all years round, spend Sunday mornings doing the crossword and making you French toast and Vanilla coffee. _

_ There is nothing in this world more precious to me than you and the love you have given me and I promise to spend the rest of my life making sure you know how amazing you are, how much I love you and I will never give you cause to doubt me. Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot, I swear on fish fingers and custard that I will love you now, forever and always. _

_Now, I'm sure you're wondering about the car, I wanted to get you something special but what do you get the woman who has given you everything? No, you're not allowed to drive it today, you have forever to do that, today just sit back and be chauffeured the way you deserve._

_Happy wedding day my darling. _

_ See you soon, _

_ All my love, _

_Casey xxxx'_

"Wow." Mumbled Alex wiping her eyes carefully so as not to smudge her mascara.

"Your future wife has game." Grinned Abbie.

"That she has, now let's go get me married." Smiled Alex.

* * *

><p>Arriving at the church Alex gave her father's arm a tight squeeze, "Promise you won't let me fall on my face."<p>

"Promise." Smiled Alexander as Alex's music began to play.

"She's beautiful." Breathed Alex as she caught sight of Casey waiting for her at the altar.

"Yes she is." Smiled Alexander as they reached the end of the aisle.

"Hi, you look beautiful." Whispered Alex as she took Casey's hand.

"So do you." Smiled Casey, her eyes roaming over the high collared, ivory dress Alex was wearing.

Hearing the minister clear his throat they both gave a small giggle and turned their attention towards him. "Ladies and Gentlemen we are gathered here today to celebrate the love between Cassandra Anne Novak and Alexandra Elizabeth Cabot…Cassandra do you take Alexandra to be your lawful wedded wife?"

"I do." Replied Casey in a clear confident voice, giving Alex's hand a warm squeeze.

"Alexandra do you take Cassandra to be your lawful wedded wife?" Asked the minister.

"I do." Smiled Alex.

"Then it is my pleasure to announce you married, you may kiss the bride." Announced the minister.

Pulling Alex close Casey pressed a warm kiss against her lips, "I love you Mrs Cabot."

"I love you too Mrs Cabot." Grinned Alex.

After posing for pictures the climbed into the back of the Mercedes to head to the reception, "So, we're married." Grinned Casey sipping the champagne Alex had poured for her.

"I know, amazing isn't it." Smiled Alex pecking Casey on the lips, "I love you."

"I love you too, I mean I don't just wear a dress for anyone." Smiled Casey.

"You look breath taking." Replied Alex smiling when she saw the light blush on Casey's cheeks.

"As do you, in fact if we weren't already married I'd have to marry you." Smiled Casey pecking Alex on the lips again. "Do you like the car?"

"The car is fantastic, I love it even if it is far too much." Smiled Alex.

"Hey, you're part of the Novak family now it's mandatory that you drive a classic." Smirked Casey as they arrived at the hotel they were using for the reception.

Heading inside they greeted their guests before sitting down to a laughter filled meal with their friends and family.

Tapping his fork against the side of his glass Alexander Cabot stood up, "Ladies and gentlemen I promise to keep this short so we can get down to some serious dancing. When Alex was five she told me that magic wasn't real apart from on Christmas Eve, I'm starting to think she was right. Today she married someone, I know will always love her, take care of her and they will have a long and happy life together and myself and Laura gained a daughter and an extended family." Lowering his voice to a stage whisper he added, "One of which owns several sports cars. All joking aside Casey it's my absolute pleasure to welcome you to the family. So, I ask you to raise a glass in toast to the happy couple. To Alex and Casey."

"Alex and Casey." Parroted the crowd.

Derek Novak was next adding his congratulations to those of Alexander, pecking Casey on the lips Alex stood up, "We would like to thank you all for coming and celebrating with us today, especially as its Christmas Eve. We want to say a special thank you to our families without who none of this would have happened and lastly I want to thank my beautiful wife for marrying me and making all my Christmas wishes come true."

Once the tables were cleared away the band took to the stage and Casey led Alex onto the dance floor for their first dance as a married couple.

"I love you." Whispered Casey as they swayed to the music.

"I love you too." Smiled Alex.

* * *

><p>As Liv watched Kim smile at something the pretty blonde waitress said she felt the familiar roar of jealousy in her ears, she should be the one making Kim smile, the one dancing with her and the one to take her home and celebrate Christmas with her. She knew she had made the wrong choice the moment Kim left their apartment but was too stubborn to admit it. Swallowing the last of the wine in her glass she took a deep breath and headed over to where Kim was standing, "Hi, it was a beautiful service wasn't it."<p>

"It was, they're made for each other." Replied Kim with a polite smile.

"Take a walk with me?" Asked Liv, seeing Kim nod she lead them outside into the snowy court yard, seeing Kim shiver she slipped her jacket off and draped it around the other woman's shoulders, "You always did look good in my clothes."

"What do you want Olivia?" Asked Kim with a sigh, in truth she had missed Olivia, missed her warmth, her smile and the way she could make a bad day better just by being around.

"I miss you, I have missed you every day since you left." Replied Liv her voice soft.

"You think I'm flattered that you miss me? I'm not, you should miss me, you broke my heart and the only reason you 'miss me every day' is because you made the choice not to be with me. I didn't want to move to New York in the first place but I did because you wanted to move here and I wanted to support you. I made us a home, I never complained about your hours, the missed dates or the countless times you've stood me up because you caught a break in a case. When I needed your support it wasn't there, this is a big deal for my career and you of all people know how passionate I am about domestic violence, where was my support?" Asked Kim.

"You're right, I'm an ass. I love you and I should have supported you." Replied Liv.

"I know you like New York and consider it your home…."

"Actually, nowhere feels like home since you left. I love you Kim, please tell me it's not too late to fix this?" Begged Liv.

"Liv…"

"I'll hand in my papers after Christmas and transfer to SVU in Washington, I just want to be with you." Replied Liv pulling Kim close pleased there was no resistance, "Please?"

"I have one condition." Replied Kim with a small smile.

"Anything." Promised Liv.

"Marry me." Replied Kim.

Rather than reply Liv crashed their mouths together in a kiss, before leading Kim back inside to share the news with their friends and dance the night away.

* * *

><p>"How you holding up?" Asked Abbie as she and Serena swayed to the music.<p>

Leaning up Serena pressed a soft kiss on Abbie's lips, "I'm fine Abbie, I Promise. Now, if you had asked me that question a year ago you would have got a different answer."

"But not now?" Asked Abbie.

"No, now I'm happy for Casey and Alex, look at them they belong together. What I had with Casey will always be dear to me, but it's in the past and we've both moved on. She's found her true love."

"And you?" Asked Abbie, she knew she loved Serena, had known it for a long time but had always been afraid to say it in case Serena didn't feel the same and it spoiled what they had together.

"I have a wonderful woman who makes my heart skip a beat when she calls my name, especially if she's sleepy and her sexy accent comes through. A woman willing to miss the football to spend a day watching Disney movies and a woman I am hopelessly in love with and am hoping will say it back."

"I love you too." Replied Abbie with a wide smile as she pulled Serena impossibly closer and continued to sway to the music.

* * *

><p>Resting her head on Casey's shoulder as they danced Alex closed her eyes enjoying the feel of her wife's body pressed tight against hers, "Thank you for a perfect day."<p>

"Thank you for being my wife." Smiled Casey pressing a soft kiss to the side of Alex's head.

"I think I'm going to like being your wife." Smiled Alex.

"Ditto." Grinned Casey.

They stayed late into the night dancing with their guests, before heading up to the honeymoon suite.

Climbing out of the shower Alex smiled to herself as she thought about her wife waiting for her in the next room. Reaching into her case she pulled out the bag from Victoria's Secret she had hidden there after her last shopping trip. Pulling on the deep blue lace teddy and matching heels, taking one last look in the mirror she was satisfied with what she saw she walked out of the bathroom and leaned against the doorframe, "Hi."

Casey's attention had been on her phone where she was flicking through the pictures she had taken over the course of the day, looking up to answer Alex she did an almost comical double take when she was what her wife was wearing, "Wow!"

Alex smiled at Casey's words, she had never had a partner who made her feel as safe and sexy as Casey did, no matter what she was wearing Casey always made sure to tell her she looked beautiful even when she was in her pyjamas. "You like?"

"Beautiful." Breathed Casey, turning off her phone she stood and lifted Alex into her arms bridal style, "So damn beautiful." Laying Alex on the bed Casey leaned over

* * *

><p>her claiming her lips in a gentle kiss, her hands tracing over Alex's body, "I love you."<p>

"I love you too." Replied Alex her breath hitching as she felt Casey's mouth on her neck.

Alex tangled her fingers in the red hair she loved so much pulling Casey close she claimed her lips in a deep kiss, moaning at the electricity that spread through her body at Casey's touch. "Strip for me." Husked Alex,

Standing up Casey reached unzipping her dress, letting it pool at her feet, leaving her in her matching black lace underwear. Watching as Alex's eyes darkened she undid her bra allowing it to slowly slide down her arms dangling it from her fingertips before allowing it to fall to the floor. Hooking her thumbs in the waist band of her panties she slowly slid them down her legs before stepping out of them and walking back to the bed. "Your turn."

Smiling Alex stood from the bed giving a low moan as she dragged the silky material over her head, its softness brushing delightfully against her hard nipples. Dropping it to the floor she crawled back up the bed claiming Casey's lips in a soft kiss, before leaning back and drinking in the sight of Casey's pale skin and dusky pink nipples straining for attention. "I think I'm going to like married life."

Before Casey could form a reply she moaned as Alex brought her mouth down to her nipple, nipping it lightly before soothing it with her tongue, making Casey moan loudly and arch up from the bed pushing more of her breast into her mouth. As she began trailing kisses to the other nipple, Alex felt her arousal building in the pit of her stomach, running the flat of her tongue over the nipple, before lightly dragging the teeth over the stiff bud and sucking it into her mouth.

"Oh Al, that feels so good." Panted Casey, groaning in displeasure as Alex pulled away, "No, please don't stop." Groaned Casey.

Leaning down Alex traced her tongue across the shell of Casey's ear before lightly nipping the lobe and whispering "I wasn't planning on it."

"You're enjoying teasing me aren't you?" Groaned Casey, watching as Alex as smirked she gave a light growl and pounced on Alex flipping them so Alex was the one pressed against the pillows. Leaning down she traced the tip of her tongue across Alex's stiff nipple, making sure to keep her strokes soft and slow, to tease the blonde.

Getting frustrated Alex growled and pulled on Casey's hair until she could press a hard kiss to her mouth. Braking the kiss Alex flipped them so Casey was once again underneath her, she ran her hands down Casey's body, gently stroking her fingertips through her wet folds applying the lightest touch to the bundle of nerves, each touch causing Casey to buck her hips seeking relief.

"Please Alex! Stop teasing me, I need you." Growled Casey.

Pressing a hard kiss to Casey's mouth she entered her in a slow smooth motion causing the younger woman to moan loudly and wrap her legs around Alex to draw her closer. Seeing the pleasure on Casey's face Alex began to move her fingers faster, curling them slightly she pressed her thumb to Casey's hard clit. Feeling Casey start to tremble she added another finger, slowing her movements to give Casey time to adjust before quickening her pace causing Casey to cum hard against her hand.

"Oh my…that was...oh god…I defiantly like married life." Mumbled Casey.

Smirking Alex started kissing her way down Casey's stomach and thighs she moaned the scent of her love arousal causing her own centre to throb. Lifting Casey's legs over her shoulders she ran her tongue through the wetness waiting for her, moaning at the taste, she repeated the motion several times, before lightly sucking the redhead's clit into her mouth.

"Oh God!" Hissed Casey as the blonde began to work her clit with her tongue, her fingers deep inside her. It took only minutes for Casey to cum again calling Alex's name.

Kissing her way back up Casey's body Alex pressed a soft kiss to her mouth, causing Casey to moan at the taste of herself on Alex's lips. "Your turn." Grinned Casey once she had regained control of her breathing.

Alex felt herself pushed on to her back as Casey ran her fingertips over her body, leaving goose bumps in their wake. Leaning down Casey claimed Alex's lips in a soft kiss before kissing her way down to a hard nipple, flicking her tongue across a taunt nipple, nipping it lightly as she felt Alex scrape her nails down her back kissing across to the other nipple she could feel the heat building in the pit of her stomach again.

Leaning up to claim Alex's mouth in a gentle kiss she traced her fingers through the wetness between Alex's legs. Smiling at the feeling of Alex's arousal she entered her with two fingers causing her to moan and call out Casey's name.

Increasing the pressure she leaned up and flicked Alex's nipple with her tongue, feeling Alex's thigh against her throbbing centre, it didn't take long for Casey to cum again, followed over the edge by Alex.

Slumping down next to her lover they laid in silence as they regained control of their breathing, "I love you Casey and I'm so happy you're my wife."

"I love you too, we are going to have a long and happy life together." Promised Casey.

They made love several more times through the night before falling asleep as the first rays of Christmas sunlight filtered through their windows.

**A/N; Merry Christmas my dear readers, I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas. **


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